About your words on Sunday. . . the mere fact that you're spending the time to talk to me, to write to me, to think about me before you make many of your decisions means that your faith is in a very good place. Don't worry so much about the strength of your faith, because that, like everything else, is somewhat cyclical. Some days your faith will seem like your strongest asset, while on other days it will seem to be completely depleted like an empty bottle of water when you're in the middle of the desert.
Be careful of other people who use their idea of your faith to judge you. Be careful of people who say things like, "If your faith were stronger, you wouldn't be saying that," or, "All you have to do is have faith and this problem will dissolve like sugar in water."
Remember this: Faith is about your relationship with me, and my relationship with you. It is NOT quantifiable. You cannot put it into a measuring cup or on a scale. It waxes and wanes like the moon, and it is dynamic, not static. You cannot build faith like a building; rather, you develop faith, like a muscle or knowledge.
You CAN trust me. I know that in your background you've known many people whom you cannot trust, but you've also known many more whom you can trust. You can trust me. I don't come crashing through walls like a superhero to take away all your problems, but I do work on them as I work on you and as you work on yourself through prayer and introspection. I help you when you ask for it through yourself, not as an outsider. Let me explain.
I am in you and with you at all times. When you pray to me, you're turning on the power that I provide, the energy to do things and see things clearly and respond well. Sometimes when you feel that you're trusting yourself, you're actually trusting me; likewise, sometimes when you feel that you're trusting me, you're actually trusting yourself. And most important of all, the two are basically the same thing. When you're trusting yourself, you're trusting the strength and potential that I put into you when I created you. When you're trusting me, you're trusting the person that I created with so much love and close attention--yourself.
Two things that I hope you always realize: People are not rewarded more than others because they have stronger faith than others, and people are not punished because their faith is weaker than that of others. It's not a competition. I don't see a person whose faith is strong and say, "Wow, that person is worthy of my special favor." If the person's faith is strong, then the person is setting into motion things that tend to make his or her life more rich and rewarding, what some people refer to as the "Law of Attraction" (I'll get into that one day soon--the focus there can be very damaging for many people). Likewise, I don't see a person whose faith is weak and say, "I'm going to make that person suffer until he or she gets their act together and strengthens their faith." If I did that, how would their faith ever grow? Weak faith is a sign of weak self-trust, and those people need my compassion, not my harsh judgment.
In short, I understand your concerns about your faith. And it's good that you have those concerns, for they keep you focused on something that's good to focus on--your relationship with me and with life. But your faith is fine. Do not judge it--it is what it is. But keep working to develop it, just as you would a muscle or your knowledge of your areas of expertise. Develop it by looking for the positive outcomes in your life, and accepting them and being grateful for them. Develop it by continuing to talk to me and with me. Develop it by watching people of faith and seeing how their lives come together--but note that I'm talking about true people of faith, not necessarily the religious zealot types who go around bragging about the strength of their faith. A person of true faith does no bragging at all. NONE AT ALL. Faith is about relationship with me, and one who uses that relationship as a bragging point is violating that relationship, not strengthening it.
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