Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day--even if it is -2 degrees outside, it's still a beautiful day, and I still have much to be thankful for.
Thanksgiving has gone by already, and we're moving on to the Christmas season. The sales that now define our Thanksgiving holiday have passed for the most part, though our obnoxious retail advertisers are trying to extend them all through the weekend, all the way to Monday, now. It's such a shame that we've become so materialistic.
But all in all, things are going well. I just wanted to say hello because I've done so little here in November. While I have talked to you in other contexts, I do value talking to you in writing because it helps me to focus and clarify so well. I thank you for this wonderful new day, for the gifts I have, and for the life I'm living.
A reply:
You're welcome. Enjoy the day--that's what I made it for!
Saturday, November 28, 2015
Monday, November 16, 2015
Other people
Good morning, God, and thank you much for this new day. As I write, it's dark and cold outside, but here in the house we have heat and light to keep us comfortable and allow us to be up so early on such a day. I do want to thank you for the things that allow us to live our lives in comfort and relative ease--had we been born into a time period in the past, we would have experienced life with very few of these things.
Today I'd like to ask you about the role of other people in our lives. This perplexes me, because no matter how hard I try to be positive, no matter how hard I try to accomplish things and contribute to organizations and groups, someone always seems to sabotage my efforts, in any of a multitude of ways. It's important, I know, to go into life with a good attitude and to do our best at all we do, but it's very hard to do this when there are so many people who seem to be doing their best to bring other people down. We seem to be at the mercy of other people's whims, other people's likes and dislikes, other people's moods.
And when these other people are in positions of influence over us--bosses, supervisors, teachers, parents--they can really make our situations difficult. Even if they're on the same level we are--colleagues, fellow students, friends, acquaintances--they can make things difficult for us, too.
Of course, there are those people who try to lift up, encourage, strengthen, and brighten. They seem to be rather few and far between, though. I think that I would like to be this kind of person, but I'm not sure I have it in me to be. I try, but I don't think that I succeed all that often. And I don't want to be one of those people who are "false enthusiastic," who say how wonderful something is even when it's not wonderful. Honesty is too important to me for that.
So why, God, are others so important in the ways our lives go? Is it possible to live without giving them too much importance, even if they're our bosses and they can have a strong influence on things like our livelihoods?
A reply:
There are people who want to bring you down, either to their level or lower. They think that doing so makes them feel better about themselves, but it really doesn't. Even after they put you down, they still fear you and they still feel fear about their own weak self-esteem. The problem with this becomes exacerbated when they are given some form of control over other people, such as when they're promoted to a position of authority and they can do things like assign hours, hire and fire, or give performance reviews. They tend to use these things not to be accurate or honest, but to fulfill their own needs for building their sense of self, for making themselves feel better by "taking care of" anyone who seems to present a threat to their authority.
You live in a time when things are getting worse, too. Think for a moment of what it would mean for a subordinate to tell his or her boss "I disagree with that." Now, there are many bosses out there who are able to deal with disagreements just fine, but they're not in the majority. Most bosses will see this disagreement as a threat to their authority, and they think that it's necessary for them to "do something about" this threat. And you know the results of this. As life gets more fragmented and more people spend more time with their technology than with other human beings, the feeling of being threatened by others is going to become even more common. The defensiveness that comes with the feeling of being threatened will increase. And given the lack of human interaction, people will have learned fewer strategies for resolving conflict, and will more often resort to the exercising of their "power" over others--e.g., firing or writing people up--in order to deal with their own insecurities.
The bottom line is that it truly is important that you keep working on not letting other people's actions affect you as strongly as they might. Of course, it's impossible to not let them affect you at all, especially when it affects your paycheck or your job or your personal relationships, but you can minimize the effects a great deal by keeping in mind the fact that you are doing your best to be open and honest, and a bad reaction shows much, much more about the person reacting than it does about the person who has spoken the truth as he or she knows it.
Hang in there. Things may not get better, but you will get stronger. People are people, and while they are wonderful overall, there's much about them that can be annoying and even harmful to others. Learning to deal with them is one of the most important lessons in life.
Today I'd like to ask you about the role of other people in our lives. This perplexes me, because no matter how hard I try to be positive, no matter how hard I try to accomplish things and contribute to organizations and groups, someone always seems to sabotage my efforts, in any of a multitude of ways. It's important, I know, to go into life with a good attitude and to do our best at all we do, but it's very hard to do this when there are so many people who seem to be doing their best to bring other people down. We seem to be at the mercy of other people's whims, other people's likes and dislikes, other people's moods.
And when these other people are in positions of influence over us--bosses, supervisors, teachers, parents--they can really make our situations difficult. Even if they're on the same level we are--colleagues, fellow students, friends, acquaintances--they can make things difficult for us, too.
Of course, there are those people who try to lift up, encourage, strengthen, and brighten. They seem to be rather few and far between, though. I think that I would like to be this kind of person, but I'm not sure I have it in me to be. I try, but I don't think that I succeed all that often. And I don't want to be one of those people who are "false enthusiastic," who say how wonderful something is even when it's not wonderful. Honesty is too important to me for that.
So why, God, are others so important in the ways our lives go? Is it possible to live without giving them too much importance, even if they're our bosses and they can have a strong influence on things like our livelihoods?
A reply:
There are people who want to bring you down, either to their level or lower. They think that doing so makes them feel better about themselves, but it really doesn't. Even after they put you down, they still fear you and they still feel fear about their own weak self-esteem. The problem with this becomes exacerbated when they are given some form of control over other people, such as when they're promoted to a position of authority and they can do things like assign hours, hire and fire, or give performance reviews. They tend to use these things not to be accurate or honest, but to fulfill their own needs for building their sense of self, for making themselves feel better by "taking care of" anyone who seems to present a threat to their authority.
You live in a time when things are getting worse, too. Think for a moment of what it would mean for a subordinate to tell his or her boss "I disagree with that." Now, there are many bosses out there who are able to deal with disagreements just fine, but they're not in the majority. Most bosses will see this disagreement as a threat to their authority, and they think that it's necessary for them to "do something about" this threat. And you know the results of this. As life gets more fragmented and more people spend more time with their technology than with other human beings, the feeling of being threatened by others is going to become even more common. The defensiveness that comes with the feeling of being threatened will increase. And given the lack of human interaction, people will have learned fewer strategies for resolving conflict, and will more often resort to the exercising of their "power" over others--e.g., firing or writing people up--in order to deal with their own insecurities.
The bottom line is that it truly is important that you keep working on not letting other people's actions affect you as strongly as they might. Of course, it's impossible to not let them affect you at all, especially when it affects your paycheck or your job or your personal relationships, but you can minimize the effects a great deal by keeping in mind the fact that you are doing your best to be open and honest, and a bad reaction shows much, much more about the person reacting than it does about the person who has spoken the truth as he or she knows it.
Hang in there. Things may not get better, but you will get stronger. People are people, and while they are wonderful overall, there's much about them that can be annoying and even harmful to others. Learning to deal with them is one of the most important lessons in life.
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Waiting for Change
Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day in my life. We have about six inches of snow outside, and it looks like we've turned the corner from the warmish part of autumn into the second part, which will lead into winter. It's beautiful outside, and I thank you very much for something as pretty as snow.
Classes are going pretty well, though they are almost over--we have just five weeks left of class, which is kind of a surprise, kind of normal. Time seems to go very quickly during a college semester. In any case, I thank you for the classes and for the time that I've been able to spend with the students--it's been very valuable to me.
Classes are going pretty well, though they are almost over--we have just five weeks left of class, which is kind of a surprise, kind of normal. Time seems to go very quickly during a college semester. In any case, I thank you for the classes and for the time that I've been able to spend with the students--it's been very valuable to me.
I titled this "Waiting for Change" because I feel that there's a huge need for change in my life, especially in the area of work. I know that what I'm doing now isn't sustainable financially, and I need to find something else that will pay the bills more reliably. I say "waiting" even though I know that I need to actively pursue change--it doesn't just sneak up on me and happen one day. The problem is, though, that things could go in any of several directions, and I'm not sure which direction is right for me at this point in my life. Should I focus on my writing? On online classes? On teaching at the university? There are so many possibilities, yet I'm not sure which one would be the most effective or the most reliable or the most beneficial. Help!
A reply:
You find yourself at what many people would call a crossroads. You have several different paths that are open to you, but no knowledge at all of what lies down any of the particular roads. I'm surprised that you didn't mention the fear--this type of situation almost always brings about fear.
Me:
Me:
May be the fear's too strong, too prevalent for me to even notice it for what it is. Or perhaps my faith is finally growing strong enough that I don't fear such situations any longer?
A reply:
Both of those are possible, of course. But that would be a discussion for a different time, when our focus is on something else. You're concerned about these different paths that you may take. And not so much with the paths themselves, but with the results that the paths create in your life. If you choose writing, for example, and you're not able to earn enough money from it, then you'll have major financial problems. If you choose the university and you're not able to get enough classes, then you'll have the same problem. It's fascinating--and rather dismaying--that your major concern when considering the paths you should take in your life is money.
And it doesn't dismay me as a result of what you're doing or thinking. It dismays me in the sense that you live in a society that doesn't value helping people to reach their potential and follow their gifts--you live in a society that has come to worship money and profit, and that has made it very difficult for people to follow paths that contribute to the financial side of the world in indirect ways. You're a teacher--your contribution to your society's economy is extremely vital to that economy, yet because no one sees any short-term profit from your work, you're marginalized financially through weak financial rewards for your work.
And it doesn't dismay me as a result of what you're doing or thinking. It dismays me in the sense that you live in a society that doesn't value helping people to reach their potential and follow their gifts--you live in a society that has come to worship money and profit, and that has made it very difficult for people to follow paths that contribute to the financial side of the world in indirect ways. You're a teacher--your contribution to your society's economy is extremely vital to that economy, yet because no one sees any short-term profit from your work, you're marginalized financially through weak financial rewards for your work.
But you're aware of that. Now you stand at a crossroads that demands a decision from you--either you move wholeheartedly in one direction and give it your all, or you take a few hesitant steps in two or three of the directions, hoping for some sort of sign that you're on the right road. I think that you know from reading that sentence which is going to be--in the long run--the most beneficial choice for you to make. Now you need to look in your heart and spirit and decide what you have a passion for, what makes you feel best about yourself and all that you do. Will it be the short steps and no commitment to a direction, or will it be full commitment, come hell or high water? (Sorry, but some cliches I allow myself because they're so expressive!)
You can wait for change if you'd like. Or you can be the agent of change and make the changes that you know are best for you and yours. Your faith is growing, and I would encourage you to make your faith an important part of your decision-making process. You'll do fine, whatever direction you choose. You just want the direction that will help you to grow and prosper in the ways that you're supposed to.
You can wait for change if you'd like. Or you can be the agent of change and make the changes that you know are best for you and yours. Your faith is growing, and I would encourage you to make your faith an important part of your decision-making process. You'll do fine, whatever direction you choose. You just want the direction that will help you to grow and prosper in the ways that you're supposed to.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)