Good morning, God--thanks for this beautiful new day that's in our lives. I really do appreciate the opportunity to live, to laugh, to love, to hope, to hear music and see the sky and clouds and flowers and such. And I appreciate the fact that I get to spend much of the day with the students and other teachers with whom I work; as tomorrow will be my last day with them, today and tomorrow will be rather bittersweet as the relationships will come to an end as the job comes to an end.
I do have to ask, God, why so many changes? Why couldn't this job have continued? Why couldn't Terry and I have thrived here so that we wouldn't have to be moving again? It certainly would have been a nice place for us to live, and I could have continued to work with the kids here to bring them to a really high level in English. In some ways, it seems like the effort that I've made here has been wasted, and that by leaving I'm leaving the kids in a bad situation. But staying simply wasn't possible, so I was in a situation that had no simple answer, no clear way to deal with it. Both my wife and I believe that we're doing the right thing, but of course, we'll never know how things would have worked out had we ended up staying rather than leaving. And we're both looking forward to starting over again in a place that seems more supportive, and that definitely will be more affordable.
God's answer:
First of all, staying was possible. You could have chosen to remain where you are, teaching the same classes to the same students for as long as you would have liked. The question is whether or not it would have been worth the frustration and aggravation that you most definitely would have felt working in the same situation for longer than you have. As you know, tigers don't change their stripes, and the people you work with who are doing their jobs poorly would have continued to do their jobs poorly, and you would have continued to be frustrated with the low quality of the education at your school. Staying was possible, but it wasn't what was best for you or for the students.
You're moving because that's what's best for both you and your wife right now. And believe it or not, you're leaving the school because that's what's best for the school right now. I'm not going to go through an entire explanation of the why's and how's, for reasons such as these make themselves clear through time, and there's a good chance that you'll never see the reasons from the school's perspective. You don't need to. You just need to trust that this situation has come about because there is a need for change, and that change would not have happened if the status quo had been allowed to continue on. And no, you're not some sort of sacrificial lamb that had to leave his job for things to happen--this change is for your benefit, also. There are things that you need to learn and experience that you could not have learned and experienced where you are now.
And the effort that you make never is wasted. It may touch just one or two students (though I assure you it's more than that), but the ones that you touch will soon touch others, and they others, until the ripple that you started spreads out and touches the world. Life is that way, and it always has been that way. Think about how many good teachers you've had whose methods and ideas you now use in order to reach your students, and you'll have an idea of the effect that you may be having on your students. No form of giving can be wasted effort.
You've learned here. But the lessons that you need to learn to continue growing cannot be learned here, so you're moving on. You'll miss the people here, but you'll meet new people. Just trust that all that you're doing has purposes that you can't always know, and things will be fine. . . and you'll continue to grow and learn.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
No Answer Yet. . . or?
Good morning, God, and thanks for this new day. Thank you for the sky and the trees and the sunshine and the possibilities that this day brings to us. Thank you for the work that we have and the opportunity to start over again.
I have been trying to listen over the last few days, but perhaps I've been too busy to hear what you've told me. Or perhaps you're waiting to give me an answer or two. Or maybe you've told me and I've heard you, but I haven't recognized the answer(s). In any case, I don't feel that I know any sort of answer, though I do feel that I feel some of the answers--does that make sense? In other words, there are answers in my intuition, but not in the logical portions of my brain.
I think that first of all, you've told me that we have to believe fully that the recovery will happen, and will happen earlier than I expected. We have to have faith in you, faith in the idea that you want the best for us.
And that's where one of the conflicts arises. I know that sometimes the best thing for people is to face periods of austerity so that we'll appreciate more strongly the periods of plenty--and how do I tell whether our current austerity is due to poor planning on our part or great planning on your part? If I ask to be delivered from the lean times when the lean times are actually what's best, what then? Well, obviously you aren't going to deliver me from them, which means that it will look like our prayers aren't being answered, which will make it more difficult to have faith in the power of prayer.
Oh, boy.
Here's a suggestion--just have me win the lottery or something. Yeah, I know. . . I don't buy lottery tickets, so I can't win the lottery. How about if you just give me some sort of sign that things will be okay? Again, I know. . . we've already gotten plenty of such signs. But the signs are always that things are going to be okay, and almost never this is the first step towards things being okay. That makes it a bit difficult to have faith in the future--the kind of faith in the future that allows us to relax fully and enjoy this day.
Okay, enough rambling, I guess. I just want to tell you some of the things that are going on in my mind, some of the things with which I'm having difficulties. We'll do all we can to make things work, but we'll also trust in you and in life and in the unity of all your creation that things will work out, and work out well. We'll trust that we will soon be blessed with an abundance that we really haven't even been able to imagine, and we'll be very grateful for that abundance, even now when we haven't yet seen it as part of our lives.
And we thank you beforehand for all the blessings.
I have been trying to listen over the last few days, but perhaps I've been too busy to hear what you've told me. Or perhaps you're waiting to give me an answer or two. Or maybe you've told me and I've heard you, but I haven't recognized the answer(s). In any case, I don't feel that I know any sort of answer, though I do feel that I feel some of the answers--does that make sense? In other words, there are answers in my intuition, but not in the logical portions of my brain.
I think that first of all, you've told me that we have to believe fully that the recovery will happen, and will happen earlier than I expected. We have to have faith in you, faith in the idea that you want the best for us.
And that's where one of the conflicts arises. I know that sometimes the best thing for people is to face periods of austerity so that we'll appreciate more strongly the periods of plenty--and how do I tell whether our current austerity is due to poor planning on our part or great planning on your part? If I ask to be delivered from the lean times when the lean times are actually what's best, what then? Well, obviously you aren't going to deliver me from them, which means that it will look like our prayers aren't being answered, which will make it more difficult to have faith in the power of prayer.
Oh, boy.
Here's a suggestion--just have me win the lottery or something. Yeah, I know. . . I don't buy lottery tickets, so I can't win the lottery. How about if you just give me some sort of sign that things will be okay? Again, I know. . . we've already gotten plenty of such signs. But the signs are always that things are going to be okay, and almost never this is the first step towards things being okay. That makes it a bit difficult to have faith in the future--the kind of faith in the future that allows us to relax fully and enjoy this day.
Okay, enough rambling, I guess. I just want to tell you some of the things that are going on in my mind, some of the things with which I'm having difficulties. We'll do all we can to make things work, but we'll also trust in you and in life and in the unity of all your creation that things will work out, and work out well. We'll trust that we will soon be blessed with an abundance that we really haven't even been able to imagine, and we'll be very grateful for that abundance, even now when we haven't yet seen it as part of our lives.
And we thank you beforehand for all the blessings.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Getting Ahead?
Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day in my life. The next hours are filled with potential and possibility, and I'm grateful for the chance to live another day in this world, to be able to give and to receive and to laugh and love and feel. . . .
These days find my wife and me on the verge of a huge change, but also still caught up in the financial maelstrom that started three years ago when I was laid off. The last two years of my wife not being able to find work haven't helped, of course, but that's neither here nor there. No matter what, we are where we are, we are trying our best to resolve the situation--and we seem to be treading water, still unable to catch up with the bills and the responsibilities and the debt that came to us as a result of the layoff.
So what can we do, God? How can we start changing things and turning things around? The main reason for which we're making the move is that our current situation isn't at all helpful to us, and we need to change it. The fear that we both share, though, is that our next situation will be just as negative, especially with the possibility of my wife finding work. What will we do if she doesn't? How will we ever get ahead, and how will we ever prepare ourselves for retirement?
I know that we're not the only people facing these problems. I know that there are millions of people out there who have things much worse than we have them. But that doesn't keep me from searching for answers, from asking for guidance, from trying to turn things around. And I know that we're very blessed with the things that we do have--it's not a question of a lack of gratitude or of taking things for granted. It's simply that it's very hard to live this way, and we both want to turn our financial situation around so that we can get ahead and actually help others for a change. Could you please tell me what's up with this, or give me some guidance as far as what we might do to improve things? I'll be listening for an answer, and I'll try to write it down here tomorrow. . . .
These days find my wife and me on the verge of a huge change, but also still caught up in the financial maelstrom that started three years ago when I was laid off. The last two years of my wife not being able to find work haven't helped, of course, but that's neither here nor there. No matter what, we are where we are, we are trying our best to resolve the situation--and we seem to be treading water, still unable to catch up with the bills and the responsibilities and the debt that came to us as a result of the layoff.
So what can we do, God? How can we start changing things and turning things around? The main reason for which we're making the move is that our current situation isn't at all helpful to us, and we need to change it. The fear that we both share, though, is that our next situation will be just as negative, especially with the possibility of my wife finding work. What will we do if she doesn't? How will we ever get ahead, and how will we ever prepare ourselves for retirement?
I know that we're not the only people facing these problems. I know that there are millions of people out there who have things much worse than we have them. But that doesn't keep me from searching for answers, from asking for guidance, from trying to turn things around. And I know that we're very blessed with the things that we do have--it's not a question of a lack of gratitude or of taking things for granted. It's simply that it's very hard to live this way, and we both want to turn our financial situation around so that we can get ahead and actually help others for a change. Could you please tell me what's up with this, or give me some guidance as far as what we might do to improve things? I'll be listening for an answer, and I'll try to write it down here tomorrow. . . .
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Just to Talk
Sometimes, God, I just need to talk. With someone, with anyone. Talking is how I best clarify things in my life, how I best deal with problems and figure out ways to handle them. I like talking to you, but I do wonder often if you hear, if you care. After all, I'm just me, and there are so many others on the planet. And it's not that I feel unworthy, or that you'd put me low on your list of priorities, but that it just seems like there has to be some sort of limit to the number of actual messages you can hear, thoughts you can receive. How much water can go through a gate of a certain size? The rest of the water backs up in a flood, and only some of the water actually gets through. I see prayers like that, and I see my talks with you like that. There are so many others who need so much more than I. . . why would I be high on your list of priorities?
God's reply:
That's a good analogy for a common misperception of the nature of God. That there's a gate that has to be gotten through in order for a prayer to be heard. The simple fact is that you might better think of me as a black hole, one that sucks in virtually everything that is sent its way, but in a much more positive way. And prayer sent my way, and if you understand my nature, then you understand how.
Remember that I am in you. That fact alone makes it virtually impossible for one of your prayers to miss me. If you write a letter to a friend and put it into an envelope and mail it without letting your wife read it, then that message can leave your home without her knowing its contents. But prayers aren't like that. The prayer is your attempt to figure out just what you need in life and put it into words--as you said yourself, to clarify things. Even in your attempt to come up with the words of your prayer, I see and understand the turmoil that you're going through, the difficulties that you face, the problems that are causing you stress and pain and sleepless nights.
Part of what makes you feel that I don't hear your prayers is the fact that you don't immediately see results. You don't see answers, and you think you should. You've read so many stories of people who need money and who pray for it and then get an unexpected check in the mail for just the amount they need, that when something similar doesn't happen to you, you feel that your prayers haven't been answered. And since you know that I've promised to answer all prayers, then logic tells you that I never heard your prayer in the first place. But I have.
If a traveler in the desert prays for relief, the easy answer would be to move that person out of the desert into an oasis. But that's not how life works, and that's not how I work--the most important thing that person can do is to finish the journey, for it's in the completion of the journey that character is built, that important lessons are learned. It's in dealing with financial problems that important lessons about character and life are learned, not in being delivered from those problems with lottery winnings or the death of a wealthy relative who has named you in his or her will.
So keep on talking to me, for one of the most important ways that those lessons are learned is in the process of putting into words the needs you have. Most people, for example, find the lack of money much easier to deal with than the worry for the future that they have because of the lack of money. Through reflection and prayer, they realize that it's more important that I help them with that worry than that I deliver them from financial problems. When you seriously consider your problems and the stress in your life, you'll almost always find that the seeds of the resolutions to your problems are within you, and that you can start their growth by recognizing them, honoring them, and nourishing them. And please keep talking to me because I love to hear from you and of you. Your prayers will be answered, but not in the ways you want, for I can see ways that will be much more beneficial, even if they're much more difficult. And they won't be answered according to your timeline, but to mine, for I can see a timeline that you can't yet imagine, for you don't know anything of the elements that need to fall in place for the prayer to be answered--perhaps a certain person will be out of town until next Thursday, and for your prayer to be answered in the best way possible, that person simply must be present.
You, just like everyone else, are doing fine. You have difficulties, and you do your best to deal with them in healthy and productive ways. Please keep me in the loop. I do hear you, always. And I do love you, always. And I do answer your prayers, always.
God's reply:
That's a good analogy for a common misperception of the nature of God. That there's a gate that has to be gotten through in order for a prayer to be heard. The simple fact is that you might better think of me as a black hole, one that sucks in virtually everything that is sent its way, but in a much more positive way. And prayer sent my way, and if you understand my nature, then you understand how.
Remember that I am in you. That fact alone makes it virtually impossible for one of your prayers to miss me. If you write a letter to a friend and put it into an envelope and mail it without letting your wife read it, then that message can leave your home without her knowing its contents. But prayers aren't like that. The prayer is your attempt to figure out just what you need in life and put it into words--as you said yourself, to clarify things. Even in your attempt to come up with the words of your prayer, I see and understand the turmoil that you're going through, the difficulties that you face, the problems that are causing you stress and pain and sleepless nights.
Part of what makes you feel that I don't hear your prayers is the fact that you don't immediately see results. You don't see answers, and you think you should. You've read so many stories of people who need money and who pray for it and then get an unexpected check in the mail for just the amount they need, that when something similar doesn't happen to you, you feel that your prayers haven't been answered. And since you know that I've promised to answer all prayers, then logic tells you that I never heard your prayer in the first place. But I have.
If a traveler in the desert prays for relief, the easy answer would be to move that person out of the desert into an oasis. But that's not how life works, and that's not how I work--the most important thing that person can do is to finish the journey, for it's in the completion of the journey that character is built, that important lessons are learned. It's in dealing with financial problems that important lessons about character and life are learned, not in being delivered from those problems with lottery winnings or the death of a wealthy relative who has named you in his or her will.
So keep on talking to me, for one of the most important ways that those lessons are learned is in the process of putting into words the needs you have. Most people, for example, find the lack of money much easier to deal with than the worry for the future that they have because of the lack of money. Through reflection and prayer, they realize that it's more important that I help them with that worry than that I deliver them from financial problems. When you seriously consider your problems and the stress in your life, you'll almost always find that the seeds of the resolutions to your problems are within you, and that you can start their growth by recognizing them, honoring them, and nourishing them. And please keep talking to me because I love to hear from you and of you. Your prayers will be answered, but not in the ways you want, for I can see ways that will be much more beneficial, even if they're much more difficult. And they won't be answered according to your timeline, but to mine, for I can see a timeline that you can't yet imagine, for you don't know anything of the elements that need to fall in place for the prayer to be answered--perhaps a certain person will be out of town until next Thursday, and for your prayer to be answered in the best way possible, that person simply must be present.
You, just like everyone else, are doing fine. You have difficulties, and you do your best to deal with them in healthy and productive ways. Please keep me in the loop. I do hear you, always. And I do love you, always. And I do answer your prayers, always.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Right Now
You know, God, I read a lot about the present moment, and how we're supposed to live in it all the time. Right now, it's just after six on a Saturday morning. I'm sitting here with my computer, doing work on websites and listening to the birds and looking out the window at the trees that are all around. Am I fully living in the moment? Or am I squandering these moments as they go by? Is life all about making our moments extraordinary, or is it about fully enjoying and appreciating each moment as it goes by, whether it's extraordinary or not?
God's reply:
Given your last sentence, I believe that you already know the answer to this question, and you're looking more for validation of your feelings and your instinct than for an answer. Besides, as you already know, I'm not one who gives definitive answers to you, since so much of your life experience is up to you and the way you live your life.
Each moment is a lifetime unto itself, full or choices and possible directions and outcomes. Each moment is full of joy and beauty, though most people are so strongly focused on their problems and the ugly things of the world that they simply don't see the beauty and joy, or they see it as a very minor part of the moments in which they live.
The thing that I find most amazing is when people choose not to be appreciative of the gifts that are theirs for the taking in each moment. I give possibilities galore to each of you, yet in any given moment you choose to ignore the gifts and turn on the TV to watch a rerun of a show you've seen twice already. Or you choose to read the negative news that comes to you each day in your newspapers or online. Or you choose to go on Facebook and play the same games that you've already played for many hours.
Each moment of your life already is extraordinary, and there you find the flaw in your original question. You don't have to make any moment any thing--it already is what it is. You simply have choices to make as to what you're going to do with the moment and with its gifts, and whether you're willing to take the risks necessary to turn each moment into something very, very special, or continue to live it in the same ways that you've lived so many of your moments up until this present one--living on rote, doing the same things that you've always done, choosing the comfort of the known over the potential need for effort when you confront the unknown.
God's reply:
Given your last sentence, I believe that you already know the answer to this question, and you're looking more for validation of your feelings and your instinct than for an answer. Besides, as you already know, I'm not one who gives definitive answers to you, since so much of your life experience is up to you and the way you live your life.
Each moment is a lifetime unto itself, full or choices and possible directions and outcomes. Each moment is full of joy and beauty, though most people are so strongly focused on their problems and the ugly things of the world that they simply don't see the beauty and joy, or they see it as a very minor part of the moments in which they live.
The thing that I find most amazing is when people choose not to be appreciative of the gifts that are theirs for the taking in each moment. I give possibilities galore to each of you, yet in any given moment you choose to ignore the gifts and turn on the TV to watch a rerun of a show you've seen twice already. Or you choose to read the negative news that comes to you each day in your newspapers or online. Or you choose to go on Facebook and play the same games that you've already played for many hours.
Each moment of your life already is extraordinary, and there you find the flaw in your original question. You don't have to make any moment any thing--it already is what it is. You simply have choices to make as to what you're going to do with the moment and with its gifts, and whether you're willing to take the risks necessary to turn each moment into something very, very special, or continue to live it in the same ways that you've lived so many of your moments up until this present one--living on rote, doing the same things that you've always done, choosing the comfort of the known over the potential need for effort when you confront the unknown.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Is It Easy?
How easy it seems to be, God, for us people to lose our focus on you, to lose our focus on our spirituality and on our unity with all other beings and you. We get caught up in the terrible news of the day, in the wars and the economy and the murders and other violence, in the recession and the unemployment. It's so very difficult to keep a grasp on the concept of eternity, on the promises of eternal life, on the fleeting nature of our existence here on this planet.
I'd kind of like to ask you, though, just how we're to make the transition from getting caught up in the world to being caught up in you, without ignoring this amazing world that we're in. Can I be God-centered and still do lots of good for people while I'm still here? Can I keep in mind the promise of eternity without losing sight of the here and now, the only part of our lives that truly matters? And as each now arrives in my life, what can I do to make it truly matter, not only to me, but also to the people in my life upon whom I have an effect?
I suppose it could come down to these two questions: What do you want from me, God? And how are you going to help me to reach what you want me to reach? I'm trying to live my life in the best way possible, but am I really doing so? Do I talk to you enough, or am I neglecting you too much and therefore not receiving the guidance that would help me to live my life better? Do I tap into your love, and into the gifts and the abundance that you seem to want for me, or do I keep myself out of the necessary loop for those things?
Am I asking too many questions? And how can I hear and recognize your responses to these questions? Or do the answers come from inside of me, inspired by you? How can I listen properly? How can I hear what I need to hear to grow and learn?
I guess that's enough for now. Now I'll stop writing and start to try to listen for answers. . . .
I'd kind of like to ask you, though, just how we're to make the transition from getting caught up in the world to being caught up in you, without ignoring this amazing world that we're in. Can I be God-centered and still do lots of good for people while I'm still here? Can I keep in mind the promise of eternity without losing sight of the here and now, the only part of our lives that truly matters? And as each now arrives in my life, what can I do to make it truly matter, not only to me, but also to the people in my life upon whom I have an effect?
I suppose it could come down to these two questions: What do you want from me, God? And how are you going to help me to reach what you want me to reach? I'm trying to live my life in the best way possible, but am I really doing so? Do I talk to you enough, or am I neglecting you too much and therefore not receiving the guidance that would help me to live my life better? Do I tap into your love, and into the gifts and the abundance that you seem to want for me, or do I keep myself out of the necessary loop for those things?
Am I asking too many questions? And how can I hear and recognize your responses to these questions? Or do the answers come from inside of me, inspired by you? How can I listen properly? How can I hear what I need to hear to grow and learn?
I guess that's enough for now. Now I'll stop writing and start to try to listen for answers. . . .
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