No Answer Yet. . . or?

Good morning, God, and thanks for this new day.  Thank you for the sky and the trees and the sunshine and the possibilities that this day brings to us.  Thank you for the work that we have and the opportunity to start over again.

I have been trying to listen over the last few days, but perhaps I've been too busy to hear what you've told me.  Or perhaps you're waiting to give me an answer or two.  Or maybe you've told me and I've heard you, but I haven't recognized the answer(s).  In any case, I don't feel that I know any sort of answer, though I do feel that I feel some of the answers--does that make sense?  In other words, there are answers in my intuition, but not in the logical portions of my brain.

I think that first of all, you've told me that we have to believe fully that the recovery will happen, and will happen earlier than I expected.  We have to have faith in you, faith in the idea that you want the best for us.

And that's where one of the conflicts arises.  I know that sometimes the best thing for people is to face periods of austerity so that we'll appreciate more strongly the periods of plenty--and how do I tell whether our current austerity is due to poor planning on our part or great planning on your part?  If I ask to be delivered from the lean times when the lean times are actually what's best, what then?  Well, obviously you aren't going to deliver me from them, which means that it will look like our prayers aren't being answered, which will make it more difficult to have faith in the power of prayer.

Oh, boy.

Here's a suggestion--just have me win the lottery or something.  Yeah, I know. . . I don't buy lottery tickets, so I can't win the lottery.  How about if you just give me some sort of sign that things will be okay?  Again, I know. . . we've already gotten plenty of such signs.  But the signs are always that things are going to be okay, and almost never this is the first step towards things being okay.  That makes it a bit difficult to have faith in the future--the kind of faith in the future that allows us to relax fully and enjoy this day.

Okay, enough rambling, I guess.  I just want to tell you some of the things that are going on in my mind, some of the things with which I'm having difficulties.  We'll do all we can to make things work, but we'll also trust in you and in life and in the unity of all your creation that things will work out, and work out well.  We'll trust that we will soon be blessed with an abundance that we really haven't even been able to imagine, and we'll be very grateful for that abundance, even now when we haven't yet seen it as part of our lives.

And we thank you beforehand for all the blessings.