Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day in my life. It's a beautiful day so far, one that promises to be peaceful and relaxing. It's a nice kind of day to look forward to during this season of peace and hope and love, and this season of introspection and reverence.
Because it is Christmas, I like to think Christmas thoughts--I like to think about people caring for one another, people sharing what they have, people thinking about others and what they may want as gifts. I like to think about what life would be like if we had the same thoughts about others the entire year long, and if we were to think more about the people in our lives than we think about ourselves. What would the world be like if we considered the well-being of our fellow human beings before we thought about our own?
I know it's kind of a pipe dream, but it is a fascinating concept, isn't it? I know that the chances of such a thing happening in my lifetime--if it ever does happen with humans--is slim to none. But I also often wonder what I could do to help bring about such a state of affairs--if I can do anything at all. It would be nice to contribute to the positive side of the world, but can I do so? And if so, how?
This is only a short note, as I'm not really in the writing mood at the moment, but I do want to say thank you for this beautiful season, and thanks for all that I have--and thank you for a glimpse of how things could be if we were to keep Christmas in our hearts all year long, focusing on others and their needs rather than on ourselves and our own needs. I do appreciate this holiday season, and I love it very much.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Not caring
Good morning, God. Thanks for this new day--I hope that I'm able to make it a positive one in many ways, but we'll see what happens! I know that I have many opportunities in the coming hours to make something special of the day, but things don't always go as planned, or as hoped.
Yesterday was very frustrating at school. There are those days when some students are too much, when their lack of caring and their lack of effort just becomes overwhelming. It gets very frustrating being in a classroom with students who just don't want to work. I understand much more why teachers burn out so quickly and so badly--we face students who give no effort, and then we're blamed for the fact that they don't learn. It's pretty sad. And I understand that there are many factors that contribute to their problems, and I do sympathize with them, but I can't fix their lives. I see them only in the classroom, and I have to deal with them on that level.
I don't think I'm asking for an answer today. I'm just kind of venting.
Yesterday was very frustrating at school. There are those days when some students are too much, when their lack of caring and their lack of effort just becomes overwhelming. It gets very frustrating being in a classroom with students who just don't want to work. I understand much more why teachers burn out so quickly and so badly--we face students who give no effort, and then we're blamed for the fact that they don't learn. It's pretty sad. And I understand that there are many factors that contribute to their problems, and I do sympathize with them, but I can't fix their lives. I see them only in the classroom, and I have to deal with them on that level.
I don't think I'm asking for an answer today. I'm just kind of venting.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Checking In
Good morning, God--
It's been a while since I've talked to you here, though we have talked in other contexts, in other ways. Things are getting busy again, with a lot of time and energy focused in one particular direction over the last couple of weeks. Fortunately, the time and energy spent is having positive results, so the time hasn't been wasted. I just hope that the results continue to be good, and continue to improve.
The school experience seems to have dropped into a valley. The students that I work with are great kids, but few of them seem to want to excel. Few of them seem to want to accomplish more than doing the bare minimum and then moving on to the next thing. It's a sad thing to watch, to be honest. The lack of drive in young people who have so much potential is painful to watch. And it's even more painful to be trying to motivate them to excel, only to have them turn a deaf ear to my efforts. Perhaps I'm not the person to be motivating them--perhaps there's someone out there to whom they would respond better. I don't know.
I do understand better now why teachers have so many problems with students. It's easily the most frustrating--and fulfilling--work that I've done. There are many times when I just want to turn around and walk out, but I know that that would be wrong, and would accomplish nothing but getting a lot of stress out of my life. But my life right now has become a constant series of reflections on how to get kids to respond, to be interested in what we're doing.
I guess that you understand this frustration quite well. You must feel it a lot with us.
A reply.
Yes, I do.
It's been a while since I've talked to you here, though we have talked in other contexts, in other ways. Things are getting busy again, with a lot of time and energy focused in one particular direction over the last couple of weeks. Fortunately, the time and energy spent is having positive results, so the time hasn't been wasted. I just hope that the results continue to be good, and continue to improve.
The school experience seems to have dropped into a valley. The students that I work with are great kids, but few of them seem to want to excel. Few of them seem to want to accomplish more than doing the bare minimum and then moving on to the next thing. It's a sad thing to watch, to be honest. The lack of drive in young people who have so much potential is painful to watch. And it's even more painful to be trying to motivate them to excel, only to have them turn a deaf ear to my efforts. Perhaps I'm not the person to be motivating them--perhaps there's someone out there to whom they would respond better. I don't know.
I do understand better now why teachers have so many problems with students. It's easily the most frustrating--and fulfilling--work that I've done. There are many times when I just want to turn around and walk out, but I know that that would be wrong, and would accomplish nothing but getting a lot of stress out of my life. But my life right now has become a constant series of reflections on how to get kids to respond, to be interested in what we're doing.
I guess that you understand this frustration quite well. You must feel it a lot with us.
A reply.
Yes, I do.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Trust Issues
As an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, I have trust issues. This is a reality for me--I have difficulty trusting people. It's a fact of life that I can't change, and that I don't necessarily need or want to change. I accept it for what it is and I deal with it, and I do my best to keep my difficulties to a minimum. I recognize that I do have the problem and I work hard to make sure that I don't allow it to affect other people. In other words, I don't let my difficulties in trusting you affect the way I treat you--I treat you as someone whom I should trust, even though there's something in the back of my mind that says that you will betray me or that you won't come through on your promises.
This is very hard to live with. My mind is telling me constantly that no matter what I do, other people will let me down; therefore I have to take care of everything myself if I want it to have a positive outcome. And unfortunately, many people in my life still continue to violate my trust. People who owe my wife and me money aren't paying us back. People who owe money to a trust that I control aren't paying the trust. I accepted a job because I was promised something as a part of that job, but that something hasn't come through. Overall, my experiences tell me that trusting people is a mistake, though my heart tells me that it's the best thing to do.
What do I do about this? What can I do about this? My wife and I are currently facing the possibility of bankruptcy--if we're even able to declare it--because other people aren't paying us what they owe us. We've tried to be generous, we've tried to be giving, we've tried to be helpful, and right now those efforts are definitely haunting us, as virtually everything that we earn is going out each month to make payments to compensate for what the other people aren't paying us. In short, we're screwed. Even though we're both working extremely hard and earning decent money (not good--decent), we don't see any benefits at all from our work--at least, not financial benefits.
I usually feel like I'm treading water, and I don't know how it's come to this when the people we've trusted are so close to us. We shouldn't be in this situation. We're not big spenders, we buy all of our clothes either on sale or in thrift stores, we buy store brands and almost never eat out, we don't vacation at all. . . yet we're basically broke all the time because we're having to pay out money that other people aren't paying us.
What more can I do? What more can we do? How can I build trust in people--or develop it in the first place--when people keep betraying our trust and letting us down?
An answer:
This is very difficult to address, for there are so many different variables to be taken into consideration. I know that sounds like a cop-out, but it is the truth.
First of all, don't get down on yourself. The "Law of Attraction" people will tell you that these people are people that your lack of trust attracts people into your life who can't be trusted; therefore, they say, it's basically your fault. But these people are family, not people whom you've "attracted." What has happened has been the result of your willingness to be sharing, to be generous, and to be kind, and the people in your life--your family--have accepted that generosity but not lived up to the terms that they agreed to when they accepted it.
This is not your fault. It is not your doing. Some things in life don't have anything to do with you, but with other people. This is a fact that the Law of Attraction people deny, and when they deny it, they're basically placing blame on you for other people's actions.
I think that one of the most basic questions that I can ask is simply this: Do you trust me? Do you trust that I will make sure that you're alright, that you don't starve, that you're not out in the street? Do you trust that things will turn out okay in the long run, even if they look bad in the short run?
Me: Yes, I do trust that, though it's difficult. It's hard to trust the "long run" when the short run offers no real evidence that the long run will be better. Our short run over the last three years has been full of loss after loss. That's the bottom line. We've really gained nothing at all, and we've lost a house, an RV, all of our credit, all of my retirement money, all of the furniture we had, and quite a bit more. And through that loss we've dealt with tons of stress from creditors, and mostly because of loans that we co-signed on for family members.
So the short answer is, no, not really, because there's very little evidence that I can be trusted. And I can understand that response. Now, I can sit here and reassure you over and over again that things will be okay as long as you trust me, yet you've trusted others whom you love and the result has been very negative. Therefore, you see only the possibility of a negative result if you trust me now. Your major concern as I see it, though, is less about trust and more about how much you can take before you reach a breaking point. How much work can you do without seeing any benefits before you're not able to continue working? How many times can people let you down before you lost faith in them completely?
These are all very important issues, and I will address them. Just not right now. Right now it's very late and you're very tired, and since you're the one writing all this down, the best thing you can do is get some sleep. This will also give you some time to process all that you've said, to think about it fully from several different angles. Hopefully when you get back to this, you'll be able to be open to the answers that I give you.
I will talk to you soon.
This is very hard to live with. My mind is telling me constantly that no matter what I do, other people will let me down; therefore I have to take care of everything myself if I want it to have a positive outcome. And unfortunately, many people in my life still continue to violate my trust. People who owe my wife and me money aren't paying us back. People who owe money to a trust that I control aren't paying the trust. I accepted a job because I was promised something as a part of that job, but that something hasn't come through. Overall, my experiences tell me that trusting people is a mistake, though my heart tells me that it's the best thing to do.
What do I do about this? What can I do about this? My wife and I are currently facing the possibility of bankruptcy--if we're even able to declare it--because other people aren't paying us what they owe us. We've tried to be generous, we've tried to be giving, we've tried to be helpful, and right now those efforts are definitely haunting us, as virtually everything that we earn is going out each month to make payments to compensate for what the other people aren't paying us. In short, we're screwed. Even though we're both working extremely hard and earning decent money (not good--decent), we don't see any benefits at all from our work--at least, not financial benefits.
I usually feel like I'm treading water, and I don't know how it's come to this when the people we've trusted are so close to us. We shouldn't be in this situation. We're not big spenders, we buy all of our clothes either on sale or in thrift stores, we buy store brands and almost never eat out, we don't vacation at all. . . yet we're basically broke all the time because we're having to pay out money that other people aren't paying us.
What more can I do? What more can we do? How can I build trust in people--or develop it in the first place--when people keep betraying our trust and letting us down?
An answer:
This is very difficult to address, for there are so many different variables to be taken into consideration. I know that sounds like a cop-out, but it is the truth.
First of all, don't get down on yourself. The "Law of Attraction" people will tell you that these people are people that your lack of trust attracts people into your life who can't be trusted; therefore, they say, it's basically your fault. But these people are family, not people whom you've "attracted." What has happened has been the result of your willingness to be sharing, to be generous, and to be kind, and the people in your life--your family--have accepted that generosity but not lived up to the terms that they agreed to when they accepted it.
This is not your fault. It is not your doing. Some things in life don't have anything to do with you, but with other people. This is a fact that the Law of Attraction people deny, and when they deny it, they're basically placing blame on you for other people's actions.
I think that one of the most basic questions that I can ask is simply this: Do you trust me? Do you trust that I will make sure that you're alright, that you don't starve, that you're not out in the street? Do you trust that things will turn out okay in the long run, even if they look bad in the short run?
Me: Yes, I do trust that, though it's difficult. It's hard to trust the "long run" when the short run offers no real evidence that the long run will be better. Our short run over the last three years has been full of loss after loss. That's the bottom line. We've really gained nothing at all, and we've lost a house, an RV, all of our credit, all of my retirement money, all of the furniture we had, and quite a bit more. And through that loss we've dealt with tons of stress from creditors, and mostly because of loans that we co-signed on for family members.
So the short answer is, no, not really, because there's very little evidence that I can be trusted. And I can understand that response. Now, I can sit here and reassure you over and over again that things will be okay as long as you trust me, yet you've trusted others whom you love and the result has been very negative. Therefore, you see only the possibility of a negative result if you trust me now. Your major concern as I see it, though, is less about trust and more about how much you can take before you reach a breaking point. How much work can you do without seeing any benefits before you're not able to continue working? How many times can people let you down before you lost faith in them completely?
These are all very important issues, and I will address them. Just not right now. Right now it's very late and you're very tired, and since you're the one writing all this down, the best thing you can do is get some sleep. This will also give you some time to process all that you've said, to think about it fully from several different angles. Hopefully when you get back to this, you'll be able to be open to the answers that I give you.
I will talk to you soon.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Good morning
Good morning, God. I just have a little prayer today that I'd like to share with you. I pray that as I go through the day, I'm able to treat all people with the dignity and respect that they deserve. I hope that I'm able to face any problems head-on and deal with them effectively. I pray that you will be with me all day long on a conscious level--that I don't forget that you're there with me as I make decisions and try to do the best in all I can. And I thank you for this new day full of promise and potential, full of opportunities to work with my students and to do what I can to teach them well, in ways that will be beneficial to them in the long term, not just now.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Prayer
Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day in my life. I have more opportunities to learn and to grow today, and I really do appreciate them.
I started thinking last night about prayer, and about just how little I actually do pray. I do believe that living our lives as fully as we can is a form of prayer, but I also believe that a strong prayer life can help us to keep focused on you and on the "better" things in life, the more fulfilling things. Unfortunately, though, I find that I'm not really spending all that much time talking to you, or listening to you. I do write on this blog from time to time, but I'm not really sure that this qualifies as actual prayer, a time of communion with you. Sometimes I think that this is just me rambling. Sometimes I think that this is less about talking to and with you and more about just talking (or writing, as the case is).
Other times I think that this is a very important form of prayer, a prayer that helps me to clarify thoughts and feelings, a prayer that helps me to let you know how I feel and what's up with my life. It's my best way of expressing myself, and it wouldn't be a lot different for me to sit down in a quiet place and talk to you, either out loud or in my mind.
But if these "prayers" of mine are important, am I really covering the things that will help me to live a more fulfilling life? Am I really bringing to you the issues that I should bring to you? I haven't been talking here about the frustrations I've been going through the last four years. I haven't been talking about the difficulties in relationships because I know that here online, other people can see them and misinterpret them. And if I'm neglecting things like those here, and I'm not covering those things in a different form of prayer, then just when can I bring those things up with you? And how?
Sometimes I feel that prayer is a bit futile, since there's this conception that you know everything anyway. But that's a thought that doesn't sit well with me--why would you want to know everything about everyone. Perhaps you're like a computer in that respect--the information's there, but only if you want or need to access it. Otherwise, it's just out there until someone else brings it to you.
I don't know. I know that many people pray to try to get their own way, to try to gain control over others. Many people pray for material goods. Others pray for forgiveness, even over things for which they don't really need to be forgiven. I pray to clarify--but I'm not sure that can be considered communicating with you. And isn't that how I communicate with everyone these days--just to get or to share information? I'm not sure what prayer should be, but I never leave it with a feeling of having been comforted--I always leave it with a feeling of "that's something I need to work on."
A reply:
Your last two sentences finally get to the gist of the matter with you. Prayer is communion with me, in whatever form you find the most helpful. And yes, this does count, writing in this blog. But you're dealing with a frustration that you haven't been able to conquer in your life--not being able to connect with other people. You try very hard to connect, but since you still haven't been able to overcome most of your fears (the ones that have been with you since you grew up with an alcoholic father), most of your communication takes the paths determined by your fears, not by your love.
And yes, that includes your communication with me. Because you started out life letting your fear determine how you communicated, you faced much, much rejection, and all of that rejection served to reinforce your fears and drive them more deeply into your being. And that's where you come from most of the time--from a place determined by your fear. Even when you talk to me. Heck, especially when you talk to me.
When you ask me for things like financial stability, behind every request is the fear that what you ask for won't be granted--and in your case, you view that fear as a surety. What you ask me for won't be granted. You're sure of that. Yet you ask anyway, even though you see no hope of actually getting what you ask for. And because you see no hope, you act as if the financial stability you seek (for example) won't be coming no matter what you do. But it is out there for you to achieve. You just have to believe that it is achievable.
Now this goes against the grain for you, because you don't like to be blamed for things. That's typical of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. But remember that I am not blaming you for anything. This is just the way things are. And in order for things to become different, then the way you act must change. The things that you do must change. If you want financial stability, then your relationship with money--the ways that you earn it and spend it and use it--must change. And so far, they have changed. You're in the process of making your way toward the stability you seek, but it is a path that you need to follow to the end. Yes, there are some shortcuts and some other paths that can offer you insights and income and other things that may help you, but in the end, you must walk the path. You're on it. Trust the path. Trust me.
And if you're feeling this dissatisfaction with prayer, listen to the discomfort, and learn from it. Find ways to make prayer a more central focus in your life. You won't regret it. Your dissatisfaction is your spirit talking to you. Your spirit has been patient up until now, but if it's speaking up, that means that your spirit sees that patience is no longer the most effective way of dealing with you.
I started thinking last night about prayer, and about just how little I actually do pray. I do believe that living our lives as fully as we can is a form of prayer, but I also believe that a strong prayer life can help us to keep focused on you and on the "better" things in life, the more fulfilling things. Unfortunately, though, I find that I'm not really spending all that much time talking to you, or listening to you. I do write on this blog from time to time, but I'm not really sure that this qualifies as actual prayer, a time of communion with you. Sometimes I think that this is just me rambling. Sometimes I think that this is less about talking to and with you and more about just talking (or writing, as the case is).
Other times I think that this is a very important form of prayer, a prayer that helps me to clarify thoughts and feelings, a prayer that helps me to let you know how I feel and what's up with my life. It's my best way of expressing myself, and it wouldn't be a lot different for me to sit down in a quiet place and talk to you, either out loud or in my mind.
But if these "prayers" of mine are important, am I really covering the things that will help me to live a more fulfilling life? Am I really bringing to you the issues that I should bring to you? I haven't been talking here about the frustrations I've been going through the last four years. I haven't been talking about the difficulties in relationships because I know that here online, other people can see them and misinterpret them. And if I'm neglecting things like those here, and I'm not covering those things in a different form of prayer, then just when can I bring those things up with you? And how?
Sometimes I feel that prayer is a bit futile, since there's this conception that you know everything anyway. But that's a thought that doesn't sit well with me--why would you want to know everything about everyone. Perhaps you're like a computer in that respect--the information's there, but only if you want or need to access it. Otherwise, it's just out there until someone else brings it to you.
I don't know. I know that many people pray to try to get their own way, to try to gain control over others. Many people pray for material goods. Others pray for forgiveness, even over things for which they don't really need to be forgiven. I pray to clarify--but I'm not sure that can be considered communicating with you. And isn't that how I communicate with everyone these days--just to get or to share information? I'm not sure what prayer should be, but I never leave it with a feeling of having been comforted--I always leave it with a feeling of "that's something I need to work on."
A reply:
Your last two sentences finally get to the gist of the matter with you. Prayer is communion with me, in whatever form you find the most helpful. And yes, this does count, writing in this blog. But you're dealing with a frustration that you haven't been able to conquer in your life--not being able to connect with other people. You try very hard to connect, but since you still haven't been able to overcome most of your fears (the ones that have been with you since you grew up with an alcoholic father), most of your communication takes the paths determined by your fears, not by your love.
And yes, that includes your communication with me. Because you started out life letting your fear determine how you communicated, you faced much, much rejection, and all of that rejection served to reinforce your fears and drive them more deeply into your being. And that's where you come from most of the time--from a place determined by your fear. Even when you talk to me. Heck, especially when you talk to me.
When you ask me for things like financial stability, behind every request is the fear that what you ask for won't be granted--and in your case, you view that fear as a surety. What you ask me for won't be granted. You're sure of that. Yet you ask anyway, even though you see no hope of actually getting what you ask for. And because you see no hope, you act as if the financial stability you seek (for example) won't be coming no matter what you do. But it is out there for you to achieve. You just have to believe that it is achievable.
Now this goes against the grain for you, because you don't like to be blamed for things. That's typical of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. But remember that I am not blaming you for anything. This is just the way things are. And in order for things to become different, then the way you act must change. The things that you do must change. If you want financial stability, then your relationship with money--the ways that you earn it and spend it and use it--must change. And so far, they have changed. You're in the process of making your way toward the stability you seek, but it is a path that you need to follow to the end. Yes, there are some shortcuts and some other paths that can offer you insights and income and other things that may help you, but in the end, you must walk the path. You're on it. Trust the path. Trust me.
And if you're feeling this dissatisfaction with prayer, listen to the discomfort, and learn from it. Find ways to make prayer a more central focus in your life. You won't regret it. Your dissatisfaction is your spirit talking to you. Your spirit has been patient up until now, but if it's speaking up, that means that your spirit sees that patience is no longer the most effective way of dealing with you.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Hi
Good day, God--and thank you for another set of hours to live through, a new set of experiences to have, and a new day full of opportunities to do good for others. I thank you for this new day and all that it brings, and I ask you to be with me today so that my actions and words will be uplifting and encouraging. If you're with me, I know that I'll be able to stay more focused on doing what needs to be done and saying what needs to be said, rather than relying solely on my own judgment. Which is good, I know, because it's a gift from you, but which often gets hijacked by the ego in an effort to make myself feel better or feel like I have some control.
A reply:
Good morning to you, too--and thanks for saying Good Day to me. You would be amazed at how many people simply never do so. I will be with you all day, as I am every day, in all situations. You are right--if you stay focused on me being there with you, your actions do change. It's kind of like the way one speaks when one is with one's mother versus how one speaks when mom isn't around. This is one of the reasons that we have mothers and fathers; or at least, that was the original intention. The way things are today, this is a principle that is fading.
You have the right idea to try to keep your judgment and your ego separated--good job on that! And good luck with it; I'm sure you'll do fine, especially since you are aware of the issue.
I wish you a glorious day, and I wish you all the best with your students today!
A reply:
Good morning to you, too--and thanks for saying Good Day to me. You would be amazed at how many people simply never do so. I will be with you all day, as I am every day, in all situations. You are right--if you stay focused on me being there with you, your actions do change. It's kind of like the way one speaks when one is with one's mother versus how one speaks when mom isn't around. This is one of the reasons that we have mothers and fathers; or at least, that was the original intention. The way things are today, this is a principle that is fading.
You have the right idea to try to keep your judgment and your ego separated--good job on that! And good luck with it; I'm sure you'll do fine, especially since you are aware of the issue.
I wish you a glorious day, and I wish you all the best with your students today!
Monday, November 19, 2012
Not thankful enough?
Good morning, God! Thank you for this new day, and this new week. I do appreciate the fact that I get at least another day on this planet, and that this coming week is going to be a very short one at work, and a very easy one at that.
It's Thanksgiving week here in the States, and this is what I see as a wonderful holiday. How can it be a bad one when there are so many people focused so strongly on gratitude and on being with people we love? It's a more difficult holiday still because so many people are still hurting for money, but that of course doesn't take away from the beauty of what the holiday is.
That said, I do have to ask you about gratitude. What we hear from others is that if we have enough gratitude for the things that we have in life, then we will always have enough things, and even more. If we're thankful enough for our salary, they say, then our salary will go up. If we're thankful for our friends, then we'll have even more friends. But I'm one of the most thankful people that I know--my mind is constantly focused on gratitude for the things and opportunities that I have, and on the people who are a part of my life. Yet over the years, I constantly find that I have less and less of the things for which I'm thankful. After many years of being thankful for work, I was laid off through no fault of my own. Even though I'm thankful for our home and the things we have, we find ourselves constantly in financial stress, constantly struggling to make ends meet, also through no fault of our own (but that's another story!).
I guess my question is this: Are these people right? Am I fooling myself to think that I'm grateful when in reality I'm not? Is my gratitude somehow faulty, or self-serving? Are our financial difficulties a result of a lack of gratitude for the finances we have? Does the Law of Attraction not work for us because we're focused on the wrong things? I've spent years trying to work myself out of the concept of lack, and away from thoughts of lack, but when things don't change no matter how much I change, does that not say that there's something wrong? There are many people out there telling me that the things that happen to me are all a result of my thinking--so does that mean that in my thinking there isn't enough gratitude?
An answer:
To answer your last question first: absolutely not. That should do it. Once you hear the answer to that question, you should feel the doubts you're feeling slip away. But I know that more of an explanation will be helpful to you.
The people out there who are telling you these things are people who are trying to make money by telling other people things that have worked for them in their lives. What they are doing is generalizing the cause-and-effect relationships that they've seen, without being completely sure that they're seeing them correctly. In other words, they think positively for a few months, they see positive results, and they infer that the first caused the second.
But your life is not a result of just your thoughts. You could have thought the most positive thoughts in the world several years ago, and you still would have been laid off. Your experience there was a result of situations entirely out of your sphere of control, and they were bound to happen. The school district was poorly run, and it ran out of money. That's all there was to it. When you walk into the classroom and you have all the positive thoughts you can possibly have, and two of your students are having awful days, the attitude that they bring to class is beyond your control. You can try to help them to change their attitudes, but if something serious is going on at their homes, then you're probably going to have limited success. Their worlds extend beyond the classroom.
Gratitude is extremely important in life, but it doesn't guarantee anything except positive results in your own attitude. Thankfulness does bring great things, but that doesn't stop other things from happening. Deaths happen, anger happens, resentment happens--and when those things happen to others who allow their own negative feelings to affect your life, then all you can do is control your own reaction. And having an attitude that is full of thankfulness for the blessings in your life definitely can help you to cope with the negative things when they happen, but that attitude isn't necessarily going to be a causal agent for a life without problems or negative issues.
Your idea of "not thankful enough" is a result of seeing and hearing what other people say and then applying their words to your life without really stopping to make sure that what they say is accurate. I know that you don't do this month, and it heartens me to see that you don't slam yourself for your supposed lack of gratitude. In fact, you have a healthy perspective on how much gratitude you do have. Keep it. It will be a good and faithful friend through hard times and easy. But don't think that anything negative that happens in your life has been brought forth by you. Things often come from other sources, and they do affect you. In those cases, the most important thing you can do is to make your way through those times in as positive a way as you can. Thankfulness will help you to do so.
It's Thanksgiving week here in the States, and this is what I see as a wonderful holiday. How can it be a bad one when there are so many people focused so strongly on gratitude and on being with people we love? It's a more difficult holiday still because so many people are still hurting for money, but that of course doesn't take away from the beauty of what the holiday is.
That said, I do have to ask you about gratitude. What we hear from others is that if we have enough gratitude for the things that we have in life, then we will always have enough things, and even more. If we're thankful enough for our salary, they say, then our salary will go up. If we're thankful for our friends, then we'll have even more friends. But I'm one of the most thankful people that I know--my mind is constantly focused on gratitude for the things and opportunities that I have, and on the people who are a part of my life. Yet over the years, I constantly find that I have less and less of the things for which I'm thankful. After many years of being thankful for work, I was laid off through no fault of my own. Even though I'm thankful for our home and the things we have, we find ourselves constantly in financial stress, constantly struggling to make ends meet, also through no fault of our own (but that's another story!).
I guess my question is this: Are these people right? Am I fooling myself to think that I'm grateful when in reality I'm not? Is my gratitude somehow faulty, or self-serving? Are our financial difficulties a result of a lack of gratitude for the finances we have? Does the Law of Attraction not work for us because we're focused on the wrong things? I've spent years trying to work myself out of the concept of lack, and away from thoughts of lack, but when things don't change no matter how much I change, does that not say that there's something wrong? There are many people out there telling me that the things that happen to me are all a result of my thinking--so does that mean that in my thinking there isn't enough gratitude?
An answer:
To answer your last question first: absolutely not. That should do it. Once you hear the answer to that question, you should feel the doubts you're feeling slip away. But I know that more of an explanation will be helpful to you.
The people out there who are telling you these things are people who are trying to make money by telling other people things that have worked for them in their lives. What they are doing is generalizing the cause-and-effect relationships that they've seen, without being completely sure that they're seeing them correctly. In other words, they think positively for a few months, they see positive results, and they infer that the first caused the second.
But your life is not a result of just your thoughts. You could have thought the most positive thoughts in the world several years ago, and you still would have been laid off. Your experience there was a result of situations entirely out of your sphere of control, and they were bound to happen. The school district was poorly run, and it ran out of money. That's all there was to it. When you walk into the classroom and you have all the positive thoughts you can possibly have, and two of your students are having awful days, the attitude that they bring to class is beyond your control. You can try to help them to change their attitudes, but if something serious is going on at their homes, then you're probably going to have limited success. Their worlds extend beyond the classroom.
Gratitude is extremely important in life, but it doesn't guarantee anything except positive results in your own attitude. Thankfulness does bring great things, but that doesn't stop other things from happening. Deaths happen, anger happens, resentment happens--and when those things happen to others who allow their own negative feelings to affect your life, then all you can do is control your own reaction. And having an attitude that is full of thankfulness for the blessings in your life definitely can help you to cope with the negative things when they happen, but that attitude isn't necessarily going to be a causal agent for a life without problems or negative issues.
Your idea of "not thankful enough" is a result of seeing and hearing what other people say and then applying their words to your life without really stopping to make sure that what they say is accurate. I know that you don't do this month, and it heartens me to see that you don't slam yourself for your supposed lack of gratitude. In fact, you have a healthy perspective on how much gratitude you do have. Keep it. It will be a good and faithful friend through hard times and easy. But don't think that anything negative that happens in your life has been brought forth by you. Things often come from other sources, and they do affect you. In those cases, the most important thing you can do is to make your way through those times in as positive a way as you can. Thankfulness will help you to do so.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Lots of fear
Good morning, God, and thank you much for this new day in our lives. I really do appreciate having another day on this planet to live and grow and learn and give. There have been many, many people on this planet who have not had as much time as I've had, living in a time of plenty as I do.
I've been thinking a lot about all the hatred and fear that we've been witnessing over the last few months as our ridiculous election process came to a head. It astonishes me that so many people who have so much as a result of the society that's been built here can do so much to try to hurt others. It amazes me that those who have the most so often do the least to share what they have. It makes me sad to see that their preferred method of trying to persuade someone to vote for one candidate is to harm the reputation of the other one.
It was really pretty obvious, also, that much of the anger directed at our president had to do with his race. The fact that there are still people who hold on to racist ideologies sickens me, especially when they expose our children to those thoughts and perspectives. That sort of garbage is the last thing that we need our children to be learning if we want our society to grow and develop. Racism just throws us back many years into a dark time when people were so afraid of life that they had to subjugate other people to make themselves feel better about their own lives.
I understand that fear is one of the primary motivators among humans, but after all these years of learning how to deal with it, why do we still have so many people who spread fear for their own gain, and so many people who buy into what they're spreading? It's sad and despicable that people who have plenty can try to make others fearful so that they can continue to have plenty.
An answer:
Everyone wants to maintain that which they've gained. No one wants to spend their lives creating and building a legacy--even if that legacy is as fleeting as financial wealth--only to lose it. The people of which you speak may be among the wealthiest among you, but they're also among the most fearful. Could you imagine what it would be like to go through each day working mostly just to maintain the fortune that you've built, instead of going through the day trying to give to others and contribute to the world in positive ways? Yes, you do have money worries, and yes, you have lost an awful lot over the last four years, but imagine what that loss would have looked like had you been wealthy.
And of course, you can make the argument, "Had I been wealthy, I wouldn't have lost all that." But keep in mind that often, in order to maintain one's wealth, one must risk huge amounts of money. If those risks go bad, of course, it's possible that one can lose virtually everything. In your situation, you know how to live frugally and it doesn't affect you negatively in the least. But if you had gotten used to luxury and a wealthy lifestyle, it wouldn't be nearly as easy for you to make the change to a lifestyle that's predicated on saving money and watching your spending closely.
You also don't have the fear of what you'll look like in other people's eyes. One of the most destructive forces among the wealthy is their tendency to put much, MUCH importance on appearances. They feel that they have to appear perfect at all times, and it's difficult to express the damage that they do to themselves and to their families when they adopt that need as a lifestyle.
In short, much of the anger and hatred that the world witnessed was a result of the fear of loss, the fear that if one candidate was elected, the conditions that tend to favor the wealthy (because they've made them up, of course, with the power the money has brought them) would soon be diminished, and without that favor, they may have to struggle more to survive. The last thing they want is a level playing field, for that takes away their advantages. That's just how it is. And when there's a threat of change, no matter how positive that change would be for the country as a whole, there are always some who will fear that change and the changes that they'd be forced into. Fear is a huge factor in life, and when you have more to lose, you have more to fear.
What interests me is that all the attacks and all the fear-mongering didn't seem to work. This time. That seems like a step forward.
I've been thinking a lot about all the hatred and fear that we've been witnessing over the last few months as our ridiculous election process came to a head. It astonishes me that so many people who have so much as a result of the society that's been built here can do so much to try to hurt others. It amazes me that those who have the most so often do the least to share what they have. It makes me sad to see that their preferred method of trying to persuade someone to vote for one candidate is to harm the reputation of the other one.
It was really pretty obvious, also, that much of the anger directed at our president had to do with his race. The fact that there are still people who hold on to racist ideologies sickens me, especially when they expose our children to those thoughts and perspectives. That sort of garbage is the last thing that we need our children to be learning if we want our society to grow and develop. Racism just throws us back many years into a dark time when people were so afraid of life that they had to subjugate other people to make themselves feel better about their own lives.
I understand that fear is one of the primary motivators among humans, but after all these years of learning how to deal with it, why do we still have so many people who spread fear for their own gain, and so many people who buy into what they're spreading? It's sad and despicable that people who have plenty can try to make others fearful so that they can continue to have plenty.
An answer:
Everyone wants to maintain that which they've gained. No one wants to spend their lives creating and building a legacy--even if that legacy is as fleeting as financial wealth--only to lose it. The people of which you speak may be among the wealthiest among you, but they're also among the most fearful. Could you imagine what it would be like to go through each day working mostly just to maintain the fortune that you've built, instead of going through the day trying to give to others and contribute to the world in positive ways? Yes, you do have money worries, and yes, you have lost an awful lot over the last four years, but imagine what that loss would have looked like had you been wealthy.
And of course, you can make the argument, "Had I been wealthy, I wouldn't have lost all that." But keep in mind that often, in order to maintain one's wealth, one must risk huge amounts of money. If those risks go bad, of course, it's possible that one can lose virtually everything. In your situation, you know how to live frugally and it doesn't affect you negatively in the least. But if you had gotten used to luxury and a wealthy lifestyle, it wouldn't be nearly as easy for you to make the change to a lifestyle that's predicated on saving money and watching your spending closely.
You also don't have the fear of what you'll look like in other people's eyes. One of the most destructive forces among the wealthy is their tendency to put much, MUCH importance on appearances. They feel that they have to appear perfect at all times, and it's difficult to express the damage that they do to themselves and to their families when they adopt that need as a lifestyle.
In short, much of the anger and hatred that the world witnessed was a result of the fear of loss, the fear that if one candidate was elected, the conditions that tend to favor the wealthy (because they've made them up, of course, with the power the money has brought them) would soon be diminished, and without that favor, they may have to struggle more to survive. The last thing they want is a level playing field, for that takes away their advantages. That's just how it is. And when there's a threat of change, no matter how positive that change would be for the country as a whole, there are always some who will fear that change and the changes that they'd be forced into. Fear is a huge factor in life, and when you have more to lose, you have more to fear.
What interests me is that all the attacks and all the fear-mongering didn't seem to work. This time. That seems like a step forward.
Monday, November 5, 2012
A Spirit Am I
Good evening, God, and thank you for another day of being able to work with a bunch of fascinating and inspiring young people. It was another rewarding day, one that saw nothing particularly amazing, but that was very positive nonetheless. I really do appreciate the opportunity to work with young people, for it helps to keep my attitude positive in many ways.
I want to write this evening about my spirit. Although referring to it that way, of course, is inaccurate, a reflection of the untrue perspective that's been taught to me my whole life long. There's no such thing as "my" spirit, after all--as if a spirit is something that we possess, like a football or a shirt. No, we really ARE spirit, and we really ARE unified with you. Our unity is one of the most important elements of who and what we are, yet it's something that we tend to forget almost all the time. But if I am spirit, then that's something that I never should forget, isn't it? Isn't that something that should be super important to me, something that I focus on all the time, for being a spirit puts me on a different level than the level on which I see myself as a human being?
Or perhaps I don't want to remember that I'm spirit, for if I do so, then doesn't that raise the bar for me in virtually everything that I do? The moral and ethical implications are profound, to say the least, and the physical and mental and emotional aspects of my being are also affected deeply by a perspective that acknowledges that I am not simply another body here on this planet, but a spirit who is using a body for the time being.
I'll admit, I can't even define "spirit" or "soul" for you. I have no idea what they are in the sense that the people of our world use those words. And I suppose that it isn't even important that I be able to do so. I think the most important thing that I can do is simply to be a spirit, even if I don't know completely what it means to be that. Perhaps, God, you could help to open my eyes and my heart and my mind to the awareness of what this part of me actually is.
I think that it's important for me to get somewhat of a grasp on just what I am, for in order to develop my relationship with you more clearly, I need to know clearly who I am. And while I would like to write more right now, I'm definitely falling asleep, so I'll finish this off sometime tomorrow, and get myself to bed right now. Thanks for listening! I'll be back!
I want to write this evening about my spirit. Although referring to it that way, of course, is inaccurate, a reflection of the untrue perspective that's been taught to me my whole life long. There's no such thing as "my" spirit, after all--as if a spirit is something that we possess, like a football or a shirt. No, we really ARE spirit, and we really ARE unified with you. Our unity is one of the most important elements of who and what we are, yet it's something that we tend to forget almost all the time. But if I am spirit, then that's something that I never should forget, isn't it? Isn't that something that should be super important to me, something that I focus on all the time, for being a spirit puts me on a different level than the level on which I see myself as a human being?
Or perhaps I don't want to remember that I'm spirit, for if I do so, then doesn't that raise the bar for me in virtually everything that I do? The moral and ethical implications are profound, to say the least, and the physical and mental and emotional aspects of my being are also affected deeply by a perspective that acknowledges that I am not simply another body here on this planet, but a spirit who is using a body for the time being.
I'll admit, I can't even define "spirit" or "soul" for you. I have no idea what they are in the sense that the people of our world use those words. And I suppose that it isn't even important that I be able to do so. I think the most important thing that I can do is simply to be a spirit, even if I don't know completely what it means to be that. Perhaps, God, you could help to open my eyes and my heart and my mind to the awareness of what this part of me actually is.
I think that it's important for me to get somewhat of a grasp on just what I am, for in order to develop my relationship with you more clearly, I need to know clearly who I am. And while I would like to write more right now, I'm definitely falling asleep, so I'll finish this off sometime tomorrow, and get myself to bed right now. Thanks for listening! I'll be back!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
In All Honesty
Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day. I hope to make it a good day, one in which I'm able to give to others who are willing to receive! I would like to ask you to stay with me, though, and to help me to stay focused on love and compassion, and not let frustration or any other negative emotions take charge of me or my actions or reactions.
I put that title, there, God, because I'm still very confused about the concept of honesty, especially how it applies to us. In theory, honesty isn't supposed to be a relative term, but in reality it definitely seems to be. If I'm in a store with my wife and she wants an opinion on a piece of clothing, I can tell her what I think if something doesn't seem to fit her. But if she's at home and she's already bought it and she's asking me what I think, then I can't give her the same answer that I would have given her in the store before she bought it. It's a very strange dynamic.
But my major concern is that in our culture, lying is becoming not only acceptable, but even defendable. If I support you and you've been completely dishonest, then I'll defend your words, even though I know that they're not true. I do this to be "true" to you. It doesn't make sense. When should we call our loyalty off and acknowledge the fact that someone has lied, and even call them on that? How can we even think of electing as our leaders people who have blatantly lied, have been called on their lies, yet still present themselves as leaders?
A reply:
Election time is a very good time to have these thoughts, for we see so many people struggling with their ideas of truth, and many people violating their own ideas about it.
In fact, truth can be seen as being much like me: everyone wants you to worship their idea of me, yet few are willing to live up to their own ideas of me. They say that you're wrong if you don't believe as they believe, but their actions very often don't live up to just what they believe in me. Many say that I'm a God of love and compassion, yet show little of either in their lives. But as soon as you fail to show love and compassion, they'll be all over you with their harsh criticism.
Truth is similar. People have their ideas and their ideals concerning truth, and most people would agree that truth is relative, yet as soon as they catch you "violating" their ideals about truth, they're willing to condemn you--even though they violate those same ideals themselves. They just don't get caught by other people.
Truth must be relative. Some people will say that I condemn liars, but I really don't condemn anyone--you condemn yourselves. (But that's a different topic!) There are many lies that I look on with approval. For example, say that you're with a man during his last few moments of life. In that time, he says some incredibly harsh, mean, and vicious things about his wife, who can't be there with you. You're the only person in the world who knows what he says, and later, his wife asks you what he said during his last moments of life. Are you going to be completely honest and tell her, word for word, exactly what he said? Of course not--if you do, then you're just as cruel as he was. But if you say something like, "He wasn't able to talk much near the end, but he did want me to tell you that he loved you very much," you have lied. But it's a lie that feels right, because it's a lie that is right.
I have given you an inner mechanism, a conscience, that is a very good indicator of what's right and what's wrong. You'll know when saying something that isn't true is the best thing for a given situation. In politics, when people lie knowingly to try to hurt someone else, they never feel good about it in their consciences, though their logical minds may tell them that what they're doing is fine. But they're also not being honest with themselves, and that lack of honesty will come back to them. All things that are done with malice come back to those who commit them.
I put that title, there, God, because I'm still very confused about the concept of honesty, especially how it applies to us. In theory, honesty isn't supposed to be a relative term, but in reality it definitely seems to be. If I'm in a store with my wife and she wants an opinion on a piece of clothing, I can tell her what I think if something doesn't seem to fit her. But if she's at home and she's already bought it and she's asking me what I think, then I can't give her the same answer that I would have given her in the store before she bought it. It's a very strange dynamic.
But my major concern is that in our culture, lying is becoming not only acceptable, but even defendable. If I support you and you've been completely dishonest, then I'll defend your words, even though I know that they're not true. I do this to be "true" to you. It doesn't make sense. When should we call our loyalty off and acknowledge the fact that someone has lied, and even call them on that? How can we even think of electing as our leaders people who have blatantly lied, have been called on their lies, yet still present themselves as leaders?
A reply:
Election time is a very good time to have these thoughts, for we see so many people struggling with their ideas of truth, and many people violating their own ideas about it.
In fact, truth can be seen as being much like me: everyone wants you to worship their idea of me, yet few are willing to live up to their own ideas of me. They say that you're wrong if you don't believe as they believe, but their actions very often don't live up to just what they believe in me. Many say that I'm a God of love and compassion, yet show little of either in their lives. But as soon as you fail to show love and compassion, they'll be all over you with their harsh criticism.
Truth is similar. People have their ideas and their ideals concerning truth, and most people would agree that truth is relative, yet as soon as they catch you "violating" their ideals about truth, they're willing to condemn you--even though they violate those same ideals themselves. They just don't get caught by other people.
Truth must be relative. Some people will say that I condemn liars, but I really don't condemn anyone--you condemn yourselves. (But that's a different topic!) There are many lies that I look on with approval. For example, say that you're with a man during his last few moments of life. In that time, he says some incredibly harsh, mean, and vicious things about his wife, who can't be there with you. You're the only person in the world who knows what he says, and later, his wife asks you what he said during his last moments of life. Are you going to be completely honest and tell her, word for word, exactly what he said? Of course not--if you do, then you're just as cruel as he was. But if you say something like, "He wasn't able to talk much near the end, but he did want me to tell you that he loved you very much," you have lied. But it's a lie that feels right, because it's a lie that is right.
I have given you an inner mechanism, a conscience, that is a very good indicator of what's right and what's wrong. You'll know when saying something that isn't true is the best thing for a given situation. In politics, when people lie knowingly to try to hurt someone else, they never feel good about it in their consciences, though their logical minds may tell them that what they're doing is fine. But they're also not being honest with themselves, and that lack of honesty will come back to them. All things that are done with malice come back to those who commit them.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
What I Can and Can't Do
Good morning, God, and thanks for this new day in my life. It's getting cold here in Idaho these days--it seems like yesterday that we were turning on the air conditioner to cool off the house a bit. Now we can see snow on the not-so-distant mountains, and we've even had a few days of rain to enjoy. On this new day, I hope to do something helpful and useful to and for others, so I most definitely would appreciate your help in seeing what would be good to do, and what would be counterproductive or even destructive. Making decisions isn't always easy, and any help I can get to make the right ones would make me very grateful.
It's Thursday, so most of the work week has gone by. We have just two more days of classes until we have another weekend, and I'm looking forward to that! Last weekend was spent on the go and correcting papers and such, so this weekend promises to be restful.
In this day ahead, though, I do want to ask for your guidance in a very specific area. As a teacher I find that there are many, many grey areas in which it seems like I should be able to do something, while at the same time it seems that it really isn't my place even to try. Sometimes it seems that I should be able to reach a certain student, while at other times it seems that someone else is a much better candidate for doing so, or that the student just isn't ready to be reached.
Sometimes it seems that I should be able to teach 100% of my students a certain concept or process, and at other times it seems that I should be happy with 70 or 80%.
I know that I can't do everything; nor am I meant to be able to do so. But in some areas, it should be possible to accomplish a lot. Could you help me to discern between those two dynamics? When should I push harder because something is attainable but we're just not there yet, and when should I back off a bit because even if we push terribly hard, the goal is beyond us at the moment?
After all, I wouldn't expect to be able to swim the English Channel if I've been swimming for just three or four days. Sometimes in school we think that we should be able to do certain things just because we've done some other things, but that's not always the case.
So the bottom line is that I'd like to ask your help in making decisions about just what I'm going to do with my students, and just what I'm going to expect from them when they do what they do. Any advice that you can give would be greatly appreciated, too.
It's Thursday, so most of the work week has gone by. We have just two more days of classes until we have another weekend, and I'm looking forward to that! Last weekend was spent on the go and correcting papers and such, so this weekend promises to be restful.
In this day ahead, though, I do want to ask for your guidance in a very specific area. As a teacher I find that there are many, many grey areas in which it seems like I should be able to do something, while at the same time it seems that it really isn't my place even to try. Sometimes it seems that I should be able to reach a certain student, while at other times it seems that someone else is a much better candidate for doing so, or that the student just isn't ready to be reached.
Sometimes it seems that I should be able to teach 100% of my students a certain concept or process, and at other times it seems that I should be happy with 70 or 80%.
I know that I can't do everything; nor am I meant to be able to do so. But in some areas, it should be possible to accomplish a lot. Could you help me to discern between those two dynamics? When should I push harder because something is attainable but we're just not there yet, and when should I back off a bit because even if we push terribly hard, the goal is beyond us at the moment?
After all, I wouldn't expect to be able to swim the English Channel if I've been swimming for just three or four days. Sometimes in school we think that we should be able to do certain things just because we've done some other things, but that's not always the case.
So the bottom line is that I'd like to ask your help in making decisions about just what I'm going to do with my students, and just what I'm going to expect from them when they do what they do. Any advice that you can give would be greatly appreciated, too.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Honesty
Hello, God--
First of all, good morning--and thank you for another day in my life, and for all the things and people in that life. I really do appreciate them all.
I do have a question for you, though. It seems that as I look around me, I don't see a lot of honesty these days. I don't see all that many people who put an extremely high priority on being honest and keeping their word. In fact, it seems that more and more we see people in the public eye who are far less than honest, who are more interested in saying what they think people want to hear than they are in saying what is true and accurate.
Just yesterday, a vice-presidential candidate stopped by a soup kitchen and had pictures taken of him there in a shameless attempt at a photo opportunity--the place was closed, no one was eating there, and he hadn't even made sure it was okay with them if he showed up. He just did, and had people taking pictures of him washing dishes and such. It was a pre-fabricated lie, yet he felt that it was acceptable that he do this. And he's one of our leaders!
What's up?
A response:
Honesty always has been a problem with people who want to have what they perceive as power. Dishonesty is born of fear, and what you're seeing is people who are afraid that the truth isn't good enough, so they have to embellish it or even create their own version of truth.
I would say that someone who is so afraid of what he seems to be that he goes out of his way to create a reality that really isn't him probably would not make a very effective leader, except over those who are just as fearful as he is. But that's just a thought. Your societies will elect the leaders that seem to fit at any given time, whether or not they're qualified to lead, whether or not they're effective leaders.
When someone is dishonest, you will find the fear not very deep, up near the surface of who they are. They're feeling vulnerable, and they're feeling that if they do tell the truth, it will hurt them somehow. People will judge them as not being good enough, talented enough, not having done enough with their lives. There are people who are dishonest in malicious ways, and they use that dishonesty to try to hurt others--these are the most fearful people of all, yet their fear is so deep and so comprehensive that it has overwhelmed all their other senses and thoughts.
Dishonesty is nothing new. With today's media, though, you tend to see it more. And while one would think that the new media focus would make people more afraid to be dishonest because they can get caught so much easier, the truth is that if their fear is strong enough, they will lie with the thought that it's easier to apologize for a lie than it is to admit that they're not good enough. And that's a lie that they're telling themselves, that they're not good enough. Because you all are. All the time.
First of all, good morning--and thank you for another day in my life, and for all the things and people in that life. I really do appreciate them all.
I do have a question for you, though. It seems that as I look around me, I don't see a lot of honesty these days. I don't see all that many people who put an extremely high priority on being honest and keeping their word. In fact, it seems that more and more we see people in the public eye who are far less than honest, who are more interested in saying what they think people want to hear than they are in saying what is true and accurate.
Just yesterday, a vice-presidential candidate stopped by a soup kitchen and had pictures taken of him there in a shameless attempt at a photo opportunity--the place was closed, no one was eating there, and he hadn't even made sure it was okay with them if he showed up. He just did, and had people taking pictures of him washing dishes and such. It was a pre-fabricated lie, yet he felt that it was acceptable that he do this. And he's one of our leaders!
What's up?
A response:
Honesty always has been a problem with people who want to have what they perceive as power. Dishonesty is born of fear, and what you're seeing is people who are afraid that the truth isn't good enough, so they have to embellish it or even create their own version of truth.
I would say that someone who is so afraid of what he seems to be that he goes out of his way to create a reality that really isn't him probably would not make a very effective leader, except over those who are just as fearful as he is. But that's just a thought. Your societies will elect the leaders that seem to fit at any given time, whether or not they're qualified to lead, whether or not they're effective leaders.
When someone is dishonest, you will find the fear not very deep, up near the surface of who they are. They're feeling vulnerable, and they're feeling that if they do tell the truth, it will hurt them somehow. People will judge them as not being good enough, talented enough, not having done enough with their lives. There are people who are dishonest in malicious ways, and they use that dishonesty to try to hurt others--these are the most fearful people of all, yet their fear is so deep and so comprehensive that it has overwhelmed all their other senses and thoughts.
Dishonesty is nothing new. With today's media, though, you tend to see it more. And while one would think that the new media focus would make people more afraid to be dishonest because they can get caught so much easier, the truth is that if their fear is strong enough, they will lie with the thought that it's easier to apologize for a lie than it is to admit that they're not good enough. And that's a lie that they're telling themselves, that they're not good enough. Because you all are. All the time.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
I just want to say "thanks"
Hello, God!
I don't usually write in the afternoons, but today I just feel like it. I want to say thank you for all that we have in this world--a comfortable place to live, food to eat, rewarding and fulfilling work to do, and a future full of possibility and potential. I know that all of this comes undeserved--had I been born in a different country, at a different time, to different parents, who knows what the present would be like? I know for sure that things might be better if any of those "ifs" had come to pass, but I also know that things for me could be much, much worse.
Sometimes I wonder just why I have what I do, while others go hungry, while others go homeless. Is it luck of the draw? Is it based on decisions we made before we came here? How much do you have to do with each of our individual situations? My heart tells me that you don't do a lot of meddling in our lives, that you let us be to make our mistakes and earn our triumphs. But I have so much to be thankful for that I never have earned, and I'm just not sure how to attribute those things. And in the end, it really doesn't matter when or how they came to be, does it? What matters is that I recognize the blessings that are a part of my life and that I appreciate them, for without appreciation, they really do mean nothing.
So thank you, God, for all that is in my life. And thank you for the life that you've given me, in which I'm able to learn and grow and change and improve. This really is a beautiful world full of amazing gifts, such as the many trees that I saw today that are turning brilliant colors for the fall--what a gift those are! So thank you. Very much.
A response:
You're welcome.
I don't usually write in the afternoons, but today I just feel like it. I want to say thank you for all that we have in this world--a comfortable place to live, food to eat, rewarding and fulfilling work to do, and a future full of possibility and potential. I know that all of this comes undeserved--had I been born in a different country, at a different time, to different parents, who knows what the present would be like? I know for sure that things might be better if any of those "ifs" had come to pass, but I also know that things for me could be much, much worse.
Sometimes I wonder just why I have what I do, while others go hungry, while others go homeless. Is it luck of the draw? Is it based on decisions we made before we came here? How much do you have to do with each of our individual situations? My heart tells me that you don't do a lot of meddling in our lives, that you let us be to make our mistakes and earn our triumphs. But I have so much to be thankful for that I never have earned, and I'm just not sure how to attribute those things. And in the end, it really doesn't matter when or how they came to be, does it? What matters is that I recognize the blessings that are a part of my life and that I appreciate them, for without appreciation, they really do mean nothing.
So thank you, God, for all that is in my life. And thank you for the life that you've given me, in which I'm able to learn and grow and change and improve. This really is a beautiful world full of amazing gifts, such as the many trees that I saw today that are turning brilliant colors for the fall--what a gift those are! So thank you. Very much.
A response:
You're welcome.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Good morning!
Good morning, God! I don't want to write anything today--I just want to say hi and wish you a beautiful day--I hope that we do some things on this planet that make you feel good today!
Monday, October 8, 2012
A New Day
Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day in my life. My wife and I have just passed a beautiful weekend for our anniversary, and we really do appreciate the opportunities that we had to go up into the mountains, to go hiking, to see the changing aspen and the mountain lake that we hiked to and all the other glorious sights. It was a lovely time, and we both appreciate it very much.
But now today, it's back to work. That's not a bad thing, obviously, though sometimes it feels like it is. I often have to catch myself when I think, "Oh, no--I have to go to work today (or tomorrow)," because to be completely honest, that's not something for which "Oh, no" is appropriate. I like my work. I enjoy my time in the classroom. It's not a problem at all for me to go to work, yet sometimes I feel stress creeping up on me and making me feel that somehow the day is going to be negative or challenging or simply bad.
When this happens to me, I feel that I've been unfair to life. Life has given me a lot of very positive things, yet it's very easy for me to turn them into negatives. Why should I and how can I turn them into negatives? Why does my mind do something that's so contrary to reality? I enjoy the company of my students, and I have a very positive work environment, so why should I stress out about going to do something I enjoy doing with people with whom I enjoy being? It makes no sense.
* * *
A reply:
"It makes no sense." Couldn't you say this about many of your reactions and thoughts and feelings throughout the course of your lifetime? Many of them make no sense at all from a rational perspective, yet you have them anyway. The important thing about them, though, is that they give you a chance to see situations apart from your rational perspective, and they give your self an opportunity to react from a place other than your logical and rational mind. This doesn't always end up well--for example, when you allow your fear-based reactions to control your actions--but it does give you a chance to see that there are more ways to look at the world than with just the rational side of your mind.
Your tendency to create stress where there is none is a good example of your fear-based approach to the world. And let's face it--not all of the teaching that you've done has been in environments as positive as the one you're in now. In some of those cases, your stress was justifiable in some ways, as the environments in which you worked were far from healthy, and things didn't always go well no matter how well you did in the classroom.
But you see, you're progressing well. It used to be that you carried that stress with you all day into whatever work you were doing. Now you recognize it early and you try to banish it from your mind well before you ever get to work. That's a very good thing. Much of your stress, of course, is caused by the fear of not being well enough prepared, not by the fear of anything the students will do or won't do. So you also have that dynamic within your control. You spent yesterday preparing instead of grading, for example, which goes a long way towards helping out with today.
Much of life is about learning--about finding out things that work and things that don't, and then doing more of the former and less of the latter. You know that stress doesn't work to make your days bright and enjoyable and productive, so you've already discovered how to lessen that stress by focusing on the positive aspects of your work. And that's a very, very good thing, don't you think? So take the lessons that you need from life, and don't worry so much about whether you should or shouldn't be thinking or feeling in certain ways--look more at how you respond to those thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings will arise unbidden, and the quality of your life is determined more by how you respond to them than by what they are to begin with.
But now today, it's back to work. That's not a bad thing, obviously, though sometimes it feels like it is. I often have to catch myself when I think, "Oh, no--I have to go to work today (or tomorrow)," because to be completely honest, that's not something for which "Oh, no" is appropriate. I like my work. I enjoy my time in the classroom. It's not a problem at all for me to go to work, yet sometimes I feel stress creeping up on me and making me feel that somehow the day is going to be negative or challenging or simply bad.
When this happens to me, I feel that I've been unfair to life. Life has given me a lot of very positive things, yet it's very easy for me to turn them into negatives. Why should I and how can I turn them into negatives? Why does my mind do something that's so contrary to reality? I enjoy the company of my students, and I have a very positive work environment, so why should I stress out about going to do something I enjoy doing with people with whom I enjoy being? It makes no sense.
* * *
A reply:
"It makes no sense." Couldn't you say this about many of your reactions and thoughts and feelings throughout the course of your lifetime? Many of them make no sense at all from a rational perspective, yet you have them anyway. The important thing about them, though, is that they give you a chance to see situations apart from your rational perspective, and they give your self an opportunity to react from a place other than your logical and rational mind. This doesn't always end up well--for example, when you allow your fear-based reactions to control your actions--but it does give you a chance to see that there are more ways to look at the world than with just the rational side of your mind.
Your tendency to create stress where there is none is a good example of your fear-based approach to the world. And let's face it--not all of the teaching that you've done has been in environments as positive as the one you're in now. In some of those cases, your stress was justifiable in some ways, as the environments in which you worked were far from healthy, and things didn't always go well no matter how well you did in the classroom.
But you see, you're progressing well. It used to be that you carried that stress with you all day into whatever work you were doing. Now you recognize it early and you try to banish it from your mind well before you ever get to work. That's a very good thing. Much of your stress, of course, is caused by the fear of not being well enough prepared, not by the fear of anything the students will do or won't do. So you also have that dynamic within your control. You spent yesterday preparing instead of grading, for example, which goes a long way towards helping out with today.
Much of life is about learning--about finding out things that work and things that don't, and then doing more of the former and less of the latter. You know that stress doesn't work to make your days bright and enjoyable and productive, so you've already discovered how to lessen that stress by focusing on the positive aspects of your work. And that's a very, very good thing, don't you think? So take the lessons that you need from life, and don't worry so much about whether you should or shouldn't be thinking or feeling in certain ways--look more at how you respond to those thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings will arise unbidden, and the quality of your life is determined more by how you respond to them than by what they are to begin with.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Hurdles
Good morning, God, and thank you for a new day in my life. It's going to be a cold and windy day this day, and I'm looking forward to feeling the colder weather after a very hot summer.
I'd like to talk to you about the hurdles in our lives. We've just hit another one, one that hit us pretty hard in a way that we weren't expecting to get hit. We've been doing our best for so long to try to get things stabilized a bit, yet we can't seem to be able to do so. Is this instability a planned part of our lives, or is it coming to teach us valuable lessons, or is it a result of poor decisions on our part? I certainly don't believe that you send stuff like this as retribution for bad decisions that we might make, so I can't see the obstacles as originating with you--that makes no sense. So where do they come from? Why can we not make ends meet--and why can't so many other people these days? Is this some mass preparation for dealing with poverty and austerity that's coming, or is it a reminder of just how good we've had things in the past, things that we've come to take for granted? I'll bet there are tons of people who wish they could step right back into their lives of five or ten years ago, back when they had what they considered to be stability and prosperity.
So why are we being hit so hard, still, with financial obstacle after financial blow? Why can't we reach any sort of stability, no matter how hard we try? We are very fortunate because we aren't starving or living on the streets, but we're finding it very difficult to continue to be beaten down by life without seeing any real results of the efforts we make to stabilize our situation.
* * *
Good morning to you, too. It's nice to be able to hear from you first thing in the morning like this--yes, I do like hearing from you, whether it seems that way to you or not. You and I--and everyone else--have an incredible connection that most people learn early to deny and ignore, so every chance I get to have a one-on-one chat with someone is a very good, very welcome chance.
As far as what you ask is concerned, there is no pat answer for you, as I know you already know. First and most importantly, you are right in saying that there is no effort on my part to punish anyone for mistakes that they've made. I have no lightning bolts in my hand to toss down on people who do bad things, and I have no written plan that's going to guarantee someone years of poverty just for having taken for granted prosperity they might have experienced. We are all tied together, and would I shoot the foot and damage the whole body just because the foot did something "wrong"?
Your current situation is a result of a combination of factors--decisions that you've made, decisions that your wife has made, decisions that your family members have made, decisions that people you'll never know have made, decisions made by heads of corporations and people in the government. Most of those decisions you'll never be aware of, yet they do affect you greatly--and that's a part of the life you're leading. Accepting that fact is one of the keys to making that life more bearable and even enjoyable. Yes, you have made some poor decisions, but remember that what you see and experience are simply results of those decisions--not punishment or rewards.
You are doing things that will help you down the road, and your current situation has been the catalyst that has jump-started your efforts to do those things and to maximize their effects. In some ways, then, your current situation has been positive and helpful. It's also forcing you to learn a bit more about patience--even though you're already a very patient person, we all could always stand to learn a bit more about it, and put it into practice more effectively in our lives.
When things are going poorly, I find that people either give up, ask someone else to do what they should be doing, or just get out there and try to make things right. For the most part, you are being active and you are trying your best to put yourself on the track that you wish to be on, and that's a wonderful thing. It does take time, though, so please be patient. You will find that others will help you, but you must be patient so that those things have a chance to manifest themselves--and be manifested by you--in your life. We can talk more about that some other time, though!
I'd like to talk to you about the hurdles in our lives. We've just hit another one, one that hit us pretty hard in a way that we weren't expecting to get hit. We've been doing our best for so long to try to get things stabilized a bit, yet we can't seem to be able to do so. Is this instability a planned part of our lives, or is it coming to teach us valuable lessons, or is it a result of poor decisions on our part? I certainly don't believe that you send stuff like this as retribution for bad decisions that we might make, so I can't see the obstacles as originating with you--that makes no sense. So where do they come from? Why can we not make ends meet--and why can't so many other people these days? Is this some mass preparation for dealing with poverty and austerity that's coming, or is it a reminder of just how good we've had things in the past, things that we've come to take for granted? I'll bet there are tons of people who wish they could step right back into their lives of five or ten years ago, back when they had what they considered to be stability and prosperity.
So why are we being hit so hard, still, with financial obstacle after financial blow? Why can't we reach any sort of stability, no matter how hard we try? We are very fortunate because we aren't starving or living on the streets, but we're finding it very difficult to continue to be beaten down by life without seeing any real results of the efforts we make to stabilize our situation.
* * *
Good morning to you, too. It's nice to be able to hear from you first thing in the morning like this--yes, I do like hearing from you, whether it seems that way to you or not. You and I--and everyone else--have an incredible connection that most people learn early to deny and ignore, so every chance I get to have a one-on-one chat with someone is a very good, very welcome chance.
As far as what you ask is concerned, there is no pat answer for you, as I know you already know. First and most importantly, you are right in saying that there is no effort on my part to punish anyone for mistakes that they've made. I have no lightning bolts in my hand to toss down on people who do bad things, and I have no written plan that's going to guarantee someone years of poverty just for having taken for granted prosperity they might have experienced. We are all tied together, and would I shoot the foot and damage the whole body just because the foot did something "wrong"?
Your current situation is a result of a combination of factors--decisions that you've made, decisions that your wife has made, decisions that your family members have made, decisions that people you'll never know have made, decisions made by heads of corporations and people in the government. Most of those decisions you'll never be aware of, yet they do affect you greatly--and that's a part of the life you're leading. Accepting that fact is one of the keys to making that life more bearable and even enjoyable. Yes, you have made some poor decisions, but remember that what you see and experience are simply results of those decisions--not punishment or rewards.
You are doing things that will help you down the road, and your current situation has been the catalyst that has jump-started your efforts to do those things and to maximize their effects. In some ways, then, your current situation has been positive and helpful. It's also forcing you to learn a bit more about patience--even though you're already a very patient person, we all could always stand to learn a bit more about it, and put it into practice more effectively in our lives.
When things are going poorly, I find that people either give up, ask someone else to do what they should be doing, or just get out there and try to make things right. For the most part, you are being active and you are trying your best to put yourself on the track that you wish to be on, and that's a wonderful thing. It does take time, though, so please be patient. You will find that others will help you, but you must be patient so that those things have a chance to manifest themselves--and be manifested by you--in your life. We can talk more about that some other time, though!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
It's Been a While
Hello, God--
And thanks for your patience with me. It's been a while since I've written any note to you here, as life has gotten quite busy and there have been very important things that have taken priority over a blog in my life. That doesn't mean that I've forgotten you or neglected you, just that you've given me tasks that have been very important, and I've needed my time and effort to be focused on those things. I enjoy what I'm doing, especially my work with the students, but it does require me to be strongly focused, especially during the first month at a new school.
Not writing on this blog definitely doesn't mean that I haven't been thinking about you or trying to do your will. This blog is a nice way of speaking to you directly through the written word, but it is not the only way that you and I have contact, as you well know. I wish you could let other people realize that there are many ways to talk to God, to talk with God, and that if they need to change up their method of communication now and then, that's fine. It's not a crime.
I think too many people spend too much time talking about God instead of talking to God, and then not listening when God tries to talk to them. In my case, I hear your voice every day that I'm in the school, and if I never wrote to you or prayed to you again, I would still be in constant communication with you. We pay too much attention to what others tell us we should be doing, and not enough attention to the things that feel authentic and real to us.
Oh, well. We all do what we can, right? I suppose the question is whether we're doing the best we can. In any case, I'll try to keep this up now, and perhaps you and I can discuss that very question!
And thanks for your patience with me. It's been a while since I've written any note to you here, as life has gotten quite busy and there have been very important things that have taken priority over a blog in my life. That doesn't mean that I've forgotten you or neglected you, just that you've given me tasks that have been very important, and I've needed my time and effort to be focused on those things. I enjoy what I'm doing, especially my work with the students, but it does require me to be strongly focused, especially during the first month at a new school.
Not writing on this blog definitely doesn't mean that I haven't been thinking about you or trying to do your will. This blog is a nice way of speaking to you directly through the written word, but it is not the only way that you and I have contact, as you well know. I wish you could let other people realize that there are many ways to talk to God, to talk with God, and that if they need to change up their method of communication now and then, that's fine. It's not a crime.
I think too many people spend too much time talking about God instead of talking to God, and then not listening when God tries to talk to them. In my case, I hear your voice every day that I'm in the school, and if I never wrote to you or prayed to you again, I would still be in constant communication with you. We pay too much attention to what others tell us we should be doing, and not enough attention to the things that feel authentic and real to us.
Oh, well. We all do what we can, right? I suppose the question is whether we're doing the best we can. In any case, I'll try to keep this up now, and perhaps you and I can discuss that very question!
Monday, August 27, 2012
School
Good morning, God! And thank you for this new day in my life, for all the opportunities it holds for me to grow and to learn and to love and to give. Now that school's started, I have plenty of chances to do all of those things, don't I? And I do thank you for those opportunities. . . I just ask you that you'll be with me so that I can do the best job I possibly can as a teacher and as a mentor.
When students come into my class for the first time, there's always that uneasiness--is this guy going to be a jerk? Is this class going to be too hard for me to do too well in? Is this guy going to be the kind that mocks me or encourages me? I know that I've had all kinds of "teachers," and what I try to be in the classroom is someone who encourages and who helps, who tries to show the ways to do things, without punishing or penalizing for mistakes that everyone's going to make. I do want to grade realistically, and I want grades to be accurate more than anything else. But I also want them to be fair, and I don't want good grades to be unreachable by students who have average skills but who work very, very hard. All in all, it's a difficult balancing act.
I do want to ask you, as this school year begins, that you be with me in the classroom, that you help me to encourage students and to help them to grow in the most effective ways possible. I ask that you help me to not discourage anyone, and that you help me to keep my eyes open for signs of frustration or discouragement so that I can help those who truly need it. Help me to never lose my temper, and help me to find new ways to present information so that those students who are struggling may be able to understand the concepts and move on with the rest of the students.
Help me to respond to the looks in their eyes, the way they carry themselves, the unasked questions, and the implied frustration. It's a huge responsibility that I have, and I want to make the most of it for the sake of the students, who definitely will need to be able to write and read well in their futures--my only chance to contribute to their futures is right here in the present, and I hope to make the absolute most of it. Thanks in advance!
When students come into my class for the first time, there's always that uneasiness--is this guy going to be a jerk? Is this class going to be too hard for me to do too well in? Is this guy going to be the kind that mocks me or encourages me? I know that I've had all kinds of "teachers," and what I try to be in the classroom is someone who encourages and who helps, who tries to show the ways to do things, without punishing or penalizing for mistakes that everyone's going to make. I do want to grade realistically, and I want grades to be accurate more than anything else. But I also want them to be fair, and I don't want good grades to be unreachable by students who have average skills but who work very, very hard. All in all, it's a difficult balancing act.
I do want to ask you, as this school year begins, that you be with me in the classroom, that you help me to encourage students and to help them to grow in the most effective ways possible. I ask that you help me to not discourage anyone, and that you help me to keep my eyes open for signs of frustration or discouragement so that I can help those who truly need it. Help me to never lose my temper, and help me to find new ways to present information so that those students who are struggling may be able to understand the concepts and move on with the rest of the students.
Help me to respond to the looks in their eyes, the way they carry themselves, the unasked questions, and the implied frustration. It's a huge responsibility that I have, and I want to make the most of it for the sake of the students, who definitely will need to be able to write and read well in their futures--my only chance to contribute to their futures is right here in the present, and I hope to make the absolute most of it. Thanks in advance!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
A Reply
About your words on Sunday. . . the mere fact that you're spending the time to talk to me, to write to me, to think about me before you make many of your decisions means that your faith is in a very good place. Don't worry so much about the strength of your faith, because that, like everything else, is somewhat cyclical. Some days your faith will seem like your strongest asset, while on other days it will seem to be completely depleted like an empty bottle of water when you're in the middle of the desert.
Be careful of other people who use their idea of your faith to judge you. Be careful of people who say things like, "If your faith were stronger, you wouldn't be saying that," or, "All you have to do is have faith and this problem will dissolve like sugar in water."
Remember this: Faith is about your relationship with me, and my relationship with you. It is NOT quantifiable. You cannot put it into a measuring cup or on a scale. It waxes and wanes like the moon, and it is dynamic, not static. You cannot build faith like a building; rather, you develop faith, like a muscle or knowledge.
You CAN trust me. I know that in your background you've known many people whom you cannot trust, but you've also known many more whom you can trust. You can trust me. I don't come crashing through walls like a superhero to take away all your problems, but I do work on them as I work on you and as you work on yourself through prayer and introspection. I help you when you ask for it through yourself, not as an outsider. Let me explain.
I am in you and with you at all times. When you pray to me, you're turning on the power that I provide, the energy to do things and see things clearly and respond well. Sometimes when you feel that you're trusting yourself, you're actually trusting me; likewise, sometimes when you feel that you're trusting me, you're actually trusting yourself. And most important of all, the two are basically the same thing. When you're trusting yourself, you're trusting the strength and potential that I put into you when I created you. When you're trusting me, you're trusting the person that I created with so much love and close attention--yourself.
Two things that I hope you always realize: People are not rewarded more than others because they have stronger faith than others, and people are not punished because their faith is weaker than that of others. It's not a competition. I don't see a person whose faith is strong and say, "Wow, that person is worthy of my special favor." If the person's faith is strong, then the person is setting into motion things that tend to make his or her life more rich and rewarding, what some people refer to as the "Law of Attraction" (I'll get into that one day soon--the focus there can be very damaging for many people). Likewise, I don't see a person whose faith is weak and say, "I'm going to make that person suffer until he or she gets their act together and strengthens their faith." If I did that, how would their faith ever grow? Weak faith is a sign of weak self-trust, and those people need my compassion, not my harsh judgment.
In short, I understand your concerns about your faith. And it's good that you have those concerns, for they keep you focused on something that's good to focus on--your relationship with me and with life. But your faith is fine. Do not judge it--it is what it is. But keep working to develop it, just as you would a muscle or your knowledge of your areas of expertise. Develop it by looking for the positive outcomes in your life, and accepting them and being grateful for them. Develop it by continuing to talk to me and with me. Develop it by watching people of faith and seeing how their lives come together--but note that I'm talking about true people of faith, not necessarily the religious zealot types who go around bragging about the strength of their faith. A person of true faith does no bragging at all. NONE AT ALL. Faith is about relationship with me, and one who uses that relationship as a bragging point is violating that relationship, not strengthening it.
Be careful of other people who use their idea of your faith to judge you. Be careful of people who say things like, "If your faith were stronger, you wouldn't be saying that," or, "All you have to do is have faith and this problem will dissolve like sugar in water."
Remember this: Faith is about your relationship with me, and my relationship with you. It is NOT quantifiable. You cannot put it into a measuring cup or on a scale. It waxes and wanes like the moon, and it is dynamic, not static. You cannot build faith like a building; rather, you develop faith, like a muscle or knowledge.
You CAN trust me. I know that in your background you've known many people whom you cannot trust, but you've also known many more whom you can trust. You can trust me. I don't come crashing through walls like a superhero to take away all your problems, but I do work on them as I work on you and as you work on yourself through prayer and introspection. I help you when you ask for it through yourself, not as an outsider. Let me explain.
I am in you and with you at all times. When you pray to me, you're turning on the power that I provide, the energy to do things and see things clearly and respond well. Sometimes when you feel that you're trusting yourself, you're actually trusting me; likewise, sometimes when you feel that you're trusting me, you're actually trusting yourself. And most important of all, the two are basically the same thing. When you're trusting yourself, you're trusting the strength and potential that I put into you when I created you. When you're trusting me, you're trusting the person that I created with so much love and close attention--yourself.
Two things that I hope you always realize: People are not rewarded more than others because they have stronger faith than others, and people are not punished because their faith is weaker than that of others. It's not a competition. I don't see a person whose faith is strong and say, "Wow, that person is worthy of my special favor." If the person's faith is strong, then the person is setting into motion things that tend to make his or her life more rich and rewarding, what some people refer to as the "Law of Attraction" (I'll get into that one day soon--the focus there can be very damaging for many people). Likewise, I don't see a person whose faith is weak and say, "I'm going to make that person suffer until he or she gets their act together and strengthens their faith." If I did that, how would their faith ever grow? Weak faith is a sign of weak self-trust, and those people need my compassion, not my harsh judgment.
In short, I understand your concerns about your faith. And it's good that you have those concerns, for they keep you focused on something that's good to focus on--your relationship with me and with life. But your faith is fine. Do not judge it--it is what it is. But keep working to develop it, just as you would a muscle or your knowledge of your areas of expertise. Develop it by looking for the positive outcomes in your life, and accepting them and being grateful for them. Develop it by continuing to talk to me and with me. Develop it by watching people of faith and seeing how their lives come together--but note that I'm talking about true people of faith, not necessarily the religious zealot types who go around bragging about the strength of their faith. A person of true faith does no bragging at all. NONE AT ALL. Faith is about relationship with me, and one who uses that relationship as a bragging point is violating that relationship, not strengthening it.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
My Faith
Good morning, God. I thank you for this new day, full of potential and possibility, in a world where I've experienced a great deal, and where I've shared a great deal with many wonderful people. Life is full of amazing things, and it really is up to us to make the most of them--which I certainly don't do all the time.
If I had to point to one element of myself that keeps me from getting the most out of life all the time, I'd have to point to my faith. Perhaps it's because my faith isn't strong enough, or perhaps it's because I neglect it more than I tap into it. But when things get difficult or start going wrong, it's very easy for me to get stressed, to start to feel a sense of hopelessness or even despair. It sometimes takes me a while to reach the realization that those feelings are misplaced--that things really are fine, and that I just have some obstacles that I have to take care of as I move on in life. Those obstacles don't define me, though they may limit me; they don't define my life, though they may complicate it.
But for so long I've struggled with my faith--my whole life long, to be honest. I've always felt that I've been caught in a Catch-22, that so many things were going wrong in life (my dad's alcoholism, my depression, my lack of meaningful relationships, among many other things) because my faith was weak, but that my faith couldn't go strong because so many things were going wrong in life. It was a horrible feeling, one of being trapped on a treadmill that I had to keep running on, even though I didn't want to and even though I was going nowhere.
As I've grown older, though, and hopefully even a bit wiser, I've come to realize that the faith is one of the major determiners of how my life turns out. I used to see faith as a result of my conditions, rather than seeing my conditions as a result of my faith. It's been a very difficult turnaround to make, and I would like to ask you for some advice on how to do so. I do want to turn it around, and I hope that you're able to give me some words of wisdom that will help me to strengthen my faith, to make it a much more central focal point that I can use as a point of reference rather than as a peripheral element of my life. Could you help me out on this?
If I had to point to one element of myself that keeps me from getting the most out of life all the time, I'd have to point to my faith. Perhaps it's because my faith isn't strong enough, or perhaps it's because I neglect it more than I tap into it. But when things get difficult or start going wrong, it's very easy for me to get stressed, to start to feel a sense of hopelessness or even despair. It sometimes takes me a while to reach the realization that those feelings are misplaced--that things really are fine, and that I just have some obstacles that I have to take care of as I move on in life. Those obstacles don't define me, though they may limit me; they don't define my life, though they may complicate it.
But for so long I've struggled with my faith--my whole life long, to be honest. I've always felt that I've been caught in a Catch-22, that so many things were going wrong in life (my dad's alcoholism, my depression, my lack of meaningful relationships, among many other things) because my faith was weak, but that my faith couldn't go strong because so many things were going wrong in life. It was a horrible feeling, one of being trapped on a treadmill that I had to keep running on, even though I didn't want to and even though I was going nowhere.
As I've grown older, though, and hopefully even a bit wiser, I've come to realize that the faith is one of the major determiners of how my life turns out. I used to see faith as a result of my conditions, rather than seeing my conditions as a result of my faith. It's been a very difficult turnaround to make, and I would like to ask you for some advice on how to do so. I do want to turn it around, and I hope that you're able to give me some words of wisdom that will help me to strengthen my faith, to make it a much more central focal point that I can use as a point of reference rather than as a peripheral element of my life. Could you help me out on this?
Friday, August 10, 2012
Dealing
Hello, God, and thank you for being here. Thank you for all that I have today, from the food and the shelter to the computer and the books to read. I do appreciate it all, and I hope that somehow, in some way, I'm expressing that appreciation effectively.
I have a couple of questions to ask of you today. Life has been very challenging for my wife and me over the last few years, and it's difficult sometimes not to get caught up in the negative aspects of all that's happened to us, all that's gone wrong. It started with a layoff three years ago, and we're still going through the negative effects of that, as a phone call two nights ago demonstrated. In the midst of the struggles, though, we're doing our best to make the most of what we have, and not to spend time worrying and complaining. But what happens to me very often is that I do get caught up in the worrying, and I do spend time fixated on the problems, which ends up being time lost. I know that I have to admit that the problems are there, and I have to face them, but how can I keep from letting them take me over, from allowing them to change my mood, from having them change the way I act?
We aren't going to die because of these problems, obviously, but they are sometimes almost overwhelming, and I know that with all the goodness in the world, I shouldn't be overwhelmed by the bad.
An answer:
I think that you've kind of answered your own question here, as so many people are able to do once they start talking to me. You have a choice as to what overwhelms you--the good or the bad, the evil or the pure, the stressful or the relaxing. Things do pile up, and they do get to be difficult, but their importance is a matter of your choice. It is very important to pay bills and fulfill responsibilities, but you can only do so to the best of your abilities. Once you've done that--and truly have done so to the best of your abilities--then it's time to focus your attention on other things. When someone tries to bring your attention back to the problem, then say simply, "I've truly done everything I can at this moment about that situation, and no amount of talking or explaining is going to allow me to do more." Then end that conversation.
I've also provided you many, many resources that can help you through difficult times. Do you remember when you were in graduate school, doing two degrees simultaneously? (Good job, by the way--two M.A.'s in two years, with only one "B"? Extraordinary, and not a single person on the planet has told you that yet. But that's okay--you know it and I know it.) What did you use then? Each afternoon you were able to watch Animaniacs and Tiny Toon Adventures, and you were able to laugh. A lot. Those were great resources for you, for the laughter helped you to cope with the stress and even the depression you were going through then. And even more than that, you had something to focus on for an hour each day that wasn't your school work.
You do have many more such resources available to you now. Instead of focusing on the problem--except in those moments when you're working on solving it--focus on something else, such as a project you're doing, work that needs to be done, a funny or suspenseful show. Don't use such things to avoid facing problems, but allow them to keep your mind focused on the positive things.
This is more important than you'll know, and I'll end with the reason: Your mind helps to create your reality. If you fixate on problems, you invite more problems into your life. If you fixate on pleasant and fun things, you invite more pleasure and fun into your life. This is a simple rule of life that many people have shared with you in many ways, and it's important that you live according to this rule, and stop inviting the negative things into your life. In many ways, it really is up to you. All of it.
I have a couple of questions to ask of you today. Life has been very challenging for my wife and me over the last few years, and it's difficult sometimes not to get caught up in the negative aspects of all that's happened to us, all that's gone wrong. It started with a layoff three years ago, and we're still going through the negative effects of that, as a phone call two nights ago demonstrated. In the midst of the struggles, though, we're doing our best to make the most of what we have, and not to spend time worrying and complaining. But what happens to me very often is that I do get caught up in the worrying, and I do spend time fixated on the problems, which ends up being time lost. I know that I have to admit that the problems are there, and I have to face them, but how can I keep from letting them take me over, from allowing them to change my mood, from having them change the way I act?
We aren't going to die because of these problems, obviously, but they are sometimes almost overwhelming, and I know that with all the goodness in the world, I shouldn't be overwhelmed by the bad.
An answer:
I think that you've kind of answered your own question here, as so many people are able to do once they start talking to me. You have a choice as to what overwhelms you--the good or the bad, the evil or the pure, the stressful or the relaxing. Things do pile up, and they do get to be difficult, but their importance is a matter of your choice. It is very important to pay bills and fulfill responsibilities, but you can only do so to the best of your abilities. Once you've done that--and truly have done so to the best of your abilities--then it's time to focus your attention on other things. When someone tries to bring your attention back to the problem, then say simply, "I've truly done everything I can at this moment about that situation, and no amount of talking or explaining is going to allow me to do more." Then end that conversation.
I've also provided you many, many resources that can help you through difficult times. Do you remember when you were in graduate school, doing two degrees simultaneously? (Good job, by the way--two M.A.'s in two years, with only one "B"? Extraordinary, and not a single person on the planet has told you that yet. But that's okay--you know it and I know it.) What did you use then? Each afternoon you were able to watch Animaniacs and Tiny Toon Adventures, and you were able to laugh. A lot. Those were great resources for you, for the laughter helped you to cope with the stress and even the depression you were going through then. And even more than that, you had something to focus on for an hour each day that wasn't your school work.
You do have many more such resources available to you now. Instead of focusing on the problem--except in those moments when you're working on solving it--focus on something else, such as a project you're doing, work that needs to be done, a funny or suspenseful show. Don't use such things to avoid facing problems, but allow them to keep your mind focused on the positive things.
This is more important than you'll know, and I'll end with the reason: Your mind helps to create your reality. If you fixate on problems, you invite more problems into your life. If you fixate on pleasant and fun things, you invite more pleasure and fun into your life. This is a simple rule of life that many people have shared with you in many ways, and it's important that you live according to this rule, and stop inviting the negative things into your life. In many ways, it really is up to you. All of it.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
A reply. . . .
Purpose? Of course you have purpose, and it's within you all the time. And it isn't just in one area--within you are a variety of talents and abilities that allow you to define your purpose as you will, that will allow you to change your purpose as you go through life and find your situations changing. One who has a purpose of teaching young children may change his or her purpose to become a full-time parent; and once that job is no longer a full-time duty, do you think that I want someone to be suddenly purposeless in life? Not at all--that person has other skills and talents to draw on to change his or her purpose, perhaps becoming a doctor or counselor or a waiter or waitress.
I think that too often you as humans over-intellectualize what it means to have a purpose. Any time you are serving other human beings, you are fulfilling a purpose. No one should trivialize any other person's service at all--every form of service is vital, and every form is important. People need to eat, and sometimes time spent in a restaurant is more full of true communication than time spent at home. The wait staff, the cooks, the bus staff, the managers--all are fulfilling an important purpose.
The shame of it is that with all your thinking about purpose, sometimes you give only half an effort to the job you're doing now because you're thinking about another job that you'd prefer to be doing, or you feel that the job you're doing now is beneath you.
But no job is beneath anyone, as long as service is being fulfilled. Likewise, no job is above anyone, as long as someone is willing to work to reach it.
Not every person is well designed for every purpose. Not everyone can become a doctor. Not everyone can make a living and perform service as an artist. But all of you can serve a vital purpose, as long as you trust me to have given you the skills that you need, and as long as you trust yourself to do your best at all that you do. Your purposes are within you, and they're covered up just like everything else by all the peripheral information and behaviors that you've learned since your birth. Your goal is to uncover your purpose by uncovering your talents and developing them, not just letting them lie stagnant.
Purpose? You have many, and they all involve the roles you fill. You are son and daughter, brother and sister, mother and father, friend and lover, worker and leader, role model and learner. Once you have in mind your various purposes, then you can work towards fulfilling those purposes in a way that will strengthen you, develop you, and help you to grow into the person you were meant to be. Don't try to take on too many purposes, for some that you take on will not be authentic to you, but don't be afraid to take on a purpose that frightens you, for there you will find the most growth and learning.
I think that too often you as humans over-intellectualize what it means to have a purpose. Any time you are serving other human beings, you are fulfilling a purpose. No one should trivialize any other person's service at all--every form of service is vital, and every form is important. People need to eat, and sometimes time spent in a restaurant is more full of true communication than time spent at home. The wait staff, the cooks, the bus staff, the managers--all are fulfilling an important purpose.
The shame of it is that with all your thinking about purpose, sometimes you give only half an effort to the job you're doing now because you're thinking about another job that you'd prefer to be doing, or you feel that the job you're doing now is beneath you.
But no job is beneath anyone, as long as service is being fulfilled. Likewise, no job is above anyone, as long as someone is willing to work to reach it.
Not every person is well designed for every purpose. Not everyone can become a doctor. Not everyone can make a living and perform service as an artist. But all of you can serve a vital purpose, as long as you trust me to have given you the skills that you need, and as long as you trust yourself to do your best at all that you do. Your purposes are within you, and they're covered up just like everything else by all the peripheral information and behaviors that you've learned since your birth. Your goal is to uncover your purpose by uncovering your talents and developing them, not just letting them lie stagnant.
Purpose? You have many, and they all involve the roles you fill. You are son and daughter, brother and sister, mother and father, friend and lover, worker and leader, role model and learner. Once you have in mind your various purposes, then you can work towards fulfilling those purposes in a way that will strengthen you, develop you, and help you to grow into the person you were meant to be. Don't try to take on too many purposes, for some that you take on will not be authentic to you, but don't be afraid to take on a purpose that frightens you, for there you will find the most growth and learning.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Purpose
Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day! I really do appreciate the chance to live through another day in the life, another set of hours full of possibility and potential. On this particular day, my mind is on purpose--and I'm wondering, what is my purpose? Do I really have one? Is what I do on this planet working towards any sort of ultimate goal, or are all my actions random and scattered and bound to sink into oblivion, completely forgotten by all?
My hunch is that purpose is something that we can't be entirely aware of. I feel that there really isn't a definite purpose that we can point a finger at ("your purpose is to plant this tree"), but something far less clearly defined, something that we only get hints of while we're here. But I do have evidence that there actually may be a clear, well-defined purpose for us all--after all, I do see very positive and fulfilling feedback on my teaching and my work on the websites that I have done. I see people feeling better about themselves and their abilities, and I see growth in them.
Could you tell me what my purpose is? Probably not--you're not going to come out and just say something like that. It really has to be my task to uncover my purpose from among all the other things that are going on in my life. Otherwise, it would be really impossible for me to value it as much, wouldn't it?
But here's a problem--sometimes I get so caught up in other things that are going on in my life that I get sidetracked, and I no longer find myself looking for my purpose, or contributing to that purpose. Perhaps you could help me to find out how to avoid getting sidetracked? Perhaps you could let me know when I am sidetracked?
There is a lot of mystery in life, and I'm fine with that. I can't help but think, though, that knowing my purpose--or purposes--in this life might make it easier for me to stick to trying to accomplish them, and actually doing so. If you can give me any help in this regard, I really would appreciate it!
My hunch is that purpose is something that we can't be entirely aware of. I feel that there really isn't a definite purpose that we can point a finger at ("your purpose is to plant this tree"), but something far less clearly defined, something that we only get hints of while we're here. But I do have evidence that there actually may be a clear, well-defined purpose for us all--after all, I do see very positive and fulfilling feedback on my teaching and my work on the websites that I have done. I see people feeling better about themselves and their abilities, and I see growth in them.
Could you tell me what my purpose is? Probably not--you're not going to come out and just say something like that. It really has to be my task to uncover my purpose from among all the other things that are going on in my life. Otherwise, it would be really impossible for me to value it as much, wouldn't it?
But here's a problem--sometimes I get so caught up in other things that are going on in my life that I get sidetracked, and I no longer find myself looking for my purpose, or contributing to that purpose. Perhaps you could help me to find out how to avoid getting sidetracked? Perhaps you could let me know when I am sidetracked?
There is a lot of mystery in life, and I'm fine with that. I can't help but think, though, that knowing my purpose--or purposes--in this life might make it easier for me to stick to trying to accomplish them, and actually doing so. If you can give me any help in this regard, I really would appreciate it!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Letting Go of Results
You know, God, one thing that I definitely could use help with is the ability to let go of results. I think that I'm pretty good at it--much better than most people I know--but I still do have a sort of inner need to see quantifiable results of work that I've done or activities that I've taken on. Sometimes I get caught up in checking on results on progress many times a day, when I should be able to simply let go and not keep checking. After all, checking doesn't do a thing in my situation; if checking meant that I could make some changes, then it might have some benefit.
What is is that makes me want to know results so often? Is it just curiosity (as I tell myself to justify my actions), or is there more to it? When I go on vacation and I'm not able to check results of things, I'm fine. When I'm at home and able to do so, then I do check, and it wastes a lot of time and sometimes adds quite a bit of stress to my life if the results aren't what I was hoping for.
I know that part of the problem lies in a fundamental lack of trust--in you, in myself, in the work that I've done and the actions I've taken. I really, really want to reach a point at which I trust you completely, and even though I'm much closer to that now than I was twenty years ago, for example, I'm still far, far away from it in my own eyes. Too many obstacles continue to surface and hold me back, and that could be partly because I'm trying to control situations myself instead of letting them work out how they should be.
So how can I trust you more? I can't ask you for some sort of sign--a lot of "religious" people say that it's fine to ask for signs, but that just feels completely wrong to me--and what I've seen so far doesn't really help me. When I work as long and as hard as I've worked and I still see others succeeding much more than I succeed, it does make me wonder where my trust should be placed, or if my trust is merited. I feel that it is, but I don't want to put you to the test at all, but I also don't want to keep on keeping on with the levels of frustration that I've been dealing with. How can I move forward? What can I do--especially specifically? I'll be listening and trying to hear your answers. . . .
What is is that makes me want to know results so often? Is it just curiosity (as I tell myself to justify my actions), or is there more to it? When I go on vacation and I'm not able to check results of things, I'm fine. When I'm at home and able to do so, then I do check, and it wastes a lot of time and sometimes adds quite a bit of stress to my life if the results aren't what I was hoping for.
I know that part of the problem lies in a fundamental lack of trust--in you, in myself, in the work that I've done and the actions I've taken. I really, really want to reach a point at which I trust you completely, and even though I'm much closer to that now than I was twenty years ago, for example, I'm still far, far away from it in my own eyes. Too many obstacles continue to surface and hold me back, and that could be partly because I'm trying to control situations myself instead of letting them work out how they should be.
So how can I trust you more? I can't ask you for some sort of sign--a lot of "religious" people say that it's fine to ask for signs, but that just feels completely wrong to me--and what I've seen so far doesn't really help me. When I work as long and as hard as I've worked and I still see others succeeding much more than I succeed, it does make me wonder where my trust should be placed, or if my trust is merited. I feel that it is, but I don't want to put you to the test at all, but I also don't want to keep on keeping on with the levels of frustration that I've been dealing with. How can I move forward? What can I do--especially specifically? I'll be listening and trying to hear your answers. . . .
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Change
Good morning, God--it's been a while, hasn't it? And that "while" has included a move to a new town, over 6,000 miles of driving to go visit family and friends, setting up a new house and getting things organized, getting ready to start a new job, and all sorts of other things that have kept me busy and focused in different directions. Not away from you, so much, as away from writing to you. And I suppose that in some sense, those two concepts are similar to each other.
Whenever we go through significant changes like the one we're going through now, I know that it's important to stay grounded in something that's long-lasting, permanent even. With that in mind, it seems fairly obvious that continuing to write to you here would be a great way to stay focused and to keep my mind on things of eternity rather than things of here and now. However, that hasn't happened. It's not like I've lost my faith or turned my back on you, just that so many other things have demanded my attention that it's been difficult to find time to sit down and do something like this.
And that, I believe, is one of the biggest problems that I face. Change is a constant in my life--I don't believe in stagnation or beating dead horses--and because of that, my mind is constantly caught up in what I need to do to make things work in new and different ways. This is a problem because it gets me to put you lower on my list of priorities, which causes me to have much less contact with you on a personal level. And I need that contact.
Many people have pointed out just how important daily prayer is, daily contact with God, no matter what the level. All people pray differently, of course, and writing to you is easily my most effective method of praying. It gets me focused on you, on something outside of the daily grind, something eternal as opposed to something fleeting.
I don't think it upsets you when I don't write, or even when I don't pray. You know who I am, and you know the struggles I go through and the victories I win, and you're not a God who gets upset--because we all know that getting upset is pretty petty and does no good, and who would accuse you of being a petty god? Not me!
So with this letter, I reestablish contact. I thank you for the safe travels, both in our move and our visits back east. I thank you for a comfortable place to live and the food we have to eat. I thank you for the great relationship with my great wife, who is very supportive and very flexible, and who has been willing to make the moves that have been necessary. I thank you for the people in our lives, and the job that I found that brought us here. And I thank you for life, and for the chance to live here on this amazing world of yours.
Whenever we go through significant changes like the one we're going through now, I know that it's important to stay grounded in something that's long-lasting, permanent even. With that in mind, it seems fairly obvious that continuing to write to you here would be a great way to stay focused and to keep my mind on things of eternity rather than things of here and now. However, that hasn't happened. It's not like I've lost my faith or turned my back on you, just that so many other things have demanded my attention that it's been difficult to find time to sit down and do something like this.
And that, I believe, is one of the biggest problems that I face. Change is a constant in my life--I don't believe in stagnation or beating dead horses--and because of that, my mind is constantly caught up in what I need to do to make things work in new and different ways. This is a problem because it gets me to put you lower on my list of priorities, which causes me to have much less contact with you on a personal level. And I need that contact.
Many people have pointed out just how important daily prayer is, daily contact with God, no matter what the level. All people pray differently, of course, and writing to you is easily my most effective method of praying. It gets me focused on you, on something outside of the daily grind, something eternal as opposed to something fleeting.
I don't think it upsets you when I don't write, or even when I don't pray. You know who I am, and you know the struggles I go through and the victories I win, and you're not a God who gets upset--because we all know that getting upset is pretty petty and does no good, and who would accuse you of being a petty god? Not me!
So with this letter, I reestablish contact. I thank you for the safe travels, both in our move and our visits back east. I thank you for a comfortable place to live and the food we have to eat. I thank you for the great relationship with my great wife, who is very supportive and very flexible, and who has been willing to make the moves that have been necessary. I thank you for the people in our lives, and the job that I found that brought us here. And I thank you for life, and for the chance to live here on this amazing world of yours.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Endings and Beginnings
Good morning, God--thanks for this beautiful new day that's in our lives. I really do appreciate the opportunity to live, to laugh, to love, to hope, to hear music and see the sky and clouds and flowers and such. And I appreciate the fact that I get to spend much of the day with the students and other teachers with whom I work; as tomorrow will be my last day with them, today and tomorrow will be rather bittersweet as the relationships will come to an end as the job comes to an end.
I do have to ask, God, why so many changes? Why couldn't this job have continued? Why couldn't Terry and I have thrived here so that we wouldn't have to be moving again? It certainly would have been a nice place for us to live, and I could have continued to work with the kids here to bring them to a really high level in English. In some ways, it seems like the effort that I've made here has been wasted, and that by leaving I'm leaving the kids in a bad situation. But staying simply wasn't possible, so I was in a situation that had no simple answer, no clear way to deal with it. Both my wife and I believe that we're doing the right thing, but of course, we'll never know how things would have worked out had we ended up staying rather than leaving. And we're both looking forward to starting over again in a place that seems more supportive, and that definitely will be more affordable.
God's answer:
First of all, staying was possible. You could have chosen to remain where you are, teaching the same classes to the same students for as long as you would have liked. The question is whether or not it would have been worth the frustration and aggravation that you most definitely would have felt working in the same situation for longer than you have. As you know, tigers don't change their stripes, and the people you work with who are doing their jobs poorly would have continued to do their jobs poorly, and you would have continued to be frustrated with the low quality of the education at your school. Staying was possible, but it wasn't what was best for you or for the students.
You're moving because that's what's best for both you and your wife right now. And believe it or not, you're leaving the school because that's what's best for the school right now. I'm not going to go through an entire explanation of the why's and how's, for reasons such as these make themselves clear through time, and there's a good chance that you'll never see the reasons from the school's perspective. You don't need to. You just need to trust that this situation has come about because there is a need for change, and that change would not have happened if the status quo had been allowed to continue on. And no, you're not some sort of sacrificial lamb that had to leave his job for things to happen--this change is for your benefit, also. There are things that you need to learn and experience that you could not have learned and experienced where you are now.
And the effort that you make never is wasted. It may touch just one or two students (though I assure you it's more than that), but the ones that you touch will soon touch others, and they others, until the ripple that you started spreads out and touches the world. Life is that way, and it always has been that way. Think about how many good teachers you've had whose methods and ideas you now use in order to reach your students, and you'll have an idea of the effect that you may be having on your students. No form of giving can be wasted effort.
You've learned here. But the lessons that you need to learn to continue growing cannot be learned here, so you're moving on. You'll miss the people here, but you'll meet new people. Just trust that all that you're doing has purposes that you can't always know, and things will be fine. . . and you'll continue to grow and learn.
I do have to ask, God, why so many changes? Why couldn't this job have continued? Why couldn't Terry and I have thrived here so that we wouldn't have to be moving again? It certainly would have been a nice place for us to live, and I could have continued to work with the kids here to bring them to a really high level in English. In some ways, it seems like the effort that I've made here has been wasted, and that by leaving I'm leaving the kids in a bad situation. But staying simply wasn't possible, so I was in a situation that had no simple answer, no clear way to deal with it. Both my wife and I believe that we're doing the right thing, but of course, we'll never know how things would have worked out had we ended up staying rather than leaving. And we're both looking forward to starting over again in a place that seems more supportive, and that definitely will be more affordable.
God's answer:
First of all, staying was possible. You could have chosen to remain where you are, teaching the same classes to the same students for as long as you would have liked. The question is whether or not it would have been worth the frustration and aggravation that you most definitely would have felt working in the same situation for longer than you have. As you know, tigers don't change their stripes, and the people you work with who are doing their jobs poorly would have continued to do their jobs poorly, and you would have continued to be frustrated with the low quality of the education at your school. Staying was possible, but it wasn't what was best for you or for the students.
You're moving because that's what's best for both you and your wife right now. And believe it or not, you're leaving the school because that's what's best for the school right now. I'm not going to go through an entire explanation of the why's and how's, for reasons such as these make themselves clear through time, and there's a good chance that you'll never see the reasons from the school's perspective. You don't need to. You just need to trust that this situation has come about because there is a need for change, and that change would not have happened if the status quo had been allowed to continue on. And no, you're not some sort of sacrificial lamb that had to leave his job for things to happen--this change is for your benefit, also. There are things that you need to learn and experience that you could not have learned and experienced where you are now.
And the effort that you make never is wasted. It may touch just one or two students (though I assure you it's more than that), but the ones that you touch will soon touch others, and they others, until the ripple that you started spreads out and touches the world. Life is that way, and it always has been that way. Think about how many good teachers you've had whose methods and ideas you now use in order to reach your students, and you'll have an idea of the effect that you may be having on your students. No form of giving can be wasted effort.
You've learned here. But the lessons that you need to learn to continue growing cannot be learned here, so you're moving on. You'll miss the people here, but you'll meet new people. Just trust that all that you're doing has purposes that you can't always know, and things will be fine. . . and you'll continue to grow and learn.
Friday, June 8, 2012
No Answer Yet. . . or?
Good morning, God, and thanks for this new day. Thank you for the sky and the trees and the sunshine and the possibilities that this day brings to us. Thank you for the work that we have and the opportunity to start over again.
I have been trying to listen over the last few days, but perhaps I've been too busy to hear what you've told me. Or perhaps you're waiting to give me an answer or two. Or maybe you've told me and I've heard you, but I haven't recognized the answer(s). In any case, I don't feel that I know any sort of answer, though I do feel that I feel some of the answers--does that make sense? In other words, there are answers in my intuition, but not in the logical portions of my brain.
I think that first of all, you've told me that we have to believe fully that the recovery will happen, and will happen earlier than I expected. We have to have faith in you, faith in the idea that you want the best for us.
And that's where one of the conflicts arises. I know that sometimes the best thing for people is to face periods of austerity so that we'll appreciate more strongly the periods of plenty--and how do I tell whether our current austerity is due to poor planning on our part or great planning on your part? If I ask to be delivered from the lean times when the lean times are actually what's best, what then? Well, obviously you aren't going to deliver me from them, which means that it will look like our prayers aren't being answered, which will make it more difficult to have faith in the power of prayer.
Oh, boy.
Here's a suggestion--just have me win the lottery or something. Yeah, I know. . . I don't buy lottery tickets, so I can't win the lottery. How about if you just give me some sort of sign that things will be okay? Again, I know. . . we've already gotten plenty of such signs. But the signs are always that things are going to be okay, and almost never this is the first step towards things being okay. That makes it a bit difficult to have faith in the future--the kind of faith in the future that allows us to relax fully and enjoy this day.
Okay, enough rambling, I guess. I just want to tell you some of the things that are going on in my mind, some of the things with which I'm having difficulties. We'll do all we can to make things work, but we'll also trust in you and in life and in the unity of all your creation that things will work out, and work out well. We'll trust that we will soon be blessed with an abundance that we really haven't even been able to imagine, and we'll be very grateful for that abundance, even now when we haven't yet seen it as part of our lives.
And we thank you beforehand for all the blessings.
I have been trying to listen over the last few days, but perhaps I've been too busy to hear what you've told me. Or perhaps you're waiting to give me an answer or two. Or maybe you've told me and I've heard you, but I haven't recognized the answer(s). In any case, I don't feel that I know any sort of answer, though I do feel that I feel some of the answers--does that make sense? In other words, there are answers in my intuition, but not in the logical portions of my brain.
I think that first of all, you've told me that we have to believe fully that the recovery will happen, and will happen earlier than I expected. We have to have faith in you, faith in the idea that you want the best for us.
And that's where one of the conflicts arises. I know that sometimes the best thing for people is to face periods of austerity so that we'll appreciate more strongly the periods of plenty--and how do I tell whether our current austerity is due to poor planning on our part or great planning on your part? If I ask to be delivered from the lean times when the lean times are actually what's best, what then? Well, obviously you aren't going to deliver me from them, which means that it will look like our prayers aren't being answered, which will make it more difficult to have faith in the power of prayer.
Oh, boy.
Here's a suggestion--just have me win the lottery or something. Yeah, I know. . . I don't buy lottery tickets, so I can't win the lottery. How about if you just give me some sort of sign that things will be okay? Again, I know. . . we've already gotten plenty of such signs. But the signs are always that things are going to be okay, and almost never this is the first step towards things being okay. That makes it a bit difficult to have faith in the future--the kind of faith in the future that allows us to relax fully and enjoy this day.
Okay, enough rambling, I guess. I just want to tell you some of the things that are going on in my mind, some of the things with which I'm having difficulties. We'll do all we can to make things work, but we'll also trust in you and in life and in the unity of all your creation that things will work out, and work out well. We'll trust that we will soon be blessed with an abundance that we really haven't even been able to imagine, and we'll be very grateful for that abundance, even now when we haven't yet seen it as part of our lives.
And we thank you beforehand for all the blessings.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Getting Ahead?
Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day in my life. The next hours are filled with potential and possibility, and I'm grateful for the chance to live another day in this world, to be able to give and to receive and to laugh and love and feel. . . .
These days find my wife and me on the verge of a huge change, but also still caught up in the financial maelstrom that started three years ago when I was laid off. The last two years of my wife not being able to find work haven't helped, of course, but that's neither here nor there. No matter what, we are where we are, we are trying our best to resolve the situation--and we seem to be treading water, still unable to catch up with the bills and the responsibilities and the debt that came to us as a result of the layoff.
So what can we do, God? How can we start changing things and turning things around? The main reason for which we're making the move is that our current situation isn't at all helpful to us, and we need to change it. The fear that we both share, though, is that our next situation will be just as negative, especially with the possibility of my wife finding work. What will we do if she doesn't? How will we ever get ahead, and how will we ever prepare ourselves for retirement?
I know that we're not the only people facing these problems. I know that there are millions of people out there who have things much worse than we have them. But that doesn't keep me from searching for answers, from asking for guidance, from trying to turn things around. And I know that we're very blessed with the things that we do have--it's not a question of a lack of gratitude or of taking things for granted. It's simply that it's very hard to live this way, and we both want to turn our financial situation around so that we can get ahead and actually help others for a change. Could you please tell me what's up with this, or give me some guidance as far as what we might do to improve things? I'll be listening for an answer, and I'll try to write it down here tomorrow. . . .
These days find my wife and me on the verge of a huge change, but also still caught up in the financial maelstrom that started three years ago when I was laid off. The last two years of my wife not being able to find work haven't helped, of course, but that's neither here nor there. No matter what, we are where we are, we are trying our best to resolve the situation--and we seem to be treading water, still unable to catch up with the bills and the responsibilities and the debt that came to us as a result of the layoff.
So what can we do, God? How can we start changing things and turning things around? The main reason for which we're making the move is that our current situation isn't at all helpful to us, and we need to change it. The fear that we both share, though, is that our next situation will be just as negative, especially with the possibility of my wife finding work. What will we do if she doesn't? How will we ever get ahead, and how will we ever prepare ourselves for retirement?
I know that we're not the only people facing these problems. I know that there are millions of people out there who have things much worse than we have them. But that doesn't keep me from searching for answers, from asking for guidance, from trying to turn things around. And I know that we're very blessed with the things that we do have--it's not a question of a lack of gratitude or of taking things for granted. It's simply that it's very hard to live this way, and we both want to turn our financial situation around so that we can get ahead and actually help others for a change. Could you please tell me what's up with this, or give me some guidance as far as what we might do to improve things? I'll be listening for an answer, and I'll try to write it down here tomorrow. . . .
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Just to Talk
Sometimes, God, I just need to talk. With someone, with anyone. Talking is how I best clarify things in my life, how I best deal with problems and figure out ways to handle them. I like talking to you, but I do wonder often if you hear, if you care. After all, I'm just me, and there are so many others on the planet. And it's not that I feel unworthy, or that you'd put me low on your list of priorities, but that it just seems like there has to be some sort of limit to the number of actual messages you can hear, thoughts you can receive. How much water can go through a gate of a certain size? The rest of the water backs up in a flood, and only some of the water actually gets through. I see prayers like that, and I see my talks with you like that. There are so many others who need so much more than I. . . why would I be high on your list of priorities?
God's reply:
That's a good analogy for a common misperception of the nature of God. That there's a gate that has to be gotten through in order for a prayer to be heard. The simple fact is that you might better think of me as a black hole, one that sucks in virtually everything that is sent its way, but in a much more positive way. And prayer sent my way, and if you understand my nature, then you understand how.
Remember that I am in you. That fact alone makes it virtually impossible for one of your prayers to miss me. If you write a letter to a friend and put it into an envelope and mail it without letting your wife read it, then that message can leave your home without her knowing its contents. But prayers aren't like that. The prayer is your attempt to figure out just what you need in life and put it into words--as you said yourself, to clarify things. Even in your attempt to come up with the words of your prayer, I see and understand the turmoil that you're going through, the difficulties that you face, the problems that are causing you stress and pain and sleepless nights.
Part of what makes you feel that I don't hear your prayers is the fact that you don't immediately see results. You don't see answers, and you think you should. You've read so many stories of people who need money and who pray for it and then get an unexpected check in the mail for just the amount they need, that when something similar doesn't happen to you, you feel that your prayers haven't been answered. And since you know that I've promised to answer all prayers, then logic tells you that I never heard your prayer in the first place. But I have.
If a traveler in the desert prays for relief, the easy answer would be to move that person out of the desert into an oasis. But that's not how life works, and that's not how I work--the most important thing that person can do is to finish the journey, for it's in the completion of the journey that character is built, that important lessons are learned. It's in dealing with financial problems that important lessons about character and life are learned, not in being delivered from those problems with lottery winnings or the death of a wealthy relative who has named you in his or her will.
So keep on talking to me, for one of the most important ways that those lessons are learned is in the process of putting into words the needs you have. Most people, for example, find the lack of money much easier to deal with than the worry for the future that they have because of the lack of money. Through reflection and prayer, they realize that it's more important that I help them with that worry than that I deliver them from financial problems. When you seriously consider your problems and the stress in your life, you'll almost always find that the seeds of the resolutions to your problems are within you, and that you can start their growth by recognizing them, honoring them, and nourishing them. And please keep talking to me because I love to hear from you and of you. Your prayers will be answered, but not in the ways you want, for I can see ways that will be much more beneficial, even if they're much more difficult. And they won't be answered according to your timeline, but to mine, for I can see a timeline that you can't yet imagine, for you don't know anything of the elements that need to fall in place for the prayer to be answered--perhaps a certain person will be out of town until next Thursday, and for your prayer to be answered in the best way possible, that person simply must be present.
You, just like everyone else, are doing fine. You have difficulties, and you do your best to deal with them in healthy and productive ways. Please keep me in the loop. I do hear you, always. And I do love you, always. And I do answer your prayers, always.
God's reply:
That's a good analogy for a common misperception of the nature of God. That there's a gate that has to be gotten through in order for a prayer to be heard. The simple fact is that you might better think of me as a black hole, one that sucks in virtually everything that is sent its way, but in a much more positive way. And prayer sent my way, and if you understand my nature, then you understand how.
Remember that I am in you. That fact alone makes it virtually impossible for one of your prayers to miss me. If you write a letter to a friend and put it into an envelope and mail it without letting your wife read it, then that message can leave your home without her knowing its contents. But prayers aren't like that. The prayer is your attempt to figure out just what you need in life and put it into words--as you said yourself, to clarify things. Even in your attempt to come up with the words of your prayer, I see and understand the turmoil that you're going through, the difficulties that you face, the problems that are causing you stress and pain and sleepless nights.
Part of what makes you feel that I don't hear your prayers is the fact that you don't immediately see results. You don't see answers, and you think you should. You've read so many stories of people who need money and who pray for it and then get an unexpected check in the mail for just the amount they need, that when something similar doesn't happen to you, you feel that your prayers haven't been answered. And since you know that I've promised to answer all prayers, then logic tells you that I never heard your prayer in the first place. But I have.
If a traveler in the desert prays for relief, the easy answer would be to move that person out of the desert into an oasis. But that's not how life works, and that's not how I work--the most important thing that person can do is to finish the journey, for it's in the completion of the journey that character is built, that important lessons are learned. It's in dealing with financial problems that important lessons about character and life are learned, not in being delivered from those problems with lottery winnings or the death of a wealthy relative who has named you in his or her will.
So keep on talking to me, for one of the most important ways that those lessons are learned is in the process of putting into words the needs you have. Most people, for example, find the lack of money much easier to deal with than the worry for the future that they have because of the lack of money. Through reflection and prayer, they realize that it's more important that I help them with that worry than that I deliver them from financial problems. When you seriously consider your problems and the stress in your life, you'll almost always find that the seeds of the resolutions to your problems are within you, and that you can start their growth by recognizing them, honoring them, and nourishing them. And please keep talking to me because I love to hear from you and of you. Your prayers will be answered, but not in the ways you want, for I can see ways that will be much more beneficial, even if they're much more difficult. And they won't be answered according to your timeline, but to mine, for I can see a timeline that you can't yet imagine, for you don't know anything of the elements that need to fall in place for the prayer to be answered--perhaps a certain person will be out of town until next Thursday, and for your prayer to be answered in the best way possible, that person simply must be present.
You, just like everyone else, are doing fine. You have difficulties, and you do your best to deal with them in healthy and productive ways. Please keep me in the loop. I do hear you, always. And I do love you, always. And I do answer your prayers, always.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Right Now
You know, God, I read a lot about the present moment, and how we're supposed to live in it all the time. Right now, it's just after six on a Saturday morning. I'm sitting here with my computer, doing work on websites and listening to the birds and looking out the window at the trees that are all around. Am I fully living in the moment? Or am I squandering these moments as they go by? Is life all about making our moments extraordinary, or is it about fully enjoying and appreciating each moment as it goes by, whether it's extraordinary or not?
God's reply:
Given your last sentence, I believe that you already know the answer to this question, and you're looking more for validation of your feelings and your instinct than for an answer. Besides, as you already know, I'm not one who gives definitive answers to you, since so much of your life experience is up to you and the way you live your life.
Each moment is a lifetime unto itself, full or choices and possible directions and outcomes. Each moment is full of joy and beauty, though most people are so strongly focused on their problems and the ugly things of the world that they simply don't see the beauty and joy, or they see it as a very minor part of the moments in which they live.
The thing that I find most amazing is when people choose not to be appreciative of the gifts that are theirs for the taking in each moment. I give possibilities galore to each of you, yet in any given moment you choose to ignore the gifts and turn on the TV to watch a rerun of a show you've seen twice already. Or you choose to read the negative news that comes to you each day in your newspapers or online. Or you choose to go on Facebook and play the same games that you've already played for many hours.
Each moment of your life already is extraordinary, and there you find the flaw in your original question. You don't have to make any moment any thing--it already is what it is. You simply have choices to make as to what you're going to do with the moment and with its gifts, and whether you're willing to take the risks necessary to turn each moment into something very, very special, or continue to live it in the same ways that you've lived so many of your moments up until this present one--living on rote, doing the same things that you've always done, choosing the comfort of the known over the potential need for effort when you confront the unknown.
God's reply:
Given your last sentence, I believe that you already know the answer to this question, and you're looking more for validation of your feelings and your instinct than for an answer. Besides, as you already know, I'm not one who gives definitive answers to you, since so much of your life experience is up to you and the way you live your life.
Each moment is a lifetime unto itself, full or choices and possible directions and outcomes. Each moment is full of joy and beauty, though most people are so strongly focused on their problems and the ugly things of the world that they simply don't see the beauty and joy, or they see it as a very minor part of the moments in which they live.
The thing that I find most amazing is when people choose not to be appreciative of the gifts that are theirs for the taking in each moment. I give possibilities galore to each of you, yet in any given moment you choose to ignore the gifts and turn on the TV to watch a rerun of a show you've seen twice already. Or you choose to read the negative news that comes to you each day in your newspapers or online. Or you choose to go on Facebook and play the same games that you've already played for many hours.
Each moment of your life already is extraordinary, and there you find the flaw in your original question. You don't have to make any moment any thing--it already is what it is. You simply have choices to make as to what you're going to do with the moment and with its gifts, and whether you're willing to take the risks necessary to turn each moment into something very, very special, or continue to live it in the same ways that you've lived so many of your moments up until this present one--living on rote, doing the same things that you've always done, choosing the comfort of the known over the potential need for effort when you confront the unknown.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Is It Easy?
How easy it seems to be, God, for us people to lose our focus on you, to lose our focus on our spirituality and on our unity with all other beings and you. We get caught up in the terrible news of the day, in the wars and the economy and the murders and other violence, in the recession and the unemployment. It's so very difficult to keep a grasp on the concept of eternity, on the promises of eternal life, on the fleeting nature of our existence here on this planet.
I'd kind of like to ask you, though, just how we're to make the transition from getting caught up in the world to being caught up in you, without ignoring this amazing world that we're in. Can I be God-centered and still do lots of good for people while I'm still here? Can I keep in mind the promise of eternity without losing sight of the here and now, the only part of our lives that truly matters? And as each now arrives in my life, what can I do to make it truly matter, not only to me, but also to the people in my life upon whom I have an effect?
I suppose it could come down to these two questions: What do you want from me, God? And how are you going to help me to reach what you want me to reach? I'm trying to live my life in the best way possible, but am I really doing so? Do I talk to you enough, or am I neglecting you too much and therefore not receiving the guidance that would help me to live my life better? Do I tap into your love, and into the gifts and the abundance that you seem to want for me, or do I keep myself out of the necessary loop for those things?
Am I asking too many questions? And how can I hear and recognize your responses to these questions? Or do the answers come from inside of me, inspired by you? How can I listen properly? How can I hear what I need to hear to grow and learn?
I guess that's enough for now. Now I'll stop writing and start to try to listen for answers. . . .
I'd kind of like to ask you, though, just how we're to make the transition from getting caught up in the world to being caught up in you, without ignoring this amazing world that we're in. Can I be God-centered and still do lots of good for people while I'm still here? Can I keep in mind the promise of eternity without losing sight of the here and now, the only part of our lives that truly matters? And as each now arrives in my life, what can I do to make it truly matter, not only to me, but also to the people in my life upon whom I have an effect?
I suppose it could come down to these two questions: What do you want from me, God? And how are you going to help me to reach what you want me to reach? I'm trying to live my life in the best way possible, but am I really doing so? Do I talk to you enough, or am I neglecting you too much and therefore not receiving the guidance that would help me to live my life better? Do I tap into your love, and into the gifts and the abundance that you seem to want for me, or do I keep myself out of the necessary loop for those things?
Am I asking too many questions? And how can I hear and recognize your responses to these questions? Or do the answers come from inside of me, inspired by you? How can I listen properly? How can I hear what I need to hear to grow and learn?
I guess that's enough for now. Now I'll stop writing and start to try to listen for answers. . . .
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