Coming up on the end

Good morning, God, and thank you much for this new day. We've had quite a bit of snow this week, and the world outside is quite pretty--and cold! It's appropriate, of course, for the season in which we find ourselves. It's almost Christmas, and the snow and the cold help to make the season seem even more Christmasy--to me, anyway.

Now that the end of the year is almost upon us, I find that I'm not quite sure how I feel about the year that's just gone by. It's been a challenging year in many ways, and strangely unfulfilling in many ways. I published a novel, but I don't have any marketing or sales success. I've started a new job, but while I've felt good about teaching the class, now that I'm back at the university, I'm back to having much less of an idea of who my students are, what they need, and how to help them. While I obviously don't want to dwell in the past, it is important to take lessons from what has gone by in order to do things better in the future, isn't it?

These landmarks of our lives--new years, birthdays, graduations, moving, etc.--can help us to keep focused, I suppose. They can help us to reflect upon what we're doing and how we're doing it. But I also know that if we're living life day by day, then we have to be focused on this day right here, right now, not dwelling on the past or thinking about the future. So when something like this changing of the year comes along, I do have to wonder just how much I should be focused on reflection. The year just gone by has been positive for the most part, but with significant negative elements added in. Can pondering these things really help me with the next year of my life, or would it be better for me to simply focus on the present moment and keep on keeping on.

A reply:

It's an interesting balance, is it not? From one side you hear "stay focused on the moment," while someone from a different direction is telling you that it's important to reflect on what has gone and what's to come if you want to live life fully. Still another side might tell you to just do as you're told and don't worry about things that aren't what you're supposed to be worrying about, while another will tell you to accept all things that come your way without worrying about what they mean or how they affect your life. Perspective--it's a wonderful thing.

There are certainly drawbacks to thinking too much about what has been. Yes, you can avoid future problems if you're able to identify causes and effects, and avoid the particular causes in the future. You can pacify yourself and make yourself feel better if you reflect on something and realize that you did the best you could, even if the outcome wasn't what you hoped it would be.

But remember something very important: all of these so-called "landmarks" are artificial, created by human beings in order to bring some order to an existence that they saw as unordered. Does time even exist, if we consider it subject to certain rules that can prove existence? What is a birthday but a designation that on this day, something happened. If there were no calendars, would there be birthdays? Would there be a New Year? Absolutely not.

You're a part of a race that feels a bit lost if it loses its methods of measurement, especially where time is concerned. You depend on your watches and calendars to give you a sense of place in time. Your home gives you a sense of place in space, but your watch gives you a sense of place in time. If you value that sense of place less than others, then your watch becomes less important to you. If you're comfortable with a higher level of uncertainty than other people are, then you won't need to feel that sense of place nearly as much as your fellow humans do.

That said, if you are able to function with a greater level of uncertainty, then you probably are a person who reflects on life and living on a regular basis, and there's a good chance that you don't need the artificial reminders of the passage of time to remind you to stop and take stock of where you are, what you're doing and what you've done, and perhaps even where you're going. And shouldn't that be a goal of life if you don't want to be centered in the material world--to be centered on life and living and the passing of each moment rather than trying to think about an entire year near the end of December. Think of all that you have to consider if you wait--and how much you'll forget and miss.

Life is a process, not an end result. You live the process each day, each moment. All forms of measurement of these moments are artificial, and they sometimes lead to less effective decisions about how to lead your life ("Oh, that can wait until the end of the month" isn't always the best thing to say!).

I've given you moments. Lots of moments. My hope is that you'll fill them with positive, loving, and compassionate thoughts and actions. If you want to know how to do this, just ask!

People are dying

Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day of ours.  I hope that I'm able to make the most of it and turn it into a very special day.

I have a rather heavy heart today.  More people killed in a mass shooting, this time in Bakersfield.  All these people dead, for no reason.  I know that people are killed every day, all over the world, not just in the States, but it's starting to feel like our society is degrading into a horrible mess, where people don't just not love each other, but actually are starting to hate each other just because of their differences of opinion or different outlooks on life.  We live in a society where it's becoming increasingly common for people to try to solve disputes with weapons, rather than words or reconciliation.  There are so many good people here, yet so many who have reached a point at which they want to hurt and kill others.

Why does our society not see what's going on and make a concerted effort to change things?  We have millions of people who are hurting, but very few ways for them to find help.  We have people who want companionship, intimacy, love, friendship--but who are unable to achieve any of those things that they desire.  We have people who are so desperate for something that they see their only viable option as picking up a weapon and hurting others.  Can we do anything to stop this?

A reply:

Such is the human race.  As a race, you have allowed yourselves to be swayed more by fear than by reason or compassion; more by anger than by a sense of unity.  In fact, you actively deny your unity in order to feel more justified in being angry.

What your country is suffering through now is a symptom, not a disease.  The disease has been around forever, as long as humans have been around, and it will stay with you until your communities become loving, supportive entities based on love and compassion rather than on retail and power struggles.  You need to focus more on teaching people their value and teaching them of things like effective conflict resolution.  You need to teach them what you all have in common rather than focusing on your differences as most of you do now.  You need to teach young people how to be helpful rather than helpless, and how to relate to other people on equal footing rather than on limited and artificial social structures.  You need to teach people to be responsible not just for their own actions, but for the well-being of their fellow human beings.  I can tell you honestly that apart from the mental illnesses, most of the people who have killed would not have killed if they felt themselves a part of a loving, caring community where they had a lot of support and in which they felt good about themselves.

You are the most individualistic society in the world, and that's getting even more extreme.  Young people spend many hours in front of screens--computers, games, television, movies--alone, when they could be spending that time with friends or families, learning about social rules and learning how to get along with others.  If they were to spend time with others, they also would get more encouragement, and they would start to feel better about themselves and their place in this world.

This symptom is going to go away only when you start to teach your young people to get along with each other.  Only when you pull them away from screens and teach them to be a part of a community in which they can receive good as well as give it.  Only when you start to focus on cooperation rather than competition.  Only when you teach compassion rather than judgment.  Only when you stop your politicians from bad-mouthing each other and calling each other names, providing the worst kind of role models possible for our young people.

This can be fixed, but you must start with the people and their hearts, not with the symptoms.

Work and money

Good morning, God, and thanks for this new day!  We have three degrees below zero right now, but we have a warm place for shelter and warm clothes for protection against the cold, so we have much to be thankful for.

It looks like my work situation is changing significantly, and I want to thank you for that while at the same time expressing my fear, or discomfort I guess, about the resulting financial insecurity that will come with the change.  Of course, I need to bring in an income, but there's much less income guaranteed in some situations than in others.  My fear, of course, is not having enough money to keep going.  I'm working hard at what I do, of course, but that has never been a guarantee of anything in the past.

I guess my prayer, then, is that our needs continue to be met during a transition period that's anything but safe and secure.  I appreciate the work and opportunities that I have, of course, but I do still have responsibilities and obligations that must be met.  My prayer is that I am able to meet them while still being able to get the most out of life (and you know that my wants and needs are not extravagant).

A reply:

That shall be, just as you pray it.  You have fear now, but think back to other times when you've had fear--you've ended up not just surviving, but thriving.  No, you've never gotten rich, but you knew when you chose to become a teacher that such a thing wouldn't happen.  You've met your responsibilities for the most part, and when you haven't, it's been part of a larger plan that ended up working out for you, in ways that were better than they would have been otherwise.  You've foreclosed on a house, but what would have happened had you not foreclosed would have been much worse.  You've had other problems, but the alternatives to those problems would have been very drastic, indeed.

As change comes along, the main thing I would encourage you is to be active in making the changes, rather than simply sitting back and waiting for changes to come.  You have passions and you have likes and dislikes, and you should search out that work that allows you to work within the realms of your passions.  Don't just wait around for something to come up.  Make things happen.  You can do it, and your happiness and fulfillment are at stake.  Keep your faith in me and life--it will help you to make it through the times of doubt and anxiety.  You'll do fine.