It's been a while. . . .

Good morning, God, and thanks for this new day!  I haven't written on this space for quite a while, but you know that that doesn't mean I've forgotten about you.  Life keeps going on, and things keep moving on, and sometimes we have to switch gears and look for other ways to accomplish things like having a discussion with you.

I thank you much for the hike yesterday--seven hours in the mountains were very important to me, a great way to get my mind off of the many things that are going on around here and focus more on things like the beauty of the world that surrounds us and the opportunities that we have to share that beauty.  There's so much stress in our school situation right now that it's almost impossible to think of anything else, but it is important that we do think of other things--more positive things--if we're to make our lives manageable and even enjoyable.  I know that one of the keys to making life more fulfilling is by choosing where we place our attention, and what we choose to do and how we choose to react, but sometimes it's just too easy to get caught up in things and stay focused on the negative aspects of life.

So I would like to ask you to help me to stay focused on the positive; help me to stay focused on the good and on spreading the good.  I often need reminders to shift my thinking from negative to positive, and I would very much appreciate any reminders that you can give me to help me to see that there is much positive in life, and many things that are worth our love and admiration.

Today

Good morning, God, and thank you very much for this new day.  It's early in the morning, but I've been up for two and a half hours already.  I really do like getting up early and getting a lot of work done--I think people would be surprised to find out just how quiet and peaceful the morning hours are.  So many of the evening and night hours are filled with constant noise and conflict, and I have no problems at all going to bed early and trading those night hours for the relaxing early-morning hours.

So far, my summer break has been pretty productive, and you know that that's how I like it to be.  I have fun doing things, I enjoy creating things and working on things, so being productive to me isn't any extra pressure at all, especially since I'm not working with any deadlines or people telling me what I have to do.  I'm doing things on my own and in my own time, and that's quite enjoyable.  So thanks much for the opportunity to do so.

With this new today, I hope to do something interesting and/or constructive, so if you're able to help out with that at all, I'd really appreciate it!  In any case, thanks very much for the day in general, and please be with me as I go through it--the more I can keep my mind on you and love, the more I can do for others and the more I can contribute, even in what seem to be small and insignificant ways.

Center

Good morning, God, and thanks for this new day in our lives.  It's a holiday here in the states, but as you well know, I don't find holidays all that important, since I find every day that I'm alive to be important.  I don't believe in waiting for a particular day to try to have fun or enjoy myself or get the most out of a day--it's nice that holidays exist, of course, but I think that every day is a holy + day, so aside from the special things that people put on, there isn't much different in a day like today.

I'd really like to know how I could be able to put you at the center of my life all the time.  It's pretty much impossible for me to stay focused on you mentally, consciously, because there are so many things that I need to think about and consider, but I should be able to access the peace and the love that are you, and I should be able to do that whenever I need to do so.  Unfortunately, though, I usually get caught up in what's going on and my mind doesn't make that shift over to you.  My mind stays focused on the task or problem at hand, and I don't even give myself the chance to ask for a little help or a little guidance.

I guess that's where something like this comes in.  Right here and right now, I can ask you for that guidance, even when I may not be asking you directly, even when I'm not even thinking about you at all.  I would like to think that the peace and the guidance that you promise aren't conditional upon my asking for them directly all the time, because you know all about our minds and our brains and how they function.  That would be like hanging something necessary eight feet in the air and making everyone four feet tall, and not allowing them to use any help or ladders or stools to reach it.

I need other people's help, and I need your help.  I do my best in life, but I do fall short.  I recognize that and I even respect it.  But I do want to have you at the center of my life--your peace and your love and your discernment--so that my life can be a better example for other people who want to make their lives something positive.  Any help that you can give me, God, I'll appreciate.

And I thank you in advance.

Another half year is gone

Good morning, God, and thank you very much for this new day.  I've been doing my best to use my time off to take care of some things that I simply don't have time for while school is in session, so I haven't been writing these notes to you as often as I'd like--sorry about that!  You know you're still in my thoughts, though, and in my heart.

I'm thinking this morning about time, and just how strange it is.  When I think about it, there simply is no way that we could be halfway through another year, but when I look at today's date, I find that we'll be there in just a few days.  I don't understand time, especially the relativity involved with it.  Sometimes it feels as if two weeks take forever to get through, while other times it feels like two months just fly by.  This half year has flown, something that can be quite nerve-wracking as we get older.  After all, the faster time goes, the sooner our deaths come, right?  And while I don't spend my time worrying about death (how useless would that be?), I do recognize that the time I have available to me to do some good on this planet before I leave is shrinking with each day that passes.

So one thing I would ask of you is that you help me to stay focused on doing good, on accomplishing things that will help other people.  I truly want to contribute to this world, in positive ways, and I want to stay focused on you and your love and the concept of loving others with unconditional love each day that I'm on this planet--and you can help me with that, with the reminders that I may need to keep myself focused.  And I also ask you to push me in the directions in which I can do the most good for everyone, if you would.  I don't expect you to guide my every move as if I were a puppet, but I know that I'm not so good at recognizing opportunities and new directions, so any help is much appreciated.

In any case, I thank you much for this new day, and I hope to live up to its promise by doing the things that I truly want and need to do.

Being Busy

Good morning, God, and thank you for the summertime!  It's much warmer these days, and it's nice to be able to step outside without putting on the coats and the sweaters and such.  Thanks much for the nice weather and the chance to enjoy the world without bundling up.

There haven't been all that many of these notes in the last few weeks, and for that I apologize.  I don't apologize because I think you're angry or anything, but because I know that these notes to you are a very positive part of my life, a good way for me to focus on life, living, and you, and the gratitude that I feel for the gifts that I have in life.  I've neglected it because I've been doing other work that's very positive--working on a novel, running and biking, working on the websites--but it's still a very good idea to take a few minutes each morning and send some grateful thoughts your way.  Doing so helps me to make my day better and stay focused on positive things, and I need to do that more.

I think that being busy is okay, as long as we're not too busy.  It's so much better to be productive and helpful to others than it is to be passive and virtually useless, isn't it?  But there has to be a balance, for I'm not doing myself any good if I'm so busy doing things that I neglect the needs of my spirit.  My spirit needs rest, relaxation, and nourishment in addition to the work that I do.  After all, I am primarily a spirit, not primarily a brain and a body, yet it's very easy to stop taking care of myself as a spirit.

In addition to my thanks, then, I send you a simple request:  could you perhaps send me reminders now and then to slow down and take care of my spirit from time to time?  I enjoy writing directly to you like this, and I'll look forward to hearing from you as you help to guide me, and help me to make decisions that will be good for me and for others in life.

Thanks!

Today

Good day, God, and thanks for this new day in my life.  I have a lot of hours ahead of me on this day, during which I can write, work on the website, write letters, read--do any of a number of things that I've been having to put off because of school.  I really do appreciate the opportunities I have, and I ask you to be with me to help to guide me to make full use of those chances that I have.

Today will be a good day, if I stay focused and make sure that I devote my time and energy to those things that I really want to do.  I'd love to get 2,000 more words on the novel, and I'd love to finish with the first book that I'm doing for the project.  I'd also love to get two cards written to friends, as I have about 16 to send out that haven't been written yet.  I also want to relax, and try to find a place of peace inside myself, a place that will allow me to tackle the things I want to do today.  I truly can do such things only if I'm feeling good about myself and about my world.

I want to keep my mind free, and not bogged down in problems or difficulties.  I hope to focus on being creative, and on giving love wherever I can these days.  Terry and I have a new goal now, and it would be great if I were to get an early start on making sure that we're able to accomplish that goal.   Of course, whether we do or not is ultimately up to you, because I'm willing to acknowledge the possibility that the goal we have in mind may not be the best thing for us--we'll trust you to redirect us if that's the case.

I want to wish you a good day--I hope that all of us humans down here don't make you too miserable with our greed and our selfishness and our conflicts and all the other things that we do that seem like they'd make you rather sad.  We're trying, I think, and one day we may just get it right.

A break

Good morning, God, and thanks for this new day in my life!  I hope to make something valuable of it, and I'm glad that I have new opportunities to walk, to run, to see, to hear--to do so many things that make life a beautiful experience.  I really do appreciate the chances I have that other people may not have.

It's summer break now, the first real break that I've had in several years.  I spent the first week of it rewriting a book of mine, and I hope to spend the rest of it working on other books.  It's nice to allow my mind to shift from the constant stress of teaching to a more self-imposed stress of writing.  It's a different way of thinking, and a different experience altogether.  I hope to write well this summer--that's my most important goal.

And I would like to ask for your help in that.  My prose is dry, though my mind sees and comprehends so many things that the prose should be dry at all.  Why do I choose words that don't come alive when I'm writing?  Where is the disconnect between what I see and what I feel and the words that come out when I'm trying to put those things into words?

All writing that I do this summer, I hereby put into your hands.  Help me to make the books I'll be working on works that are truly special, please.  I'll very much appreciate any help that you can give me!

Ciao for now!

I Am Spirit

Good morning, God--and thanks for this new day, and my new opportunities to make something special of the day.  I'm hoping to make it a bright and beautiful day, and I appreciate the chances I have to do so.  Given the fact that it's the last day of the school year, the day is already one that's set to be enjoyable!

I've been thinking a lot the last couple of days about spirit, and about the fact that I am a spirit spending time in a body on a planet.  It's so easy for me to forget--I keep thinking that I'm limited to this form, to the flesh and blood that house my spirit while I'm here.  The reality is, though, that in my main form (not my "other" form), I'm connected to all the other people and animals and plants and trees on this planet, through you.  The connection is easily the most important aspect of my life, yet I still focus so much on my separateness, on the ways in which I'm different from others.  That's just silly, isn't it?

So I'd like to ask you a simple favor--could you please help me to build my awareness of the connection that  exists between me and all other things?  Could you help me to focus on the unity that we share rather than the differences that divide us?  My spirit cries out for connection, yet I live in a world--and specifically, a community--that focuses on division.  It's a painful situation to be in, but one that I've learned to deal with over time.  But since I am spirit, I want the spirit to thrive and to shine, not to be put down and subdued.  And I want to be able to help others to allow their spirits to shine and to thrive.

With your help, I believe I can do so.  Thanks!

The beginning of another end. . . .

Good morning, God, and thank you much for this new day that you've given to us.  I appreciate the chance I have to live, to love, to give, to receive, to share, to do so many other things that make up this life that I lead.   I just hope that I'm able to do my best in all that I do, and to share positive things with others.

It's our last week of school for the year.  Students are finished on Thursday, and we'll be finished on Friday.  I'm really looking forward to the break, and I much appreciate the opportunity to have one this year--something that I didn't have last year, for the most part.  I hope to make the most of it, and rest as much as I can and write as much as I can.

I'll miss the students, of course--I always miss students when the school year ends.  They're nice people to spend time with, and I enjoy their company.  The time off, though, gives us a chance to take time away from each other so that they can internalize much of what they've learned, and so that they don't get too tired of me telling them what to do all the time!  Another school year is coming to an end--it's my sixth year of teaching at the high school level, and I think that I am getting a bit exhausted from it.  It's wearing thin, especially in dealing with administrations that aren't effective or even slightly so.  Teaching has become a constant struggle instead of a constant joy, and I certainly don't want to be in that place.

I do ask for your guidance.  I do ask that you will help me to make decisions, to treat people well, to do the best I can to help the students learn things that will be important to them in their futures.  I don't want to feel ever that I've got it down--I don't want to get complacent, and I don't want to get so frustrated that I don't enjoy being in the classroom any more.  So please be with me and help me to be patient, compassionate, and aware.

It's been a while. . . .

Good morning, God!  It's been a while since I last greeted you here on this page, hasn't it?  With the school year winding down and the track season coming to an end and all the grading and preparing I have to do, my time has become very full, and I don't seem to have as much time for things like this.  That's okay, though--it's not like I'm completely ignoring you or forgetting you.  Not writing a note to you in a context like this doesn't do anything to our relationship. . . it just shows that I'm busy.

There's much change in the air now, and it isn't all completely positive, as you well know.  I'll be facing some serious dilemmas in the near future, and I'll have some hard decisions to make.  My main hope is that I make decisions that make sense, and that are in life with what's best for me and the other people in my life.  I will be asking you for guidance, and I know that I have that as long as I keep you in mind while I consider the situations and the possibilities.  You know what's best for me and the other people in my life.  So please help me to see clearly and consider clearly the words that I say, the words that I hear, the ways that I react, the ways that I feel.  Mistakes are often made in situations such as the one in which we find ourselves, so please help me to avoid those mistakes.  Thanks!

A New Monday

Hello, God, and thanks for the opportunities that I'm going to have today--the chances to work with other people, to help young people to learn, to enjoy their perspectives and feedback and effort.  I really do appreciate the opportunity to be a teacher and to work with students who are doing their best to learn and to grow and to become something more than they are right now.

As you know, there are other elements in my life that have come up, especially concerning the school and its financial situation.  The school is very broke, and that means that my days there are probably numbered.  While I would be more than fine staying there, the lack of money there means that they'll need to do anything they can to save money, which probably means a very short tenure for me there.  I have applied for a completely different job in a different district, and I do ask you to be with me during the process of that application.  Financially, that job would be a great boon to Terry and me, and professionally it would mean an awful lot to me to be able to do new work that would affect more students and teachers in positive ways.

While I usually don't ask you for specific things--normally I'll just ask that your will be done--I would like to ask you for this new job.  I don't want to spend another year getting to know these kids and then having to leave them after two short years.  That's what has happened at two schools so far, and it's been very painful. Plus, as I said, the financial change would be very helpful to Terry and me, as we would be able to put money into retirement and pay off the debt that we have and take care of many other things that need to be taken care of.  This job would be a wonderful opportunity to expand my own horizons and to help expand the horizons of many teachers and students, too.  I know that I can do this job very, very well, and I would love the chance to tackle new challenges in my life.

That said, I won't resent you if I don't get it.  I'm not asking with expectations.  I'm just letting you know that this is something that I would definitely love to do, and something that would be very positive for me, Terry, and the people with whom I would work.  I could bring a lot to this job, and I could do it very well.  You know that in my life I've rarely pursued anything passionately, as there's always been fear that I would do so and then not get what I hoped to get.  This time, I want to picture myself there, waking up on a chilly October morn in the mountains, walking to work in the brisk fall air, enjoying myself immensely while doing work that's very important and very beneficial to others.

A reply:

You've done what you can as far as actions are concerned.  You've applied and you've written the letters you've needed to write.  What will happen will happen for your best--and that's not to say that it's predestined or that you need to set yourself up for disappointment.  There's a very good chance that what will happen will be that you get your job; there's a very good chance that you'll stay where you are and work with the kids you're working with now.  My ways of doing things don't include predicting your future for you.  But I would say this:  keep having the positive thoughts, keep on envisioning yourself having that job and doing good for others.  Much of the power of determining directions in your life I have given to you--it all isn't in my hands.  Some of it is in your hands, in your minds.  That other school district needs someone good, and yes, you are good at what you do, and you would be good to them.  You also know that there are other people in this world who would be good for them, too.  So do all that you can to make things work, and let go of the need to try to control things, the need to try to make things happen.  Be ready to accept, be ready to love the results.  Either way this goes, you will be fine.

New problems

Good morning, God, and thanks much for this new day!  I hope that I'm able to enjoy all it has to offer, that I'm able to make as much of it as is possible.

In the last couple of days, a couple of new problems have arisen from a couple of sources that were completely unexpected.  It's not enough that I have an awful lot of work to do--even extra work that I've taken on--but now I have to deal with issues that I really shouldn't have to be dealing with.  Is this the spice of life, or are these just annoyances that are going to keep me from addressing the issues that I really should be addressing?  Will they be easy to take care of?  My fear always is that they're going to be issues that drag on and on, even though that usually doesn't happen.  I'll try to deal with them quickly and effectively, but since they depend upon the actions of other people, too, the outcomes aren't exactly in my control.

In any case, I do ask for your help in dealing with these issues.  They won't be completely pleasant if they drag on and the stress continues, but if you could at least help me to deal with the stress and with the problems, I'd truly appreciate it.

Thanks!

A reply:

You've already felt a lifting of the stress as soon as you asked for my help.  That's the first step, of course--to give the problem over to someone else so that you're not dealing with it alone.

You're dealing with the lifelong issue of having had to deal with problems on your own, too.  Because of this, you dread problems more than some other people do.  Since your parents weren't there for you to help you deal with most of your problems, you've grown up thinking that you have to do everything yourself.  That in itself makes problems more drastic than they actually are.  Just remember that it's up to you to do only what you can do, and trust that others will do what they're supposed to do.  Make your effort, then leave it in my hands and the hands of others.

Problems aren't the problem--stress over the problems, fear that the problems will escalate and become much worse is the problem.  Give your fear to me, and you'll find that your problems become completely different in your mind, which is where they exist mostly in the first place.

Good morning

Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day!  I hope that I'm able to make the most of it and make some positive contributions to the lives of others, especially the students in my classes.  Thanks for the opportunities to give and share!

A reply:

You're welcome.

Purpose?

Good morning, God, and thanks for this new day in our lives.  It's going to be an interesting day, spent at a track meet rather than in class, and I am looking forward to being outdoors most of the day rather than inside.  It makes a difference sometimes to get the fresh air and the sunshine rather than being in the artificial light for hours on end.

As time keeps rolling on and on, we find ourselves already in mid-April.  Sometimes it seems that time crawls, yet sometimes it flies.  Recently, it's been flying rather than crawling, which I suppose is good since we're approaching the end of the school year.  Who wants time to crawl when summer break is coming up?

But whenever I think about  time and the way it passes, I have to stop and consider my purpose here on this planet, and whether or not I'm coming close to fulfilling it.  Am I on the right track to fulfill a worthwhile purpose here?  Am I doing the right things or the wrong things?  Is my life one that's going to matter in the long run, or will I be completely forgotten the moment I pass on--or ten days after I pass on?  In all honesty, I'm not too concerned about being remembered, but I'm sure my ego would like to think that there are people here who will remember me fondly, or who will carry on some of my modest influence after I've departed.

I look at some people who don't do much of anything except watch television, buy groceries, eat, sleep, and watch more television, and I have to admit that I wonder at their purpose in life--are they really fulfilling a purpose now, or did they fulfill one earlier?  Are they just hanging on to life because they're afraid of moving on, afraid of the unknown?

And who says that we have to fulfill any purpose at all?  Isn't that my judgment of what we're supposed to do while we're alive creeping in?  Is there a purpose to any of this, or will everything we ever did be for naught when human beings are no longer able to live on this planet?  Perhaps our only purpose is to learn the lessons that we've come here to learn.  If I think about it too much, it all seems rather silly, rather pointless--but that's more me than anything else.

A reply:

Your purpose is to love.  To learn to love, to practice love, to receive love.  That's it.  If you over-intellectualize it (which I don't think you're doing, by the way), you can trivialize it by turning it into information or ideas that simply support your own perceptions, and life isn't to be trivialized because love isn't to be trivialized.

It's very easy to get caught up in the world's ideas of purpose and success.  It's easy to feel that you're "coming up short" when you feel that your accomplishments don't measure up to those of others.  And it's easy to look at others and wonder if they're doing what they should be doing and how that compares to what you're doing.  But life isn't about comparison, either--life is about you finding your own way by finding your strengths and using them, and finding your weaknesses and dealing with them, either by accepting them or turning them into something else.

It's okay to think about purpose, because if you don't you very likely end up treading water.  When you think about having a purpose to fulfill, then you're more likely to search out a purpose and try to fulfill it, rather than  spending your time doing things that really don't matter, such as watching television or doing other things that are truly passive.  Those things can be good from time to time as a sort of rest, but they do rob you of the motivation to do things that will make you feel much better overall.

Love is the most important power in the world.  Love will lead you to help others, to give, to encourage, to share, to motivate.  Love will help you to see your purpose, and that may range anywhere from bringing up your children well to treating your children's friends well to writing a book that will contribute to the lives of others--even if it's very few others.

Purpose.  You look for your purpose in life, and that's good.  But also consider the question from my perspective--if I created you as a piece of a much larger puzzle, then what might be your place in that puzzle?

A new week

Good morning, God, and thanks for this new day--and this new week!  I want to thank you for all of the opportunities that await me this week, chances to help, to heal, to learn and grow, to push my students in ways that will challenge them and help them to improve their skills and talents.  A new week gives us all more  chances to contribute to this world in positive, uplifting ways, looking past our own selfishness (while not ignoring our own needs) in order to help others to make the most of their lives.

While I'm really enthusiastic about the school year coming to an end, I don't want to make these last seven weeks wasteful or useless.  There's still a lot to do, still a lot of learning and growing to go, and it would be tremendously unfair of me to check out mentally while my students still expect an awful lot of me--as well they should.  So I would like to ask you to continue to be with me, to help me to get through each day in positive ways, rather than just being there and putting in the time necessary to earn a paycheck.  I'd really appreciate all the help you can give me to stay focused, stay positive, and to help others to learn all they can.

Thanks!

Good morning!

Good morning, God, and thank you very much for this new day in my life.  I have a lot ahead of me on this day, and I do appreciate the fact that I have another day to live through, during which I can experience new things and be of some help to others, in my own little ways.  I thank you for helping me to find positions and situations in which I can be of help, in which I can serve others by doing things for them that they need.  I know that not all of my students want to learn all that I have to teach, of course, but at least I'm in a position in which I can have a bit of a positive influence.

I am concerned about the students here, though.  I'm not sure if here is the town I'm in or the times I'm in, but  for the most part, students don't seem to have much enthusiasm about learning at all.  Is that because they don't care at all, or because they don't see much of a future for themselves?  Is it because they're afraid of actually learning something, or because they're afraid that they won't learn it?  In any case, it's a shame because for the most part, I see kids basically just wasting their time in class, doing assignments by copying and by rote, but not really learning the material that they should be learning.

This I think is the hardest part of teaching--watching young people not live up to their potential, not learn what they could be learning for their own good.  We know the long-term benefits of what we're teaching, but the students can see only the short-term pain in the neck.  They want to perform on tests and quizzes and papers and then just move on to the next thing, without really learning any of the material that we cover.  There are, of course, the exceptions, those who strive to do well, but there don't seem to be as many of them.  And maybe that's just me, remembering what things used to be like through rose-colored filters instead of seeing the reality.

These are just some concerns.  I still do the best I can at what I do.  I'll still try to help them learn.  But there have to be better systems in which students can learn, achieve, excel.  There have to be better paradigms to follow, if the kids aren't interested in this one.

A reply:

You're caught up in the age-old dynamic of seeing the young people as "not like we were."  I'm glad to see, though, that you recognize that your perspective isn't necessarily accurate, and that you know that people have been saying such things about young people since people have been around.  It's the oldest conflict in the book, more or less.

On the other hand, you also realize that young people these days are facing more challenges than young people ever have had to face.  They face many more addictive games and pieces of technology, they have much less time with their parents and other significant adults, they receive more conflicting messages every day than any generation ever has, from all sorts of media that simply didn't exist when you were young.

They aren't much different than you were, or than your parents were.  What's different is the world around them and the methods and strategies that they've developed to deal with that world.  You're working with young people who have more information available to them than any generation before them, but who haven't been taught new ways of dealing with that information.  They feel that they have access to everything, but they also feel very small and insignificant because they aren't able to reach a level of significance in their own worlds with their own families.

Keep working with them.  Keep treating them with respect, and keep trying to help them succeed.  That really is the most important thing of all--that they have adults in their lives who treat them well and who expect good things from them.

Good evening!

Hello, God, and thanks for an absolutely beautiful evening.  It's warm and sunny outside, and we're just enjoying the peaceful end to a relaxing day.  I want to thank you for this thing called spring break--it really is a necessary part of the school year.  I believe that I would be able to make it to the end of the year without the break, but it most certainly would be more difficult.

I also want to thank you for the opportunity that I have on Friday to run another 24-hour race.  I know that it isn't something that most people are interested in, but it is something that is a great challenge for me.  In our world these days we don't get too many chances to challenge ourselves well and fully, and this kind of race is  a great chance to do so.

I guess what puzzles me is the timing of my knee starting to give me problems three weeks ago, right before the race.  I was training really well, enjoying myself and building my endurance well, and then the trick knee returns after having been out of my life for many, many years.  I'll still be able to do the run this week, I'm sure, but probably not as effectively as I would have been able to do without a knee issue.

The thing that bothers me the most, though, is that I know that I should be able to focus my thoughts and energies elsewhere so that the knee doesn't bother me much--if at all--but now my mind is caught up in focusing on how the knee is, whether it's about to give me problems or not.  And I know that the more I focus on the knee, the more likely it is for the knee to give me problems.

So I'd like to ask you very clearly for the ability to shift my focus a bit, to be able to look elsewhere and think about other things instead of my knee.  Come what may, I want to do the run and finish it, and I want to do very well in it--so please help me to deal with this issue of my knee in an effective and positive way.  I want to think of other things; I want to stay focused on doing really, really well and not on whether or not my knee is going to be giving me problems.  I know that I can do this, but I would like to have some help with it.    This race represents a great opportunity for me to accomplish something that I'd like to accomplish; I've done all the preparation that I can for it, so please help me with the follow-through.

A reply:

Absolutely. You know that I'm there with you at all times, not just in your times of need, and I'm willing to help you at all times.  Usually, though, you wait until the times of need to ask me for my help, and that tendency is often rather self-defeating.

Give me your knee.  Put it in my care.  Completely and without reservation.  It would be nearly a miracle if you were able to do so--you know this just as well as I do.  But if it is in my hands, then I can contribute to it in positive ways.   If it's out of my hands, well then, guess what?

You are right--not too many people are into that kind of race.  But the fact that you're willing to do it means that you do look past the trappings of the world for challenges that will strengthen your character and help you to learn more about overcoming obstacles, working through difficulties and pain, and going further than you're being called to go.  In your teaching, you see regularly the positive effects of going further than you need to, and you see it in your coaching, too.

While you're out there running and walking, give me your knees for safe-keeping.  Give me your ankles, too, and your heart and lungs and arms and feet. . . everything.  I can't guarantee that everything will go perfectly, that there will be no pain, or that there won't be other issues to deal with.  But I can tell you that when you put things in my hands, things will turn out the way that they're supposed to turn out, even if they aren't the way you expected or wanted them to be.

And have fun--tons of fun--on the run.

Making the Most

Good morning, God, and thanks for this new day!  I'm awake, I'm healthy, I have a home to live in and food to eat and work that I enjoy doing, so I have very much to be thankful for, as you well know.  Now that this day has begun, I'm hoping to make the most of it, to enjoy it as much as I can and turn it into a beautiful day in every way that I can.  Of course, not everything is within my control (things like other people's actions), but I am able to do my best to make sure that my reactions to those things help to improve situations, and not make them worse.

I get to spend time with other people today, and I get to help young people learn things that hopefully will be useful to them in their futures.  I get to listen to music, I get to run, I get to work with a track team.  All in all, there are many things to look forward to today, and I hope that I'm able to make the most of them all.

My main hope, of course, is that I'm able to contribute in positive ways to other people's lives.  I hope that I'm not complacent and that I actively give to the world and face any problems productively and helpfully.  And I certainly could use your help in these things--when I focus on you and the peace and the hope that you promise, I'm able to give more freely and with more confidence.

But now I'm facing a glitch with the Blogger interface--how interesting to end a note to God with a comment about an Internet issue!  In any case, thanks--I have to end here!  Thanks for the new day!

Being Busy--for a Season

Good morning, God--and thanks for this new day.  I do appreciate it, and I appreciate the chance to be doing things that are enjoyable and challenging.  Things are keeping me very, very busy these days, but you and I both know that I do tend to thrive during such busy seasons--as long as I know that they're going to last only a short time, I'm able to do very well with them.  Right now I have school, track, and training for the long run that's coming up, and these things are keeping me occupied pretty much constantly.  But it's also true that the run will be done in less than two weeks, and track will be done in eight.  And heck, school will be done in ten weeks, so the busyness definitely will be diminishing soon enough.

It's odd that I thrive during times like these, for I very much like my down time.  I like having time to sit and relax and have a cup of coffee.  I like having time to read a good book or watch good movies.  Instead, during times like these I'm training or grading papers or planning meets or taking care of logistical issues.  But somehow I do find the time for everything I need to do, and it all gets done on time (or at least, I think it does--who knows what I've missed?).  But I don't get extremely stressed out, and I don't actually miss the down times--probably because I build them into my schedules.  By the end of track season, I'm sure that I'll be missing the down time more, but I'll also know that the end of track season in very near so I'll also have a very important something to look forward to.

It's funny how life balances for us if we allow it to.  Before I commit to something like coaching track, I sometimes dread the loss of my time, yet when the season begins I hardly notice the loss at all.  Would I like to have a day when I come home and relax instead of heading up to the track to work with the students?  Absolutely.  But do I enjoy heading up to the track and working with the students, trying to help them to improve in what they're doing?  Absolutely.

I guess life is about doing things for seasons--there is a time for reaping, and a time for sowing.  I know that if I tried to extend my busy season for whatever reason, I would find that things aren't so positive.  But as it stands now, I'm glad that such busy seasons help me to see the beauty of the down times and help me to appreciate the times I have to spend simply being, with a good cup of hot coffee and maybe a doughnut or two.

A reply:

Seasons?  Absolutely.  And you've discovered one of the most important aspects of life--being aware of the seasons as they come, and accepting them completely for what they are.  The people who have the hardest time in their lives are those who fight against their situations instead of accepting them.  They resent the busy periods, and they get bored when they've been sent times of rest--so they fill their times of rest with artificial busyness because they can't stand relaxing, even though rest and relaxation is what they and their bodies and their minds need the most!

Enjoy the season that you have.  In track and in most sports, it's actually called a season.  (Unfortunately, there are some sports that are going into two or three seasons a year, and keeping people from learning new and different and complementary skills, but that's another issue entirely.)  You are busy for now.  But after next Saturday, when the run is over, you'll be much less busy.  Then you'll have just six weeks left of track, and then you'll be much less busy.  But don't worry--there will be something to pick up the slack.  You do have several novels that you've been working on, don't you?

Listening

Good morning, God, and thank you for giving me this new day, as well as the hours and days that I've had since the last time I said thanks. Spring is on its way and the days are warming up, and we're all looking forward to the better weather, the long walks, the sunshine and the warmth.  The changing seasons certainly are an amazing blessing, as they keep us looking forward in anticipation, and they give us something different to feel and to appreciate and to cherish each day.

It's also almost spring break, which will be a very nice week of resting and recovering from what has been quite a long year so far.  Not a terrible year by any means, but a very long year nonetheless.  I look forward to relaxing a bit and enjoying the down time.

In our speech class right now, we're discussing listening and its importance in our lives.  Sometimes I feel like the worst listener in the world though, and I know that I don't listen to you or for your voice nearly enough.  The day gets going and I get caught up in it, and I don't take advantage of the slow times to listen for your messages to me that could help me to deal with certain situations in different and better ways.  If I could ask for anything from you, it would be help in listening, and in recognizing those times when it's important for me to listen and not necessarily to speak.  I need to hear more than I say, but usually because I get caught up in the teacher side of who I am, I end up speaking much more than I listen.

I'll try to develop some strategies to remind me to listen, but I'd also like to ask for your help with reminders, preferably gentle ones. . . .

Today

Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day in my life.  I really do appreciate all that I have on this new day, all that I'll be able to do and to share and to give.  It's Friday, which is also a good thing, as the work week comes to an end and I'll have a couple of days to shift my focus to other things in my life.

Life keeps going on and on, you know, and the world keeps turning.  Things keep changing, and things keep being done the same ways by the same people.  It's interesting to watch and experience life, though sometimes I feel that I'm watching from the outside as simply an observer--but I certainly can't be the first person who's thought that, can I?

Perhaps that's my calling--to be able to observe the things that people do and don't do, the mistakes that they make and their triumphs, so that I can pass on the knowledge that I gain from what I see to the students in my classes.  I don't know if that's the case or not, but it certainly could be.  Or perhaps those lessons are supposed to show up in my writings. . . . I don't know.  If that's the case, then I'm certainly not writing enough, am I?  Maybe that's the discomfort that I've been feeling recently--the need to get back to the writing, rather than spending so much time on the website, which is where it is right now, and doesn't necessarily need the amount of time that I'm putting into it.   Hmm. . . .

In any case, thank you for this day and these new thoughts.  I'll ponder them and listen for your reply!  I hope I'll hear it when it comes!

A reply:

You will hear it.  Enjoy the day.

New Starts

Good morning,  God, and thank you for this new day.  Today I get to start over again, completely anew in many ways.  I go to school and a new day awaits me--new ways of treating people, new things to say to them, new ways of looking at what my students do and how they do it.  Track season started yesterday, so we have new things to look forward to in track, especially since last year's coach seems to have made a pretty big mess of things.  I'm hoping that we're going to be able to overcome the negative perception of the program and have a successful season.  I believe it can happen, but it remains to be seen how.

Each day should be a new start for me, but most days I forget this fact.  I get caught up in the routine, in the same old things--lesson plans, class plans, work to do, papers to grade.  It's pretty difficult sometimes to pull myself back and look at things in a fresh way, to see the possibility and potential inherent in each day rather than the limitations that are in place because of others and, of course, myself.

I think that one very important thing for me to do is to keep my mind on you, on the eternal, because that helps me to remember just how fleeting everything is, just how quickly this all will pass and become something else.  And since it is fleeting, we might as well take our time with what we're doing and notice all  the beauty and love around us.  We might as well take the time to connect to others, to learn things about them and realize just how important they really are to us.

We're starting anew every day--even every moment, if we're able to keep our minds on that possibility.  What I would like to ask you is for your grace, for your constant reminder that we are eternal beings here in a temporal state, for your assurance that things will be fine in our new starts, even if we're not necessarily successful in all that we start.

A reply:

New starts are beautiful, and yes, they are constant if you wish them to be.  My only word of caution would be to make sure that what you started before is finished before you move on to a new start.  Many of my children have a very hard time in life because of their unfinished business, because they haven't brought to a close something that they've started.  As the unfinished tasks in our lives pile up, they start to weigh you down and give you trouble on your journey, causing you to move more slowly and more uncertainly on your way as you carry the burdens of today and yesterday.

But you're right--today is a good day to see new things in people, to find new joy in old tasks, to find new things to compliment in old friends, to share new words of encouragement with people who need it.  New starts can happen every moment, and one of my hopes for all of you is that you're able to keep moving forward like a flowing river in which the water never stagnates.  There is definitely a flow to life, and either you can tell yourself that you're still in the same old river, or you can look about and say "Look at the new sights that the river has carried me to see today!"

Monday

Hello, God, and thanks for this new day starting this new week.  It's going to be a very busy one in my life, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing.  I have to let go of some expectations, obviously--our track practices start today--and once I do that, things will be fine, I'm sure.  I've had a very long time without any sort of coaching at all, so this will be both a good new start and a different kind of transition as I lose time that I normally would have spent doing other things.

I do thank you for this opportunity to work with the young people on something like track--helping them to develop their skills is a lot of fun, and it's great to be able to watch them grow and improve.  I want to do my very best at the coaching so that the kids have a chance to do their very best as athletes.  Knowing that you're there with all of us, all the time, does make things easier.  As I said before, though, I need to let go of any high expectations I have of myself or--especially--the kids, as I cannot control the amount of work they do or the amount of effort that they put into their work.

In any case, though, thanks again--I really do appreciate this opportunity, and I look forward to doing all I can to make this a positive experience for everyone.

A reply:

You're welcome.  Yes, I am there, just as I am everywhere.  And it is important that you let go of the expectations.  You're finally coming to learn that those expectations are what cause you the greatest amount of stress in your life--once you're able to let go of them, you'll find that life is a much easier road to travel than you thought it was.  And have fun!

Wonderful Works

Good morning, God, and thanks much for this new day!  I have many hours stretching out ahead of me to work with, to accomplish new things, to learn new things, to share things that I've learned throughout my life.  I thank you in advance for these chances, and I hope that I'm able to take advantage of them and use them in the best ways possible.

In our classes, we've just finished To Kill a Mockingbird, a wonderful novel with an amazing narrator/main character.  I'd like to thank you for works like these in my life--novels and poems and stories and songs that are more than just entertainment--they're works that teach us, that make us feel more than we felt before we came across them, that remind us of our humanity and the many traits that comprise that humanity--our compassion and our love and our sense of unity.

I'm very fortunate that I'm able to bring such works to students, too, and I thank you for that.  Sharing these works opens their minds and their hearts, and allows me to expand their worlds a bit with ideas that they might never be exposed to otherwise.  To Kill a Mockingbird allows me to teach about love and compassion and the effects of prejudice, not just the plotline of the book or the characters.  Everything works together in the book to create a world that students can step into, not just look into.

I really do appreciate such books.  I wish I could write books like them.  It's okay that I can't, I suppose--my work lies elsewhere, right?  No matter what my work or my abilities, though, I know that I'm grateful that other people have created works that are amazing reminders of the beauty and wonder of this world of ours.

A response:

You're welcome, though I don't take credit for those works.  Many, many people find themselves with adequate talents and in ideal situations for writing amazing works, yet they choose not to do so.  The writers themselves deserve the credit for taking risks, making the effort, and putting themselves out there.

As far as your works go, keep working on it.  You may be surprised what you find coming out of your mind and onto the paper.  You certainly have a rich enough background to share with others--the question is whether you'll do so or not.

Lumps

Good morning, God, and thanks for this new day.  The last couple of weeks have been pretty stressful, what with the unidentified lump in my body.  I saw a doctor on Tuesday and had an Ultrasound yesterday, so today I should get some sort of idea of what I'm dealing with.  The stress of not knowing is a pretty rough thing, as you well know, but I have reached a fairly balanced point at which I'm not allowing it to affect me much.  It keeps me a bit preoccupied, but that's about it.

Terry and I have had a couple of talks of the worst-case scenario--what's she going to do if I'm gone?  Where will she live?  That sort of thing.  I think she'll be in pretty good shape financially for a few years, so I'm not too worried about that.  Of course, there's the nagging feeling that something would be very wrong in leaving her so soon and so suddenly, but there would be nothing that could be done about it, so. . . .

I'm not going to beg you to make everything alright.  I'm not going to beg you to make me healthy in a moment.  People get sick and die all the time, and I'm a person.  I will ask you to be with me no matter what direction this all takes, to help me feel the balance and equanimity to deal with anything that happens in the best ways possible.  I hope that the call I get from the doctor today tells me that everything's fine, or that everything will be fine soon.  But if the call says something else, well. . . .

An answer:

I do appreciate the fact that you aren't going to ask me to heal your body.  The power for that is within you, and if you ask me to do it and then are disappointed, then you become disappointed in me and our relationship obviously suffers.  I have given you amazing powers of healing, and you do know how to access them.

I will be with you, all the way.  You know this already, but I am glad that you asked.  It's like asking your father if he's coming to your wedding (for most people, anyway)--you know he's coming, but there is importance in the asking.  I will be with you as a resource and a guide and a shoulder.  Use me as you will.  Be strong, but allow yourself to be weak when it's necessary, and allow others to be strong for you.  You'll know more very soon about just what you'll be going through--accept it with grace and with the knowledge that there's much to learn in every situation, and you'll find that the next part of your journey will be much more bearable, even enjoyable.

A New Week

Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day.  Thanks for the many opportunities that I'll have to show love, to talk with others and learn more about them, to share knowledge and information that will help others in their lives.  I'll have many chances today to contribute in positive ways to the lives of the people with whom I'll be, so please allow me to do well when I get those chances, and to do what you and loved know to be the best thing.

I go into this day a bit tired, so please be with me and help me to maintain my energy and my high spirits.

Obstacles

Good day, God--

And thanks very much for this new day of ours.  In these hours, I hope to give all that I can to the people with whom I work, with whom I interact, with whom I share this planet and the personal small world of mine.

I've recently come into a situation that's going to be extremely difficult to work through--I've been hired as the track coach at the school where I teach, and it's a program that's in miserable shape, with no core of athletes, no history of success, and a total of $8.45 in its account.  It's a situation that one could look at and quite legitimately say, "I'm screwed."

But this is where you've put me, for whatever reasons there may be.  This is my reality, and I'm in it no matter what's going to happen, right?  So I suppose that what I'd like to ask you, quite simply, is to be with me as I tackle the problems.  This program is completely dysfunctional and close to useless due to the mismanagement of the previous track coaches, and it's going to take an awful lot of work to get it going again, and to get it up to a point at which it's a viable and valuable program.

I'm going to need help if I'm going to be able to do that.  Could you please help me?  Sometimes I feel silly even asking, but I know that in asking, I remind myself that you are there, and that I won't be in this alone.  So I ask now.

And I thank you in advance.

A reply:

You're welcome.  In advance.  And be careful of your feelings, especially those that will keep you focused on the mess and the people who have caused it.  Focus instead on the people who benefit from the program, and you'll find that there will be many rewards.  If you allow yourself to get angry and frustrated, the students will suffer, too, and the program will never be a valuable one that helps students to achieve great things.  Be there for them, and keep out of your mind the mismanagement and the neglect of the others.

And have fun.  Working with kids can be great fun, as you well know.

Am I Making a Difference?

Good morning, God!  It's Monday, and it's the start of a new week and a new work week.  Many things are going to happen to me and around me and because of me this week, and I hope that you'll be there with me, strong in my mind and spirit, so that any decisions that I make, any actions that I take, will be a reflection of love and caring and compassion instead of self-interest or fear.

You know, as each week starts I feel something similar--I wonder if what I'm doing is making any sort of difference at all.  Am I contributing in positive ways to the education and well-being of my students, or am I just doing a job for pay?  Am I giving enough of myself?  Am I treating the kids well?  All of them?  And I guess that the most important question that I can ask is whether or not what I'm doing will have any sort of lasting value, or if all that I do is simply forgotten at the end of the year.

It's very different teaching the freshmen and sophomores who really don't have any idea of the importance of what we do in class, and who for the most part don't care much about the education they're receiving.  To them, class work is something to get through, period.  Am I making a difference?  I know that I'm fully aware of the fact that I'm in a field in which most of the gratification is long deferred, and very often never even seen by the teachers.  But sometimes it would be nice to know that in some way I am making even the slightest difference.

A reply:
You know already one of the most important principles in life:  if you do what you do with love, then you are making a positive difference in the lives of all those who come in contact with the work you do.  While sometimes the feeling of love may not be there, you know that you do love what you do and that you do love the students who are there in your class, so no matter where your heart or mind may be at any given moment, you are still there in love, and you are still acting in love.

The love is the part that does allow you to "make a difference."  For some students, they may not retain much of the subject matter at all, but they'll  remember that they were treated well in the classroom, and they'll appreciate that fact very much.  In that way, yes, you are making a difference.  And remember the email from Rebekah, in which she told you that she didn't realize until she left just how much she appreciated the way you treated her.

And most of  the students will retain much of what you do in class.  For them, too, you are making a difference, because their work will be much easier in future classes.  For them, the papers that they write in the future will come much more easily, and you'll be contributing to the lack of stress in their lives.  They'll certainly appreciate that.

You do know this already:  You're in a field in which most gratification is deferred, and much of it is never manifested.  Because of this, you have to trust more than many others--trust that what you're doing is positive, that it has positive effects, and that it is a positive contribution to the lives of those who are touched by your teaching.  Are you the best teacher in the world?  Probably not.  The most effective?  Probably not.  But because you teach from a place of love and compassion and respect, trust me--you're way, way up there, and you do make a difference.

Reading signs

Good morning, God!  A new day is here, and I get to use it trying to help students to understand a novel, all of the intricacies and details that normally would go right by them--if I do it well.  I would much appreciate your presence there so that I can stay focused in ways that will help them.

As you know already, there's a situation at school that's somewhat ridiculous, and that makes me very frustrated.  It truly makes me wonder if I made a mistake in coming here to teach, as the lack of organization and vision here are truly difficult to deal with.  I don't understand often how people can not do things that they're supposed to do, and then not see any problem with not having done it.  This school, I think, is going to lose several teachers next year, and that's going to mean another difficult year of transition.  And the loss won't necessarily be for good reasons.  Oh, well--I'm trying to look at the signs and decide whether this place is a good fit for me, and whether I'm a good fit for this place.  I know that the way it is, the school and I are not a good fit.  I always look to the ways that it could be, though, if I need to make important decisions.

I'm not asking for a reply this morning, obviously, since I need to live soon.  But I do know that sometimes you can help me to see things more clearly, or with less bias.  And that's what I ask for as the window for my decision comes closer--discernment.  Please help me to see things in different ways, in clear ways, in helpful ways.

Preparedness

Good morning, God, and thank you very much for this new day and this new week.  I have ahead of me many new chances to accomplish major and minor things, and I do appreciate the opportunities.

I'd like to ask you about my difficulties in being prepared--or rather, my perceived difficulties in being prepared.  Sometimes I get extremely stressed out because I feel that I'm unprepared for something, yet it usually turns out that I'm fine--that I've done all I needed to do in order to be ready for the situation.  This is especially true in teaching.  Every Sunday and every Monday morning I feel a strong sense of stress, even though I know that I'm usually okay, and that nothing's going to go wrong during the week.

I guess the bottom line is that I put a lot of stress on myself with my imaginings of failure or folly, the way that I see possible disasters occurring when no disaster is actually looming.  I'd like to change this habit, but it seems to be sticking with me even though I know of it, I recognize it, and I accept it and try to deal with it.

A reply:

Every one of you on this planet is reliving your childhood over and over again.  Most of you have moved on far enough so that you're reliving only a small part of it, only minor portions that usually have to do with your greatest fears.  Growing up in an unstable household in which alcohol addiction played a major role, you--as you know already--are dealing with many issues that are typical of adults who grew up as children of alcoholics.  The two issues that affect you most--as you also know--are the fear of relationships and the fear of failure, of being criticized for not doing what you were supposed to do.

The most important steps for dealing with these issues have been taken care of--you recognize them, and you accept them.  But now you want to banish them from your life, which is completely understandable.  How can you banish a fear that seems to arise on its own?  How can you banish a thought that comes unbidden?

Your fears, of course, originate in your thoughts.  And really, that's all they are.  For you, the best way to deal with the fears has been to be completely prepared, for then you know that there will be no problems making class work.  And that's one way that you can take care of the fears before they happen--trade time that you normally would spend doing something else, and use it to prepare for the things that stress you out the most.  You know how you spend your time--where can you find time to prepare for the things that give you the most stress.

Remember that very often, you're not stressed because you're not prepared, but you're stressed because you didn't use time that you had available to do the work that needed to be done before you did other work.  Certain work on certain things can wait until after the grading is done.  Other work can wait until after your lesson plans are done.  It's always a trade-off.

Ask yourself very clearly and give yourself an honest answer:  Do these thoughts result because of the situation itself, or are they a part of your life because of the ways in which you've prioritized?

Today

Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day in our lives! Where we are, the wind is blowing very strongly and it's raining, a combination that makes for a lovely Sunday morning. I like the cloudy weekend weather in the winter--it gives me an excuse for staying indoors and enjoying the day in a very relaxing way.

It's very, very hard for me to believe that it's almost February. By the end of this week we'll be in the new month. And of course, I see life in a day-to-day fashion, but the months going by are a nice reminded of the fact that this all will end, relatively soon. A new month arriving reminds me to take care of things I want to take care of, to do things I want to do, to stop neglecting things that I've been neglecting. At my core, I don't even believe in time, but since I'm here and we're all using it, I do pay attention to it as much as I need to.

I have no big issues at the moment, but maybe soon. I just wanted to say thanks for the day, and thanks for days of rest!

A reply:

You're welcome. And thank you for taking advantage of it, and not squandering it!

Let me show love. . . .

Good morning, God, and thank you for this new day in our lives.  On this day I'll be going out there once more, doing my best to be the best person I can be, and doing my best to be a positive influence on the other people with whom I come in contact.  And since most of those people are young people, high school students, I hope that the influence that I'm able to have is a good one, one that reflects the love with which you created us, the love that we're all here to experience and spread.  If I could ask one thing for this new day, I would ask you to help me to spread that love unconditionally, whether spreading it means encouraging, correcting, helping, listening--whatever.  And please help me to recognize the best ways of sharing with all of the different individuals with whom I have contact.

Thanks!

A reply:

You're welcome.  I will be with you.  Stay focused on the work that you're supposed to be doing, and you'll find that by fulfilling your calling, you're doing just what you ask here.  And everything else that seems to be above and beyond the calling--the encouragement, the kind words, the caring--really are part of your calling, too, whatever that calling may be.

And I thank you for wanting to spread the love that's so important to me, to the world, and to each individual soul who is spending time on your planet.

Tuesday

It's Tuesday today, God, and I thank you for this new set of hours, this new day with light and fresh air and colors and laughter and even stress and problems.  I have a new set of hours to work with, a new set of experiences and opportunities, so thanks very much.

It's good to wake up in the morning and not be stresses about work.  It's good to have a more positive perspective on work, since that's where I have to be all day each day, and where I do the most of my giving to the world.  If the negative feelings had continued, then I'm not sure how things would have gone.

I don't have any pressing questions at the moment, just a thanks for the day.  I do ask you to be with me during the day so that I can make decisions that are positive and life-affirming, and so that I can react to students in loving, caring ways, ways that will be most beneficial to them.  Help me to see clearly so that I can recognize things like pain and fear rather than seeing them as defiance or trouble-making.  Help me to be a calming influence rather than someone who brings out the kids' fears.  With your presence all day long, I can be a much more positive influence on all the kids, and I thank you for that possibility.

Have a great day!  I'll do my best to do the same!

A New Day

Hello, God, and thank you very much for this new day.  I have many more opportunities for many things in my life today--new connections with people, new ideas to learn and ponder, new things to read and to see and to enjoy.  Of course, there will also be new problems arising, but I'm sure that I'll be able to deal with those.

I do have a question for you today--sometimes I ask you in the morning to be with me throughout the day so that you influence me more than my stress or other people or my fears influence me.  Then the day starts taking on its own life, and that prayer is no longer a part of my conscious self--instead, it sinks to the depths of my mind, and I don't even remember it until much later, if at all.  And sometimes as I reflect on the days that have gone by, I wonder if you really were there with me, or if I just went about doing things my own way (as I'm often wont to do).  In my contact with my students, were you a big part of it, or was that contact all me?  I'd like to think that the former is the case, as I think there would be more love and compassion present in the interactions, but I can't be sure.  Perhaps I'm looking for surety, which of course isn't possible, but even if I am, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I guess the simple question is this:  If I ask you to be there with me the whole day, are you there the whole day?  Are you a strong part of who I show to the world, or a weak part?  Must I keep you in the forefront of my mind all day in order for you to be present in my thoughts, deeds, and actions?

A reply:

This one is simple:  I am always with you.  Always.  Sometimes you get so caught up in the life that you're living that you don't access all that I offer, but I'm still there.  Always.

Remember, prayer is for your sake, and it's something that allows you to focus--and stay focused--on higheer ways of doing things, of better and kinder ways to approach life.  I don't punish you for not praying, but you do feel the effects of not accessing such a positive part of who you are--me.  I do have many gifts for you, and I do offer peace of mind and heart, and I do offer direction.  Always when it's asked for, and sometimes when it isn't asked for.

For most people who do trust in me, the asking doesn't have to be conscious, and it doesn't have to be constant.  Yes, if you ask me to be with you all day in the morning, then I am with you all day.  You have accessed my presence and my gifts and my abundance.  It's not so much that I'm with you all day, but that you've opened the door to me all day, and you do have access to me all day long, as I have access to you all day long.

Love

Good morning, God!  I thank you for this new day, with all its promise and potential, all the good things that can happen, and yes, even all the not-so-good things that can help me to grow and to learn.  I'm coming off of a sick day, a day spent at home instead of at school, and I do feel a bit refreshed and invigorated.  I do feel more healthy than I felt yesterday, too, and I'm hoping that what I had has passed.

I've been reading a book that I've had for a while that's called "The Courage to Teach," and I'm impressed by much of what I find there.  The author, Parker J. Palmer, actually has the nerve to talk about things like love when he talks about teaching.  And not just in the sense that someone loves teaching, but in the sense that one of our most important elements of being a good and effective teacher, and that's something that I need to be reminded of regularly, because I forget it regularly.  I'm not in a classroom  for the paycheck or for the passing on of information--I'm there because I love the people whom I'm teaching (and who are teaching me important lessons about life, too).

Why is it that love--which should be our primary motivator in anything that we do--is so rarely recognized as such?  Why do we view the word with suspicion?  It's a tremendous gift that we have, this ability to love and to be loved, so why don't we view it as such and put it out there, making it transparent and obvious?  Is it because we fear that our love will be trampled on and disrespected, and that we may not be able to love any more if it is?  Do we fear that others will view our use of the word "love" with suspicion?  I want love to be my primary motivational force, but I almost always relegate it to a secondary role.

Why is that?

A reply:

You've learned well, in many ways.  You do understand already some of the reasons for which people are hesitant to share and spread their love.  And perhaps that's one of the major aims of being alive in the first place--to learn how to share love clearly, fully, and without condition.  You see the results of many people doing so--the Mother Teresas and the Leo Buscaglias, for example--and their examples are beautiful examples of people living up to their potential in life, and living fully and happily (even if their version of happiness doesn't match the versions of others).

One of the things the world needs more than anything else nowadays is to have more people be role models of unconditional love, more people who are willing to risk love and show love and live love.  There aren't enough people out there doing that, and our young people have precious few role models.  And when you do find someone who is living that way, then share their writings or their films or their art so that others can see that it is possible to focus on love and still get by, still make a living--to still thrive and experience abundance on this planet.

Take your love into your classroom.  In your case, you need more reminders in the form of notes or signs, for you forget things very quickly and easily, and you get caught up in the day very quickly, losing you focus on things like love and focusing instead on things like how they're doing, and what they've gotten right and wrong, and who's improving and who isn't.  Love them all, no matter what.  It's the unconditional love that's going to turn a heart, and that's going to allow that young person to grow up and share unconditional love with others.  Eventually.

Caught up in Tasks

Good morning, God--and thanks for this new day.  I have another new day during which I get to enjoy all the benefits of this planet on which we find ourselves--the food and the shelter and the people and the beauty and the challenges and the rewards for having met challenges.  I thank you for all that.

These days are kind of difficult for me, to be honest.  I think that this time every year is a bit difficult, as I find myself trying to make sure that my students get everything they're supposed to get from me before they move on to their next classes.  I feel a great sense of responsibility towards them, to make sure that they aren't missing anything that I should be giving them.

Sometimes, though, I find myself getting caught up so much in the little tasks involved with life and teaching that I forget some of the beauties of life.  Sometimes I'm working so much on little things that end up taking hours that I forget (or neglect) to do the spiritual reading that I love to do; I forget to write in the journals that I keep; I neglect to encourage or help people.  Sometimes I get so focused on doing the little things that the big things go right by me.

I'll give you a good example.  Yesterday was a snow day, so we had a day off from school.  The day before, I had noticed a problem on a website that needed to be fixed, so do you think that I spent the time on our snow day enjoying the day off and getting the most out of it?  Or did I spend most of the day dealing with that problem?  Of course, you know the answer to that question.  I don't feel that I wasted the day, by any means, but I do find it difficult sometimes to redirect, to take my time with little problems like that instead of trying to get them all done right now.

On the other hand, there is value to taking care of problems when they come up, and not having them hang over my head, isn't there?

I suppose that what I'm asking you about right now is discernment, and the ability to choose wisely when I need to decide what I'm going to do and when I'm going to do it.  Sometimes I even get so overwhelmed by the variety of choices available to me that I don't do anything at all.  But that's another story, isn't it?

A reply:

Much of your problem stems from the fact that you've gone through so many trainings for things such as time management and organization that you feel that you should be better at choosing what you do and when you do it--the fact that you aren't better at it frustrates you, and you judge yourself harshly for not being able to put into practice all that you've learned.

Keep this in mind, though:  I didn't create you to be a super-organized person.  I created you to be who you are, and if you try to be something that you're not, there will be a lot of dissonance.  Right now you're frustrated because some things overwhelm you, and you feel that they shouldn't.  But the feeling of being overwhelmed is a valuable feeling to have, especially for a teacher--how can you possibly have compassion for how your students feel if you don't feel it yourself?

There is no way that a snow day should be spent.  There are no rules as to what people should do and when.  These are rules and needs that you create yourself.  It's good that you feel the sense of responsibility that helps you to get things done--follow that need, for that is part of who you are.  And don't worry so much about who you are not, and what you're not doing.  Do what you're doing well, and remember that when tomorrow dawns, that other task will still be waiting for you.  Use what you can from what you've learned (lists work well for you, it seems), and do the best you can--and do it with love.  That's all I ever ask. 

A New Day

Good morning, God--

I guess this morning I don't have much to ask or to talk about.  I just want to use this entry as an opportunity to center myself a bit, to get a strong sense of focus before I head to school so that I can do the best that I can while I'm there and hopefully help the students with whom I work.  I know that I'm an important part of their lives no matter what, even if they don't necessarily see me that way, and it's important that I take that role seriously if I'm to have any positive effects at all.

There are so many frustrations, though.  I work with kids who don't believe in themselves or their futures, kids who have no desire to learn because they don't see any reason to do so.  It gets hard to be in the classroom because we cover the information that we're supposed to cover, but they honestly make little effort to learn the material--they just want to pass over it and move on to the next thing, whether they actually know the last thing or not.

But my frustrations are my frustrations, and I should not take them out on the students.  That's simply not fair.  So I keep doing what I'm doing, and I do my best to help them to learn material that they really do need to know.  And they will do what they do, and hopefully, eventually they'll see that there is some importance to what we do, some importance to knowing the material that we're covering.  Because if they never realize this, how is the time they spend in the classroom with me ever going to help them at all?

Holding on to Junk

Good morning, God.  I have to say that I'm astonished that we're finishing the first week of the year today--it doesn't seem possible that so much time has gone by.  Whether it seems so or not, though, here we are--the seventh day of January.  And I thank you for getting me this far into the year so far, and this far into my life.

Right now I'm dealing with an unpleasant issue in my life.  When I interviewed for my job here, I made it very clear that I was interested in one particular aspect of the job--coaching--an extra that most schools are ecstatic to have people interested in.  During the second week in the school year, a position came open and I immediately applied for it.  Unfortunately, four months have gone by since that application, with no action taken on it at all.  Last week I withdrew the application, as there will be no way to properly prepare for the job in the limited amount of time that remains before it begins.

What I'm holding onto these days is resentment and anger.  If I had been told that I wouldn't have any real opportunities for coaching my entire first year here, I most definitely would not have taken this job.  If I had been told that an application would sit around for four months without any action being taken on it at all, I would not have taken this job.  So  now here I am, having accepted a position that turns out to be much more negative than I ever would have dreamed.  I've started to feel that I made a huge mistake when I accepted the job.

And I need to let go of the resentment and anger.  I need to let go of the frustration.  I still have too many other responsibilities to allow those feelings to interfere, to change me and the ways that I treat others.  I don't want to be fixated on it any longer, though in my life, staying focused on things like this always has been something that I've had difficulties with.  Any suggestions?

A reply:

This is very difficult for you, I know that.  And just so that you're fully aware, no, I didn't plan it in order to teach you a very valuable lesson.  I can make good of it, but it is a result of other people's actions, not of my will.

You are where you are.  Your reasons for accepting the job you have are irrelevant right now, though you are using them to justify your anger and your frustration.  And that's understandable--not helpful or healthy, but definitely understandable.  Because you are where you are, your focus should be on doing all you can for the people you're with, something that you recognize and acknowledge already.  That said, it's important that you are successful in working your way past the feelings that you have now, for those feelings are holding your down and back, keeping you from seeing all the brightness in your life right now.

Shift your focus.  Try to stay focused on the things that you like.  Yes, coaching is very important to you, and yes, you were looking forward to this opportunity.  I don't think you've made a mistake in withdrawing your application, if for nothing else than to point out the complete disregard with which the people who should have done the hiring weeks or months ago have shown the applicants.  Sometimes something like pulling yourself out of consideration--and you're a very highly qualified candidate--sends a very important message to other people in the process who need to know that others aren't living up to their responsibilities.  And the amount of frustration that you would feel taking on a task that needs much more preparation than a few weeks would allow would be just as bad as the frustration that you feel now, I fear, so it could be better to get these feelings out of the way as quickly as you can.

Of course, these are feelings we're talking about.  They aren't necessary controllable; when you choose to shift your focus to other things, your mind will want to drag you back to these feelings.  All you can do in that case is recognize what's happening, acknowledge and accept the feelings that you have, and then make every effort to shift your focus back to where it's going to be more positive for you.  Feelings are powerful, but you are the one who gives power to them.  It's not good to ignore them, but it's also not good to allow them to determine whether your day is a positive one or a negative one, whether you show love or frustration to others.

It's not easy.  But it is up to you.  Your feelings may be justified--frustration and anger very often are--but that doesn't make them helpful.  Try to find the feelings that are helpful, and allow them to be a positive force in your life.