Frustration

I get frustrated with life, God.  Here I am, trying to do the best I can to give to others, to help others, to use my skills and talents for the benefit of other people, and what do I get for it?  Well, three years ago, I got a layoff, and the resulting debt burden is weighing very, very heavily on my wife and me.  I got laid off from a school where I was doing an exceptional job, doing tons of extra work, and giving all I had of myself, and all that I (and twelve others) got for our efforts was the letter saying we wouldn't be re-hired.  The school district didn't have the money to keep us--they were going to hire brand-new teachers who were much cheaper than we were.

So here I am, still giving and still doing my best to help others, sinking not so slowly under the debt that came about because of that layoff and our ensuing move.  My wife hasn't had full-time work for two years, and we just face new pressure after new pressure after new pressure--enough pressure so that we have to move again to a new area where my wife may be able to find work.

You made us a lot of promises, if the Bible's accurate.  I don't want to be rich.  I don't care about wealth.  But this pressure that's over us constantly is getting to be very difficult to bear, and there doesn't seem to be anything that we can do about it.  I get frustrated, I get annoyed, and I start to think that there's no hope.  Every penny I earn is gone as soon as the paycheck arrives.  It makes me feel like there's no real hope, because I really haven't seen any sort of light at the end of the tunnel.  I do pray to you for the strength and wisdom to deal with the problem, but I haven't seen any answer to those prayers.  I do try to stay positive, and I don't whine and complain about our finances, but here's a chance to ask you directly:  what's up with all this?

It certainly makes me understand why people would turn to crime, where the return is much higher.  It makes me understand why people stay away from or leave the teaching profession--there's very little return here.  It makes me see why some people give up hope.  I don't want to do any of these things, but where is the end of my rope?  I don't know if I'm near it or not.

So these are my thoughts for now, God.  I honestly don't know what to do or how to proceed.  I keep trying to ask you for guidance, but I see and feel no reply at all.  So just what do I do?