Letting Go of Results

You know, God, one thing that I definitely could use help with is the ability to let go of results.  I think that I'm pretty good at it--much better than most people I know--but I still do have a sort of inner need to see quantifiable results of work that I've done or activities that I've taken on.  Sometimes I get caught up in checking on results on progress many times a day, when I should be able to simply let go and not keep checking.  After all, checking doesn't do a thing in my situation; if checking meant that I could make some changes, then it might have some benefit.

What is is that makes me want to know results so often?  Is it just curiosity (as I tell myself to justify my actions), or is there more to it?  When I go on vacation and I'm not able to check results of things, I'm fine.  When I'm at home and able to do so, then I do check, and it wastes a lot of time and sometimes adds quite a bit of stress to my life if the results aren't what I was hoping for.

I know that part of the problem lies in a fundamental lack of trust--in you, in myself, in the work that I've done and the actions I've taken.  I really, really want to reach a point at which I trust you completely, and even though I'm much closer to that now than I was twenty years ago, for example, I'm still far, far away from it in my own eyes.  Too many obstacles continue to surface and hold me back, and that could be partly because I'm trying to control situations myself instead of letting them work out how they should be.

So how can I trust you more?  I can't ask you for some sort of sign--a lot of "religious" people say that it's fine to ask for signs, but that just feels completely wrong to me--and what I've seen so far doesn't really help me.  When I work as long and as hard as I've worked and I still see others succeeding much more than I succeed, it does make me wonder where my trust should be placed, or if my trust is merited.  I feel that it is, but I don't want to put you to the test at all, but I also don't want to keep on keeping on with the levels of frustration that I've been dealing with.  How can I move forward?  What can I do--especially specifically?  I'll be listening and trying to hear your answers. . . .