The best of intentions

Good morning, God--and thanks much for this new day in our lives! We have another day to live and to love and to breathe and to learn and to experience, and I hope that I'm able to make the most of it. Thank you very much for the many opportunities that lie before me today--I really do appreciate them, and I hope to make the most of them.

I have a question for you today that may sound like I'm bitter when I'm not--why is it that so many of the things that I do bear no fruit, and actually often fail pretty miserably? I've done a lot and I've worked very hard at what I do, yet I very rarely see any positive results of the work that I do in life. I especially don't see any positive financial results of my efforts, and after a while that starts to wear one down, I believe. In my positive moments I'm fine with this fact, but there are other moments when I feel frustrated and confused. It's very hard sometimes to put forth so much effort and see so few tangible results. And it's not about expectations that haven't been met--it's more about the frustration of working very hard and very much and seeing almost nothing in the way of results.

Why is it that when all is said and done, I've basically failed at so many of the things I've chosen to do, even though I've put all that I can into them? And what might I do to stop failing--or is failure simply a part of who I am? And I don't say that as a defeatist, but as someone who has had so few tangible successes in my life that I start to wonder if there will ever be any sort of tangible success--be it financial or otherwise--for me to see as results of my efforts.

A reply:

You're welcome for the day--it should be a very nice one. It's interesting, because your first paragraph says quite clearly "I'm going to do my best to live this day fully and completely," and what could be a more compelling success than that?

Of course, if your definition of success involves return on what you've done, then success is more difficult to define. And return is often a very good indicator of success. You've written several books, and one of the indicators of success of having written is to have people actually read those books. You've had relatively few people buy and read your books, which can be a very difficult thing to have happen. After all, you wrote them with important life lessons in them, yet if no one reads your books, those life lessons aren't shared at all, are they? This can be discouraging, yet I know that you're already planning your next few books. You aren't discouraged enough to stop doing what you feel called to do--and I would call that being successful, also.

On whose terms are you defining and measuring success? Your own, or those of other people in the world? Are they the terms of people who judge and who make others feel inadequate if they don't meet certain arbitrary criteria, or are they the terms of people who love others and who care for them and who would be supportive of you in anything that you do? Which group of people would you rather belong to? Why?

"Failure" for one person is another person's success. I cannot give you an answer for your question--I don't know why your books haven't sold, why some of your commercial ventures haven't earned you money, why so many relationships have fallen by the wayside. I can assure you of one thing, though--keep on living your life and doing what you feel called to do. Ultimately, success means doing what you feel called to do and doing it well, and so far, you're there.